Marty's Year-End Meltdown 2017

Full coverage of the "Great Green Light Memorial That Wasn't" to follow, so check back soon...

Sneak peek:

Reality Catches Up With Marty's Bullshit

Rough day, eh Marty? Double whammy.

Delusional lying idiot.

Haven't you figured out that the simple passage of time always proves that you're full of shit?

We have.

Attention: Macomb County Mental Health Professionals...

Yep, it's all true.

We've been waiting for you guys to get involved.

Cheers!

Go Team Lindroth!

Early Prediction: Not a chance. 

Curse of the Mongoose.

Tell 'em Marty sentcha!

The Inevitable Cold Shoulder.

Welcome back to the most extensive source of coverage of the biggest blow hard idiot Michigan has ever witnessed, Marty Prehn. After years of watching Moronic Marty use the exact same tactics, make the exact same threats, and display the exact same low IQ, I've accepted the fact that only the current city Marty is making an ass of himself in will change. You'd think by now the Mongoose would figure out that his same old crap is just bringing him more ridicule and insuring he'll remain a loser because nobody will take him seriously.

After years of reporting on Marty, I feel it's become quite easy to figure out what's really going on in his greasy, fat, little head. We here at CoM have predicted what Marty would do next and used his standard Modus Operandi to make him dance like a trained monkey time and again. These "Mongoose senses" are now telling me there has been a change in Marty's Fraser status. The sudden shift of Elder Dawg's leg hiking on Facebook signals the beginning of what always happens: Marty gets the cold shoulder.

I'm sure anyone that's been paying attention to Marty's "advocacy" in Fraser has noticed Marty's tactic change. Stalking people's profiles, sharing their posts, childish insults constantly posted on f.A.I.R., posting about old Fraser scandals that there was no way he could have known about have stopped. Now, he's blocked everyone, quit commenting on F.A.I.R. and returned to posting his Fraser insults on his own page. You know, the page he thinks none of the targets of his insults can see because he blocked them. When you add this to a few other clues it's obvious, in my humble opinion, the Joe Nichols circle jerk club has moved on and no longer want the services of the Special Ed Agent. Let me show you a few of the clues the Mongoose has dropped.

Throughout Marty's Fraser "assignment" he has continuously claimed he wasn't working with the circle jerk, he was merely "protecting the rights" of a couple of Fraser elected officials. Suddenly this week he's thanking certain unnamed people in Fraser for their "love, words of encouragement, and financial support". Why would Marty suddenly start claiming he was being paid to interfere in the politics of a city he has no vested interest in?

You'll also remember, certain members of the circle jerk always seemed to like Marty's Fraser related posts. How long has it been since Joe, Joe's daughter, a Foster, or Doug liked one of Marty's Facebook spews? Don't you wonder why that stopped?

Why has Marty stopped his constant commenting on past Fraser scandals and political history? Is it because his source of information has dried up? No more strategy sessions (free dinner) with the circle jerk powers? Things that make you say Hmmmm.

There is more evidence to justify my theory but I think you get the idea. Now, I'm sure some of our new readers are asking "why doesn't the asshole just move on?"  Let me paint you a word picture to explain:

Imagine you start feeding a stray cat because you have a rodent problem in your backyard. You figure the cat's presence will help with the rodents. After feeding the stray for several weeks you notice that not only has the stray not helped with the problem, in some way it's made the problem worse. You then decide to stop feeding the stray because it's actually worthless and you're just wasting money on cat food. How long do you think that stray will scream on your porch looking for the next free meal? That's what Marty is now doing on Facebook with his Fraser insults and sharing of Doug's posts. He's trying to remind the circle jerk that their stray is hungry.

I'm imagining all the messages from Marty to unnamed "supporters" trying to set up a meeting (free dinner) to discuss his latest info that will "blow the Fraser case wide open". All those messages are now being either ignored or excuses are being made for why people don't have time for him. "I can't Marty, I have to wash my hair." "But Joe, you're bald and I'm really hungry!"

What is now needed is some bait to lure the stray Mongoose away from the porch known as Fraser. Does anyone have a spare news van that can be parked at the Sterling Heights city hall?

Behold the Power of The Curse of the Mongoose!

Never fails. Never ever!

At least a lifelong friendship was made and Joe can now have Marty and his camel toe over for swimming...

This doofus was doomed since February 23;

Seriously, how did he think it would turn out? Nothing, absolutely NOTHING can escape the Curse of the Mongoose. Just ask his son on visitation day at Jackson Prison.

