Marty Prehn is a Jerk

Thanks for checking in, CoMmies, to get your latest dose of pathetic Mongoose idiocy.

One of our many sources of staying on top of Marty's life long campaign of hate, lying, self promotion and just generally acting all...well, Marty-like, has temporarily been suspended from Facebook - again. Fear not. The Mongoose has discovered a way to update the masses on his current scam:

"Detroit's version of 2 1/2 Men and U.G.L.Y. BETTY. This photo was taken on May 13, 2015 in Eastpointe. At this Crusin' Gratiot fundraiser we formed a non profit called the MVP PRODUCTION COMPANY LLC and will take the lead on addressing the issues of BULLYING, CYBER STALKING, AND SUICIDE PREVENTION AND AWARENESS. In this photo are 1968 DETROIT TIGER WORLD SERIES CHAMPION PITCHER DENNY MCLAIN (31-6), JAMIE VICTORY, HEY U.G.L.Y. PRESIDENT AND CO-FOUNDER BETTY HOEFFNER and myself MARTY PREHN, NATIONAL ELDER ADVOCATE, THE ELDER AVENGER, ELDERDAWG and MARTY THE MONGOOSE. Get ready for UNITY DAY at Comerica Park as we the people put the UNITY back in the communities of the City of Detroit. Watch for the event page this week. It will take a team effort to get this done and yes it is DOABLE. I need 1,000 likes for this post to get the event going. Please like and share with your fb friends and family and get them to like as well. Let's get busy. Going to meet with the biggest and the baddest man in the whole Damn town or is that Downtown. He is bigger than old King Kong and meaner than a junkyard dawg but has a heart of gold and compassion for others, Minister Malik Shabazz. I will see you there today 6-28-2015 my brother at Puritan and Wyoming to discuss UNITY DAY at COMERICA PARK next month."

Marty may have been suspended from posting his word vomit, but apparently figured out that he still has the ability to change his profile picture and edit any existing comment that is attached to said picture. Eureka! No longer bound by chains of a cheap flip phone, he can now continue to propagate his crazy schemes. Can't keep an Elder Dawg down. There's an entire city full of new marks that have yet to be exposed to a fat scammer from the suburbs, and, damnit, Marty's gonna find them. He's taking advantage of his vacation from posting lies and hate by "friending" everyone and everything south of Eight Mile Road. In sales, they call it "prospecting". "Surely someone in that ghetto has Paypal?"

As he always has in the past, as soon as Marty's suspension ends, he'll start ranting that his "cyber stalkers" had Facebook suspend him again. He's just too stupid to realize comments like the screen shot below just aren't allowed on Facebook:

I fear that this latest suspension is really going to put a dent in all of MVP Production's upcoming great events. How will Marty sell tickets to his upcoming trifecta of fake events? That great Detroit Tiger's retirement party already scheduled for Aug 15th at his parent's cottage is in jeopardy. How will Marty also update us on the locations for MVP's various summer camps with all the major sports leagues that were announced recently? When are these camps going to be held? My kids were really looking forward to whatever Marty's cause of the week was. How will they get Lebron's and Verlander's autographs now? Maybe Jamie Victory's parents will let him update the public on their Facebook page. Probably not.

The worst part of this latest Elder Dawg suspension was the timing. It happened the day of the Eastpoint Cruise. Marty not being able to take all the credit for the cruise, not to mention all the exaggerated lies he was sure to add on Facebook, must have been shear Mongoose Hell. It makes me picture a child receiving a great new toy on Christmas morning, but not having batteries to put in it. Just the latest kick to Marty's ass from life, I guess. All that hard work sitting around acting like a big shot talking at his phone, gone to waste.

This latest development is really the story of Marty's life. No matter what Marty comes up with or tries, he's going to lose. Sometimes I think Marty is living proof that karma really does exist. He's a loser, will always be a loser and we'll be right here laughing as he continues to make a complete ass of himself. Until you can post again Marty, I'll just say we're really going to miss your daily moronic blather. Maybe you should write down all the stupidity you think up in the next month so you can speak it into your phone for Facebook.

Meanwhile, rest assured, CoMmies, our fans and contributors are so close to Marty that they need to shower as soon as they get home.

The best is yet to come. Stay tuned...

Marty Prehn Hits Laziness Nirvana!

Gentle CoMmies;

Your favorite blog, The Chronicles of Marty, has gone high tech!