No one, absolutely NO ONE is glad they met Marty Prehn.

"How does he do that?"

How does he not? He's Marty Prehn.

PS: You're not in the clear by a long shot, Fraser. He'll be back. It's that "Terminator from a Future of Stupidity Robots" thing...

"Thanks, Mongoose!"

Ramblers: 42 Mongoose: 7

"STOP THE PRESSES!"

The Fraser Tribunal Restraining Order hearing was conducted yesterday morning. Of course, the worlds biggest idiot was sure to be there because press coverage was a given. Oh, and the spectre of a free meal afterwards to celebrate their anticipated victory.

Although this hearing had absolutely nothing to do with Marty, it was very important to him because.. umm... well, I guess because he's so "Martyish". On the heels of looking like a fool with his great 0-10 predictions on the recall petition outcome, this was Marty's next chance to find something to use against all of his "cyberstalkers and man haters" on the F.A.I.R. Facebook page. He antagonized them all week with his newest mantra and battle cry - "INJUNCTION!" I was actually surprised he could spell and understand a new multisyllabic word like that, although I'm not convinced he really does understand it and then there's spell checking built into even the crappiest of phones these days...

At the end of the hearing the judge announced he would give his decision within 24 hours, but apparently Marty could sense it wasn't going to go his man crush's way. After begging for lunch and gas money to get home, Marty immediately changed the subject on his Facebook page and returned to his go-to bullshit - bring up old, irrelevant stuff and start claiming the Feds are going to investigate. This is the standard Mongoose tactic that we've seen for years. Talk out of your ass about a subject you know nothing about, look foolish after the results are in and your prediction was wrong, then pretend you never mentioned it. Reminds me of hundreds of great events Marty has announced. Non-stop hype until "the time is now/now is the time" then, after nothing happens, never another mention of it.

Of course, our keen readers here at CoM knew what the results of the restraining order would be. As with any court issue Marty decides to attend in support of someone, it was DENIED. We refer to it here as the Curse of the Mongoose. 

Curse of the Mongoose®

Marty is such a loser that anything he is allowed to stick his fat head into is destined to fail miserably. It's been happening for years now and I don't see it changing anytime soon. Marty is just toxic and anyone who willfully associates with him is doomed to join him in Loserville. Don't believe me, just ask Ronnie LaForest or the Chism brats. There are others, but you'll have to do your own homework and read this blog.

At this point, the only remaining question is: Will the Joe Nichols gang finally figure out that as long as they are feeding the Mongoose, they have no hope? If Marty is still hanging around when the tribunal starts Monday, they should just resign and go home because the only result can be additional failure and public scorn. Thanks Elder Dawg! Honestly, I'm pretty sure it's already too late to save themselves from the curse. Plenty of people tried to warn Joe about what associating with Marty will cause. Stupid is as stupid does.

As far as the huge idiot Marty Prehn, he's not going anywhere until he knows he's squeezed every last free meal and photo op out of the situation. It doesn't bother him that Thomas LaDuke makes him look foolish on a daily basis. Marty has looked foolish his entire life and he's completely void of anything resembling self-respect. When the sun comes up tomorrow, he'll still be a repulsive dumbass so what difference does it make who's mocking him today? Dealing with Marty is like feeding a stray cat. Even though you stop putting out food, it keeps coming back looking for another handout. Actually, he's more akin to herpes - without the glitz and glamour.

"How does he do that?"

How indeed.

"It's Coming, Boy..."

Patience. We're eating dinner and swapping stories with the locals...

JT

8:15 PM Update:

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

"How does he do that?"

Looking at that chair, Marty could be looking at a FELONY charge of his own for destruction of public property...

jt

Life's Special Sauce from the Special Agent

Great news, CoMmies!

You too can live a bountiful and spiritually fulfilling life, just like the Mongoose!

Welcome back everyone. As I'm sure anyone who reads here knows, our guilty pleasure is making fun of the idiot known as the Mongoose, aka Martin E. Prehn. While taking a quick glance at the many recent worthless Facebook posts by Marty, I noticed one that made me chuckle a little more than the others. This was posted by Marty just a few days ago:

I couldn't help but think it would be rather entertaining to examine this list and compare it to Marty's real life. As pathetic as the loser Elder Avenger is, there's no way Marty could follow this "Simple Formula for Living".