That's right. We no longer have to wait on Marty's sausage fingers to type his lies and hate. Thanks to voice recognition and MetroPCS having a sale, we are now tapped directly into Marty's idiotic stream of consciousness, as he can now entertain us by simply blathering every evil thought that pops in his fat head and posting it directly to Facebook.

Laziness of this magnitude does have it's drawbacks. The accuracy of his lies and inaccuracies suffer in the translation, but when has that ever stopped him?:

"Marty Prehn
I am having to get used to talking into this phone to do my text messages but that is the greatest pitcher that there ever was. And then I can always have an ambulance come and pick you up so you could be in the parade just let me know if your got C or if you're in that much pain I understand but I think would be great for you to at least be in the parade with me and people see the greatest baseball pitcher that there ever was. Of course we can always have a parade for you once you're inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame which hopefully will happen in the near future you deserve it so does bill for him I see his son is has been picked up by the by the Detroit Tigers for the farm club that's great news.
Like · 1 · More · Jun 16 at 7:57am"

His unending litany of lies and hate are overwhelming our staff.  There are so many to choose from we've had to hire a couple of temps just to weed through the Gratiot Cruise nonsense. This particular one-sided exchange caught our eye, as it captures the true essence of Marty and his inability to think of anyone but himself, and to a lesser extent, his current man-crush, Denny McLain:

"Minister Malik Shabazz
8 hrs ·
... Lastly but certainly not least August, 2014, 17 year old Aundrea Garland was mudered by criminals with a AK 47, shot 3 times & BLED 2 DEATH ON THE STREET LIKE A HOG ! This 17 year old child was a Honor Student that was Graduated by her School posthumously. She was innocent. We believe that there is a tie-in to the murder of a Rapper & his girlfriend @ East Land Mall last year & possibly 7 other murders r connected.... Aundrea's mom has been recieving DEATH THREATS 4 POSTING UP CRIME STOPPER FLYERS/JUSTICE Sunday, 6-21-2015 @ 2:30 pm 16651 Edmore Btwn Cushing & Shakespeare Det MI 48205. We will Pray, Rally march throughout the neigborhood, go Door 2 Door, hit Intersections & Businesses. We will also have a Love Offering 4 the mother as we MUST FIND A NEW PLACE 4 HER 2 LIVE! Please Instagram, FB, Tweet, Email Text but most of all COME OUT & PARTICIPATE ! For Detroit Love In Action! 313-646-3375, 313-718-6008 1-800-SPEAK-UP ! THE CRIME STOPPERS
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Marty Prehn likes this.
Marty Prehn
Minister Malik Shabazz let's talk tomorrow about a Unity night at Comerica Park on Friday July 17 when the Tigers play the Baltimore Orioles with fireworks afterwards. 1 586 563 0989 and the renaming of Roosevelt Park to the Roosevelt UNITY Park and I have some other ideas to make the city sparkle and get national media attention.
Like · 1 · More · 5 hours ago
Marty Prehn
We need to get John Roach, Alexis Wiley, Mayor Duggan, Tom Wilson and the Illitch family on board to honor 2 Detroit Sports Legends Bill Freehan and Denny McLain. Let's get this done.
Like · 1 · More · 5 hours ago
Marty Prehn
Let's have a press conference and get the media involved and Crime Stoppers.
Like · 1 · More · 5 hours ago
Marty Prehn
And the PEPSI company is already a sponsor that night.
Like · 1 · More · 5 hours ago
Marty Prehn
Looking to get CHEVROLET, FORD, CHRYSLER involved as sponsors as well.
Like · 1 · More · 5 hours ago
Marty Prehn
I will see if I can attend on Sunday my friend.
Like · More · 1 hour ago"

So, we have a black minister, outraged by the violent death of a young woman, attempting to raise money for the decedent's mother and do something positive for the community.  Marty, however, hijacks the Facebook thread and turns it into another one of his circus acts. Four hours later, he realizes that no one took the bait and offers to possibly stop by the original event. Right. Only if he can be assured that a news crew with a camera will be there.  Same story, different day. If nothing else, Marty is predictable.

This is one of maybe thousands of similar inappropriate posts by Marty - just this week! And he does it without being burdened by a pesky keyboard to deal with. He just sits there and spews like Teddy Ruxpin on crack!  Picture Stephen Hawkings, but void of anything resembling intelligence.

A fat, stupid, incredibly lazy, hate filled liar.

Marty Gives His Smartphone a Workout

Marty Prehn: Caged Mongoose Unleashed!