1. Live beneath your means:

Let's face it, an abandoned resale shop on Gratiot in Roseville is pretty, umm, humbling. Perhaps he should turn his back on this glamorous lifestyle, trading in the Mongoosemobile for a shopping cart and live under a bridge at Gratiot and Rosemary in Detroit. Nah, even the ghetto has it's standards.

2. Return everything you borrow:

Does this include stolen change for gas money or donations received under false pretenses? How about ticket sale funds for fake events? Money from accounts? Slim Jims?

3. Stop blaming other people:

Like blaming your siblings for getting foreclosed on every mortgage you were paying with your parents life savings?

4. Admit when you make mistakes: 

Or just claim you were hacked and someone else made the comment. Phone calls in the middle of the night? Must be an AT&T employee cloned your phone again.

5. Give clothes not worn to charity:

Oh, please. Your average street hobo has newer and certainly cleaner clothes. Don't insult them.

6. Do something nice and try not to get caught:

Or try not to get caught with collection jars that you claim go to charity, but really just finance your beer and pizza.

7. Listen more; talk less:

Really?

8. Every day take a 30 min walk:

If Marty could find a parade or demonstration march with press coverage every day, no problem. Otherwise.....

9. Strive for excellence not perfection:

Just take credit for other's excellence. Next!

10. Be on time, don't make excuses:

The lunch buffet ends at 2:00. I promise you, Marty will be on time. 

11. Don't argue, get organized:

Look at the pictures of his room, he'll never be organized. He's not smart enough to argue with anyone over 7 years old.

12. Be kind to unkind people:

Or, refer to them all as "my cyberstalker from Madison Heights" and threaten them with government investigations, imaginary signed verbal court orders, and federal prison sentences.

13. Let someone cut ahead of you in line:

"Hell no. The obituary said there's a buffet and the family should be mingling with the other mourners!"

14. Take time to be alone:

Naked. With paper towels and Jessica's Facebook page.

15. Cultivate good manners:

Better idea - cultivate some good hygiene.

16. Be Humble:

Even while you are appearing on Ellen, Jimmy Fallon, Dr Phil, Let it Rip, all three television networks simultaneously, or being live-streamed worldwide.

17. Realize and accept life isn't fair:

F.A.I.R.? Accept that you are a loser, idiot, nobody, worthless piece of shit and nobody is ever going to attend your birthday party at Comerica Park no matter how cheap the tickets are. 

18. Know when to keep your mouth shut:

Keep the flies in.

19. Go an entire day without criticizing someone:

Marty is far too bitter to ever be able to do that.

20. Learn from the past. Plan for the future:

If Marty hasn't learned by now that people just laugh at the same old threats he's been using for years, he never will. He plans for the future with every elected official he gets a picture with. "This will prove I'm somebody!" It doesn't and just gives us something to write about.

21. Live in the present:

Is a fantasy Facebook life considered the present?

22. Don't sweat the small stuff:

Based on recent pictures, Marty sweats buckets all the time. Doesn't matter the size of the stuff.

23. It's all small stuff:

I could make a penis joke, but I haven't seen it and doubt Marty has in years. Maybe I'll check with the hobos...

Farewell to a Friend...

Rest in peace, Bob.

John

Marty Prehn Gets Fed His Dirty Diaper!

CoMmies, Citizens of Fraser and Law Enforcement personnel throughout the Metro Detroit area (and a special shout-out to Charlie Langton and Simon Shaykhet), welcome back to the Internet's premier and most accurate source of information on the biggest loser on the planet, Marty "The Mongoose" Prehn.

Today is starting to bring back memories of what we here at CoM used to call FunFriday. You see, gentle readers, Marty had a habit of having meltdowns on Friday after he cashed his $80 paycheck at the liquor store and started drinking his Milwaukee's Best. Talk about your Mongoose on the Loose! Idiot.

I have high hopes of a classic Marty Meltdown as Erica Hammel revisits Marty's attempted hijack of her crusade to establish Wyatt's Law, tonight on Bourbon After Dark at 10:00 PM EST. 

For a primer, watch how it went down at the SCS City Council meeting a few years back. Oh, the memories... Good times.

In preparation for Marty's latest exposure as a worthless piece of shit, I encourage everyone to read this past article (red link below) for a little background. 

Be sure to read the comments because they are full of Marty quotes and a few hilarious observations, including from the Wife of the Legendary Doc Chism! Maybe even a Mongoose dropping here and there. 

At the end of the day, Marty was essentially banned from showing his fat, greasy face at any SCS City Council meeting. "Hello, Fraser!"

Enjoy!

Marty Prehn's Waterloo!

Parting laugh: Sarcasm and satire apparently isn't entirely wasted on Marty. Then again, he is pretty delusional...

Oh, that Mongoose.

"Piece of Shit!"

Gotta love those folks in the Hamlet!

Marty's Latest Sinkhole is Revolting! (pun intended)

Image Courtesy of F.A.I.R. ©

Welcome back both old and new CoMmies!

It's an exciting time here at CoM as Marty continues to make an ass out of himself on an hourly basis in Fraser. Even after four years I'm still amazed at just how stupid Marty Prehn really is. I've really come to appreciate Elder Dawg's own little catch phrase: "MARTY WOW". Unfortunately for Marty, his own saying does a wonderful job of summarizing his complete idiocy. Marty Wow, indeed!

As the "Fracas in Fraser" really starts to heat up, it's becoming more and more unpleasant for a fat imbecile to wake up in Roseville every morning with the name Marty Prehn. The Fraser sinkhole is tiny in comparison to the hole Marty is digging for himself. The Special Ed Agent just keeps exposing himself as the idiot, fraud, and morally corrupt loser we've come to love here at CoM. The Mongoose loves to say we are liars or we defame, slander, and intimidate him on this site but, damn Marty, who could seriously make this crap up? Other than maybe you of course.

As a literal dump truck load of skeletons are uncovered in all the closets of the Boarding House of the Stars, Marty still can't make himself shut up and go away. I guess the lure of free food is so strong for him, no amount of embarrassment can suppress his superhero appetite. I guess there is no mental price too high to pay for free pasta and unlimited bread sticks at Olive Garden or a burger at the Ram's Horn. Marty, for all of the shame this is bringing you, I sure hope that burger came with cheese ($.50 extra for the idiots who bought it for you).

Now it appears that The People's Mayor has arraigned for the next proverbial kick to the sweaty groin of the Mongoose. Thomas LaDuke has invited a previous Marty scam target to appear on his wildly popular and entertaining show, Bourbon on the Rocks. Not only did Erica Hammel agree to be on the program, she immediately began to expose Marty the liar on the F.A.I.R. Facebook page. The screen shots of Marty's lie filled messages to Erica where absolutely priceless!  You just can't buy a ticket to entertainment like this.

The Fracas in Fraser has now spun out of control for Marty and it's really just getting started. Can the promise of dinner at the Green Lantern keep Elder Avenger coming back for more? The short answer is yes. Honestly, Marty would endure the embarrassment he's getting for a can of Vienna sausage's and a box of Twinkies.

The Seduction

His life really couldn't get much worse and he's really that hungry. Marty has no shame, conscious, morals or any other trait that might make him think twice about what he does. The world hates Marty and he hates it right back so he might as well get some free food in the deal.

I may just be selfish but, I really look forward to the days ahead because I know Marty will continue to supply us with entertainment. Let's all hope the Fosters keep feeding this idiot because it really does bring out his best stupidity. While the fun continues we would love to hear from everyone who's watching. Marty reads here all day long so feel free to leave him a comment. That's where the real fun is!

Love and kisses,

Johnny

"It's Coming, Boy!"

And you thought that fat bastard was sweating last week...

Stay tuned, CoMmies. Gonna be epic and of Mongoose proportions!

Point of Order: Shup Up, Dumbass!

Good times are here again CoMmies! The quantity of Marty "The Mongoose" Prehn stupidity always seems to peak when that idiot finds a city council meeting to look foolish in front of. Marty is at his idiotic pinnacle when he has a microphone and a captive audience at his disposal. The topic at hand is never important to Marty, it's all about the chance to further his own agenda. Thankfully, the Fraser city council managed to force the Mongoose to stay on topic last night which means, Marty was left with nothing to say.

After Monday's special meeting of the Fraser council, where Marty once again managed to inject his fat head where it didn't belong, I might have been just a little judgmental about the citizens of Fraser. I felt that maybe enough hadn't been done to shut up the worlds biggest idiot. Well, things sure did change at last nights meeting!

Marty arrived at the council meeting so ready to lie, slander, and generally spew complete stupidity, he felt the need to bring a lawyer with him. Although, in my humble opinion and belief, no lawyer that has Marty Prehn and Denny McLain as his top clients should be attempting to practice law anywhere other than traffic court. Hey Barry, did you and Denny get that $7,000 bill for the legal fees of your last target paid yet? But, I digress. Marty was ready to follow the script written for him by various unnamed individuals from Fraser who obviously didn't realize what a moronic loser they were paying to do their dirty work. These people should have known that anyone willing to be their stooge just for the cost of a couple of late night dinners isn't a highly qualified Special Agent. You get what you pay for I guess.