I'd like to start this article with a heartfelt and very sincere thank you to the Blog Gods and MetroPCS for allowing Marty Prehn to finally own a smart phone! In doing so, we've been provided with a seemingly endless supply of Mongoose stupidity. I'm so grateful, I think I may cry... we are truly blessed.

Marty can now use his shiny new Samsung to troll the Internet for crap to post night and day. With the constant flow of idiocy from the moronic Mongoose, it's become a challenge to pick which Marty Moment to cover here. I think I'll highlight Marty's complete obsession with the individual Marty routinely calls Flemshady. The comments on an idiotic meme picture Marty shared began with this:

"Marty Prehn
Congratulations flem Shady you finally won an award
Like · 1 · More · 4 hours ago

Marty Prehn
Carla do you remember his real name?
Like · More · 4 hours ago"

These comments are posted under a picture about "Asshole Awareness Day" that Marty shared. Marty is calling Flemshady an asshole here but he's obviously afraid to say Sean's name. That's why his second comment is asking his repulsive Florida stooge if she remembers Sean's real name. He needs Carla to post the name so he can later claim he didn't do it. The plan was in play. But when?

Carla must have been too busy harassing any person of Arab decent in Plant City FL, or posting more racial spew on Facebook because she doesn't chime in with the name Marty wants posted. As is Marty's typical Sunday pattern, loneliness must kick in and he can't wait any longer to continue his harassment. Marty then makes this comment:

"Marty Prehn
SEAN D. FLEMING
Like · More · 1 hour ago"

Marty is such a bad ass. He finally got brave enough to say Flemshady's name and called him an asshole.  This man and his unthinkable bravery and overall intelligence never cease (and desist) to amaze me. And I don't mean that in a good way, you chicken shit dumb ass!

After a brief pause, Marty feels the need to continue his attack on Sean. I don't know what provoked Marty into attacking Flemshady once again but when has Marty ever needed a reason to start harassing someone? Here is his next batch of stupidity:

"Marty Prehn
Kurt A Hesse WE need to talk about the cyber stalking legislation as law enforcement refuses to address this issue regarding MCL 760.11 abd I am more than willing to come and testify about my cyber stalkers and see tgat they get prosecuted as aggrevated stalkers and be sentenced to 5 years or more. Go to the Marty Prehn Chronicles and see the lies, slander, harassment and threats that have been made against me and others by Sean D. Fleming and his other anonymous friends.
Like · 2 · More · 55 minutes ago"

This comment is another great example of the lies Marty will tell to try to stop his exposure on this blog and just generally make an ass of himself. All we do here is point out his lies, laugh at his threats and stupidity, and generally make fun of his claims of greatness. It's not cyberstalking if it's not sent to you and you come here and read it several times a day. I'd love for Marty to just once point out anywhere on this blog where he is lied about, slandered or threatened. We know you won't do this Marty because, well, it's just not here. This blog merely boils down your hatred and lies into one simple and easy to read location. And we have far more regular readers than all of your fake friends put together. Good luck with your threats of RICO lawsuits, handcuffs and prison sentences, you idiot.

The next quart of bile Marty spews is one of his best in his brief smartphone stupidity marathon. Here is the latest load of crap from Marty:

"Marty Prehn
This guy Shaundi Fleming filed at PPL against me once you found out that the Madison Heights Police Department recommended that I get a PPL against him and we went before Judge Lisa Corsica in Oakland County and she put him on notice that if he continued his activity that she would have a court hearing with a jury and sentenced him for aggravated stalking for up to five years apparently he doesn't believe her and so I want to help make a believer out of him I have the court transcripts and I will get together with you and get a copy for you so you could see what was said and what needs to be done to get lawn forcement to enforce these anti cyber stalking laws because the kids in the high school especially are being bullied and the school administrators are washing their hands of the issue and even like using the victim of doing something to provoke these people and to harassing them which is foolish.
Like · 1 · More · 46 minutes ago"

In this comment it appears Marty is trying to claim the recent PPO hearing between him and Sean was one sided. Everyone knows that this just isn't true. Marty was also warned to stop harassing Sean or he would be charged with a felony. I have seen the transcript from this hearing and I can't see what is in it that would make law enforcement change any of their policies. I did see in it where Marty perjured himself more than once. If only he could pretend to be a fraction as smart as his phone, he'd keep the lid on that transcript. And I have to ask this: What does the court transcript have to do with high school bullying? I think being banned from all Lakeview Alumni functions has hit him harder than he lets on. It's the 70's all over again and he's having flashbacks from his entire school hating his guts. "Nobody likes me, nobody cares so I'm gonna eat some Crisco..."