Anyway, as Marty finally was able to take a seat in front of the microphone and begin his latest verbal assault on someone, he was suddenly interrupted by the words "point of order" being called out by a council member. That did not bode well for the imbecile because all of Marty's talking points were way off of the topic of the meeting. Even the cries of Marty's ambulance chaser were cut off by the Fraser city attorney. Marty's own puppet master, Joe Nichols, was even forced to agree with the city attorney and Marty wasn't allowed to veer off the only subject he was legally allowed to speak about. Of course, this left Marty with nothing to say and his public comments ended quickly. Something tells me there was no celebratory dining at the Ram's Horn last night but, the odds there were two burger kings at the White Castle instead are quite high.

Where the Fraser council found a muzzle big enough to fit over Marty's mouth and huge second chin I'll never know but, I don't really care. It worked to perfection. Then it was time for the fun to begin. Using a tactic from the Mongoose extermination guide, the citizens of Fraser began their assault on the repugnant rodent. Several people decided to speak about Marty and point out he really has no business trying to involve himself in the politics of a city he has no interest in. One woman was also nice enough to point out that Marty is a stalker who was seen photographing license plates in the parking lot during the meeting. It's quite telling there was no "point of order" calls while these people were speaking. Funny how that works, huh Marty.

Now that I've rambled on like a Mongoose with cable public access at his disposal, I need to wrap this report up. In closing I need to give KUDOS and credit to the great citizens of Fraser for shutting the Mongoose (and his lawyer) down. It was obvious the sane majority of the Fraser city council had been educated on how to shut Marty up. It's was even better to see people stand up and expose Marty for what he really is. It's also becoming clear that "The People's Mayor" has a few qualified operatives working with him as well. I'm starting to think Mr. LaDuke is a closet CoMmie. There were even a couple of Special Agents in the audience last night. Those hats make them just as much an agent as Marty is!

In closing, once again I commend the people of Fraser. We here at CoM called you out and you responded in force. Great job! The war is not over yet but the end is getting closer.

 DBD!

PS: Forget about Ram's Horn after the meeting. Stick to the credo!

Like a Whore in the Church to the Stars!

The time-lapse is Priceless!

Starts the evening just mildly offensive:

And then it's all downhill...

It's Coming, Boy!

And you Fraser people think that a little sewage water in your basements smells bad. Count your blessings.

Special Agents are Everywhere!

$39.80 for two, or a Leadership Table of ten for $398.

Extra for cheese...

Stay tuned, CoMmies. We're still reviewing the lunacy of the past few days, so check back often.

Your faithful Special Editor,

JT

"How Does He Do That?"

Dejected Mongoose!

The photo that shook the world this morning and all of Southeast Michigan collectively laughed!

Who wants to bet on what he wears tomorrow at the Fraser City Council meeting? Will he mention being the Guardian Angel of the late Glen Campbell? Will he be selling tickets to a "Rhinestone Unity Dinner and Country Hoedown"?

Personally, I see a "Dejected Mongoose", but feel free to provide your own caption below in the comments.

Mongoose 7, Ramblers 0

Gentle readers of Fraser Michigan;

You people are lightweights.

You obviously haven't done your homework and thoroughly read the years of research that this blog provides. A cursory glance at a few recent articles just doesn't give you the proper insight into the diseased mind of a Mongoose.

You see, folks, Marty wins whenever he can get any media attention, whatsoever. Probably the worst part is that anyone who watched WXYT tonight now believes that Marty Prehn is a representative of your community - maybe even a respected member of your society.  For all you know, he's printing up new business cards with 48026 on them. We've seen it before. After tonight, he doesn't just have his cloven hoof in the door, he has half of his piss-soaked pant leg in there and working on the other one!

The game isn't over, but you apparently don't realize what you're up against and you've got to step it up, damnit! Cast this evil demon from your peaceful village and back to the Bowels of Hell that is the Lair! 

"Mongoose, I beseech thee, return to that from whence you squatted!"

Sorry for the tough love routine, but Marty Prehn in your community is far worse than any sewage backing up into your basements from that sinkhole. And the smell... Oh, the smell. Those new benches at Stephens Park will have to be destroyed once they're caked with Mongoose butt cheese and your playground for your children, Fort Fraser, will become his imaginary Command Post, much like he attempted with the Roseville Georgian Inn. Imagine a world where it's commonplace to see Marty Prehn washing out his only pair of filthy underwear in the goldfish pond of your beloved bank building...

You've given him a beachhead in this war and his spoils are your reputations and livelihoods.

Think of your property values, people. Think of your adolescent daughters!

Heed our advice or may God have mercy on your souls.

Tut

Dirty Picture Surfaces on Internet - Initiates Recall of Mayor!

"It's Coming, Boy!"

Nothing good ever comes from meeting Marty Prehn - even accidentally. Those dirty clothes would make a maggot puke. Personally, I'd be concerned about body lice just waiting to jump ship to get some fresh air.

It's the Curse of the Mongoose. There's no escape, not even in death.

Like a Terminator from a future of stupidity robots, he just keeps going.

And before someone suggests building a wall around Fraser, he burrows and likes crawling in dirt. You should see what he sleeps on...

Trust us, we are professionals.

Reality/Fact Check on Marty

As a public service to residents of Fraser, and any other metro Detroit city, here is a partial list of people you should contact about Marty Prehn. Most people on this list Marty has claimed he works closely with on a regular basis. Contact them and see if they'll give you a reference or their opinion about him. 

Michigan Attorney General Bill Schuette

Secretary of State Ruth Johnson

Oakland County Sheriff Michael Bouchard

Oakland County Prosecutor Jessica Cooper

Macomb County Sheriff Anthony Wickersham

Every Police Department in the Detroit area

US Attorney Daniel Lemisch

Michigan FBI

Michigan State Police

Representative Peter Lucido

Michigan Senator Steve Bieda

Eastpointe Mayor Suzanne Pixley

Fraser Mayor Joe Nichols

POTUS Donald Trump

Reverend Jessie Jackson

"Hot-N-Ready" Private Investigator Carey Torrice 

Kerri Kasem and the Kasem Cares Foundation 

NASGA

Jamie Cook, Macomb Daily


Americans Against Abusive Probate Guardianship

Dr Sam Sugar

Rich Black

That's just a few that come to mind. This list could take all day if I continue. It might also be very interesting to see what either of Marty's ex wives might have to say about him. Or I'm sure siblings would give you an earful about his various lies. Perhaps you could also send a letter to his son c/o Michigan Department of Corrections, Prisoner #719487.

Happy Hunting to all the new CoMmies out there!

"And that's why we love Fraser... "

P.S.  I have a new favorite drink CoMmies, it's BOURBON ON THE ROCKS! You really should give it a try. 

Bourbon on the Rocks

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE!

Work that case, Mongoose!

Unbridled Stupidity.

Hard to believe that this idiot can sit up and take nourishment several times a day.

Marty Makes An Ass Of Himself, Again

The world's biggest idiot just can't stop himself!

Fraser Prepares for a Mongoose Infestation!

A hearty CoM welcome to all of our new readers!

As the foremost authority on all things Marty,  it's somewhat humbling to see so many people taking an interest in this blundering idiot.  I'm willing to bet that you've never encountered another rodent anywhere near as moronic or nasty as this one. Today I'll do my best to point out the known tactics of this nuisance and how to best rid yourself of a Mongoose Infestation. Trust me, you don't want one in your town. Kinda like pubic lice, but without the glitz and glamour!  

And you people thought that the sinkhole was the worst that could happen. Tsk tsk...

I've seen many residents of Fraser asking how they were unfortunate enough to suffer a Mongoose infestation. There's a simple explanation for the arrival of this disgusting and odoriferous vermin. It's naturally drawn to television news crews or reporters. I'm sure everyone noticed Marty standing in the background while people were being interviewed for the local nightly news. That's the burning instinct of the Mongoose. Make sure you're in camera view at all cost! The lure of the news crew is so strong on the Mongoose, he once chased a news van all over Metro Detroit after a storm so he could be interviewed as a storm damage expert, calling every station to try to give an on-air report! No one answered and he went back home to his hotplate and Dinty Moore. Hell, that's how this asshole found you in the first place. Having no family or friends to celebrate Christmas Eve with, the loser went sewer hopping in hopes of being on the news! 