The last comment on this post is classic Mongoose bullshit. Here is Marty's last statement on his post:

"Marty Prehn
I work with legislators and Senators on both sides of the isle and so I don't think you would be proud problem getting this revised legislation done on the cyber stalking so that we can put an end to this bowling that's going on in the schools that are causing kids to commit suicide this epidemic has got to stop.
Like · 1 · More · 45 minutes ago"

Marty just can't help but lie about his great influence with the Michigan government. His claim that he has "been working both sides of the isle on this issue" is hilarious. We know the only isle Marty works both sides of is at the Roseville Golden Corral. Nobody in the Michigan government cares at all about Marty, most have never even heard of him and the two that have consider him the village idiot.

I'll close this article by asking a favor from our beloved moron muse:

PLEASE take Sean back in front of the judge. Your only complaint about Flemshady is your claim he runs this blog. You even claimed you had IP addresses to prove it. We both know that's a huge lie that you can't prove, and more importantly, it's abundantly obvious that Fleming's writing style is, how can I put this, somewhat unique. Going back in front of that judge would be the biggest mistake of your worthless and wasted life.  Just make sure you get the right judge - it's Lisa Gorcyca - not Corsica - you moron!

Please go Marty, PLEASE!

Marty Prehn's Tools of the Idiot Trade

Good times are here again, CoMmies! There has been a great new development with the biggest idiot the world has ever seen. Apparently Marty's high tech government flip phone finally bit the dust recently. I'm sure the remains of the Mongoose Special Agent flip is currently in route to the Smithsonian for future public display. There couldn't possibly be a more important artifact in the history of our great country. Think of how many heads of state, elected officials, pizza delivery drivers and phone sex operators that phone has called collect! History, my dear friends. History, indeed.

Some here might be wondering why I'm so happy Marty has finally caught up to the technical abilities of your average 12 year old. Think about how easy it will be for the Mongoose to now post his lies, photobombs, worthless threats, name drops, and overall complete stupidity! We'll have months of new entertainment for all of our loyal readers. We're already counting the anticipated advertising revenue from Google!

Marty has wasted no time in getting started spewing his idiocy. As soon as he got his sausage fingers on his new phone, he began filling Facebook with his lies and threats. There are already so many, I couldn't possibly cover them all. But let the hilarity begin!

"Marty Prehn
My sadness turned to joy as I received a really nice phone that ties in with my work as a Special Agent and a Committee member of the best Damn Cruise on Gratiot. They even have my code name engraved in silver on the front face of the phone and starts to tell the last karaoke song that I had done. It reads in abbreviated letters SPECIAL AGENT MARTIN or SAM and the last song I had sung before my passing."

As if this one comment alone isn't enough to laugh for days about, there is so much more. I won't bother commenting about this moronic spew because there are other great examples of how full of crap the Elder Dawg is. Take this comment as Exhibit A.:

"Marty Prehn
With my new phone I can send photos of my Memorial Day project which turned into a 9 day sabbatical up in heaven which by the way is 183.5 miles from Detroit.
Like · 1 · More · 8 hours ago

Marty Prehn
I put together the Michigan Headquarters For The Michigan chapter of the HEY U.G.L.Y. 501C3 AND THE international headquarters for the MVP PRODUCTION COMPANY AND the Roscommon County offices for constituents relations for The Governor of Michigan Rick Snyder, the Michigan Attorney General Bill Schuette, the Michigan Secretary of State Ruth Johnson and the office of Mid Michigan Chapter of Crime Stoppers and my friend and State Representative Pete Lucido."

For the first time in my short career, Marty has filled one statement with so much bullshit, I'm speechless. A new 501c3 charity, international headquarters for MVP productions, state offices for elected officials. I'm in Marty stupidity overload. If these statements are any indication of things to come, this job just got even easier. I can't even bring myself to post the latest Mongoose threats and insults aimed at Flemshady. It's just more than this reporter can take.

Before I pass out from laughing at how stupid Marty continues to make himself look, I'll close this article with a comment of Marty's that I have a question about:

"Marty Prehn
Carla what is the name of that Florida bird that has that big pouch for a neck and gobbles fish and stores the fish in that pouch? Look at some photos of Flem Shady And Tell Me That He Does Not Look Like A Fricken PELICAN with severe acme problem."

I have to ask Marty this final question. Is that thing where your chin is supposed to end what you're referring to in that comment?

Thanks for the laughs, you mindless twit. I am so looking forward to what you come up with next, you moron...