There are several sure signs your town has become a nesting area for the Mongoose. Speaking in front of your city council talking more about his own delusions of self importance than the issue he's supposedly interested in. Hanging around as close to news crews as possible. Spewing baseless crap about people involved in the issue that brought the media there in the first place. Claiming he's an expert on the subject even though it's obvious he's absolutely clueless on the subject. Dropping as many names of elected official and celebrities as possible while claiming to be "good friends" with them. And most importantly, taking credit for things he had absolutely nothing to do with. Here's a recent example:

Once you realize your city hall has been infested by this vile creature,

 the most important rule to remember is this: Never, under any circumstance, do you feed the Mongoose. I promise you, not only will he bite the hand that fed him, he'll include their children, distant relatives, friends, and employers.

I'm sure by now you're thinking: "Oh No! We're infested, now what do we do?" Fear not, my new friends in Fraser, hope is not lost. Even though your embattled mayor is providing plenty of food for this rodent, he can still be stamped out. Just like a cockroach in your kitchen, the Mongoose will flee when you turn the light on and expose him. And with Marty, there is plenty to expose. The truth about him is the brightest light of all. Marty has told so many lies that he can't possibly back up, picking them apart is child's play.

As an experience Mongoose Elimination Expert, I'll try to arm you with the tactics needed to run this rodent off. You must shine the light on  him at the place he's most strongly drawn to, televised city council meetings. Marty can't resist the urge to speak in front of cameras so this is where he's most vulnerable. You have to use stealth when getting ready to expose him. Marty will attempt to wait until he's going to be the last speaker so no one can follow him and point out his idiocy. So, be patient! Don't get in position to speak until after Marty has committed himself and gone to the podium before you. If he doesn't know who else might be speaking, he also can't make a preemptive strike before they get the chance.

Arm yourselves with the truth about this rodent. If he claims to be an elder advocate, point out his treatment of his mother. Also a good time to mention Florence Iverson - trust me. If he claims Reagan had the Berlin Wall torn down as a favor to Marty for his father, point out no U.S. official would go out of their way to appease a former Nazi soldier. If he calls for a "forensic audit", ask why when the probate court that was handling his mother's case asked him for financial records of where his parent's money went, he took a contempt of court charge instead of complying. 

When he claims to be an experienced, but non-specific 

"Special Agent" of some sort with a yet to be named three letter agency, ask him where he bought that ratty hat. "Good friends" with government officials? Ask what proof he has other than campaign rally photo bomb pictures posted on Facebook. Maybe ask Carey "Hot N Ready" Torrice about Marty claiming that "being her bodyguard was the best job he ever had", with the requisite sexual innuendo. Ask other city councils and mayors about the times he infested their city hall. Ask all of his "media friends" if he's the reason they are covering the news in your town. Better yet, ask Peter Lucido if Marty is helping him draft legislation in Michigan and why he allows Marty to post his crap on his Facebook page.

In order to save enough bandwidth for comments, I'll wrap this report up. In short, my Fraser friends, be aware of the Mongoose but don't be afraid. Marty can be very ferocious and there is no depth he won't sink to, as he knows no shame. But there is no need to fear him. His below average intelligence, along with his constant grandiose delusions about himself, makes it easy to expose him as the worthless, powerless loser he really is. Educate yourselves and you'll have no problems pointing out what a lying ass he really is. Actually, most of the time, he points it out himself. Read just about any random page of this blog - it's Mongoose Kryptonite!

"Now the healing needs to begin."

God speed.

Tuttle

PS: Be sure to stop by the CoM booth at this weekend's fair and browse our gift shop, featuring CoM T-shirts and Mongoose Signature Collection© Lunchboxes!

Mongoose on the Loose in Fraser!

Greetings to all of our new readers from Fraser, Michigan, the latest city to have a rodent infestation!

Saint Clair Shores - √
Eastpointe - √
Berkley - √
Roseville - √
Fraser - Welcome!

We haven't had so many new readers since people actually lined up at the podium to complain about Marty Prehn at a Saint Clair Shores Council Meeting!

By all means, review our previous articles if you're looking to immerse yourself in the complete Mongoose Experience! It's a wild ride...

Meanwhile, you can look forward to seeing Marty at every council meeting until they carry him out, kicking and screaming about his constitutional rights and dropping names of every elected official in the country!

Enjoy!

Your humble tour guide,

John Tuttle

Marty Where? Eh, Who Gives a Shit.

Happy Slurpee Day, fellow CoMmies! 

Thanks for your continued support of this blog, especially the paying members of our exclusive Chronicles of Marty - Insider page.

Even as Marty reports us to Google on a daily basis, we're still here laughing at the idiocy that is Marty "The Mongoose" Prehn. 

Sorry, Marty. As long as you're a lying dumb ass, we'll be here! You can also keep reporting us to Yahoo, Facebook and AT&T, too! Damn, are you stupid.

There hasn't been much to report about Elder Dawg lately because honestly, Marty hasn't done anything worth mentioning. He's been so busy posing as an advocate of whatever is trending in the news to his adoring fake friends on Facebook who've never met him, he hasn't had time for worthless threats or fake events. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before we see more of what we've become accustomed to with Marty: Complete bullshit and grandiose lies. "It's coming, Boy!"

Other than Marty's tearful address to the Fraser City Council, complete with framed picture of an idiot photo bombing

How indeed. Retard.

a presidential candidate in the early 80's and a ratty, lice-infested Special Agent hat dropped on the podium, the only news to report is the deactivation of Marty's Facebook page. I honestly don't know why Marty deactivated his Facebook page but, just like everyone else in the world, I don't care and neither does his adoptive mother nor the Notorious Chism Brat Gang. The best part is that if anyone wonders where he went, they take to the search engines and, like magic, a new CoMmie is born! Thanks, Mongoose!

Maybe Marty finally found something to live for other than Facebook. Nah.

Is Marty trying to hide from someone? Like Flo's relatives or Wells Fargo?

Did Mayor Joe or Pete Lucido finally tell Marty to get his lies off their page and it was easier to remove the entire account because of the overwhelming amount of crap he's lied about?

Is Marty just trying out a new Special Ed Agent tactic in an attempt to throw us off his trail? Until he does something about his smell, he's still fairly easy to track. Hell, just follow the McTrash.

I'll wrap this up so our readers will be free to post their own theories in the comments below. Happy Catfish Hunting, CoMmies!

JT

PS: Kasem Cares - about everyone except that repulsive retard in Detroit.

Visually Offensive, Profoundly Stupid and Overwhelmingly Pungent Mongoose

Unreal. Just friggin unreal.

Elder Dawg Rides Again

Greetings CoMmies.

This report is going to be short, sweet and to the point. You don't really need me to point out that Marty Prehn is a lying, worthless, pathetic idiot - that's already a well established fact. The latest Marty crap is just more of the same lies we've seen hundreds of times.

Yes, I saw his long post claiming he's been invited to speak in front of the Michigan legislative house judiciary committee. We all saw it and I'm sure we simultaneously thought the same thing: "Ha! What a load of bullshit!" There is a good reason for that, it's a load of bullshit.

Yes, I saw his great celebratory post claiming Pete Lucido introduced a visitation bill just to fulfill a promise he made Marty. I saw Marty already claiming he would consult Pete and the committee about amendments to this bill. Of course, Marty wasn't smart enough to read that it's not a bill, just an amendment to an existing bill. I guess Marty will be amending the amendment. Marty Wow, you're a lying moron.

Yes, I also saw his claims that he would be inviting Ms. Kasem to speak during the Chism hearing (the same one the dumb ass must have forgotten he wasn't allowed to speak at), and to speak with him in front of a joint session of the Michigan house and senate. Will you be speaking in front of the joint session the same day as your committee testimony, or is that scheduled for another day, Marty? If it's different days, does that mean two separate fundraisers for gas money?

By now, I'm sure all of our usual readers have picked up on the different attitude I have while doing this latest report. Let me attempt to explain my obvious indifference. I've often wondered why people let him continue with his obvious lies. Why don't our new readers in Minnesota speak up about what Marty did to Florence? Why don't the various organizations Marty has attached himself to, that figured out he was a fraud, speak up? Why does Pete Lucido let Marty continue to use his name in his lies? The answer is pretty obvious in my opinion. It doesn't really affect them negatively because they know most people just ignore the village idiot. They aren't concerned about Marty's past and future scam victims because it doesn't reflect badly on them. They really just don't care.

Bottom line is this, CoMmies:

No matter what Marty claims, what lies he tells, who's name he drops, one thing will never change. Marty will be the same worthless, pathetic, attention starved, vindictive, loser tomorrow that he is today and has been for many years. No amount of grandiose lies and claims will ever change that. When Marty dies, he will be alone. No patriot guard escort, no twenty one gun salute, no long eulogy given by celebrities or elected officials, nothing. No one will even notice he is gone. That's because his entire life is nothing more than a Facebook lie.

In Marty's own words:

"I AM WHAT I AM!"

I couldn't agree more, you lying and worthless loser.