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| Co-Grand Marshals, Marty Prehn and some black lady. |
Spring has sprung, CoMmies!
As the buds form on the trees and temps begin to rise, we all know what the end of winter signals. It's the season for lies and fake events to come forth from the Mongoose!
Now is the time, the time is now for the yearly Elder Dawg traditional upcoming events announcement.
This year's Summer of the Mongoose might be a bit different than years gone by. As Marty's life has been in a death spiral once again, his grandiosity - and funding - might be a little lacking. With the recent long-term incarceration of Jr, combined with the loss of his adoptive Polish mother and biggest successful scam, Marty is left with no one to beg to support him. For the first time in his pathetic, freeloading life, Marty is having to attempt to support himself. The odds of him successfully doing this are not in his favor. Nothing is.
The last couple of years, Marty's place on the Eastpointe Cruise committee guaranteed him a prime hijack opportunity. We saw the cruise renamed several times into things like Cruisin' to stop the Bruisin' or the Dan Haggerty Memorial Cruise. The Mongoose was able to use his only skill, the ability to lie with no shame, to pretend the cruise was his personal event. Various name changes, reserved spots with tents in the median, inviting people to ride with him, announcing whichever charity he was attempting to scam as the benefactor. Marty was in bullshitter heaven.
After the Eastpointe Mayor and Cruise Committee could no longer stand the lying idiot, Marty was given the boot. The Mongoose was undeterred and decided he would just hijack the Roseville Cruise instead. He even announced his "Unity Cruise on the New Route 66". It just happened to be on the same day as the Roseville Cruise. Then tragedy struck Elder Dawg. Roseville decided to cancel their cruise and no amount of begging by Marty could change their mind. Now that Marty is banned from the cruise in Eastpointe, and Roseville is no longer having one, suddenly we never heard another mention of Marty's Unity Cruise. Looks like the Mongoose won't be doing any cruise hosting this year, unless he goes solo. He's that good. Experienced leader.
Everyone here also knows there can't possibly be a Mongoose Summer without his annual fake hero event. Marty announces some version of this event every year with the exact same results. It doesn't happen and Marty just pretends he never mentioned it. Last year, Marty actually made a little progress in the production of his delusional hero-fest. He managed to get Flo to pay a deposit on a venue so that people could call and confirm the location of Marty's star studded, red carpet affair. Unfortunately, that was as far as he made it which ended up costing Barrister Gardens money. This just adds a complication to Marty claiming he's trying again this year. Word
The worst part of Marty's upcoming Mongoose summer is his Facebook situation. Marty no longer has the audience he needs in order to find enough idiots that will believe him. As of this writing, he only has 131 friends, not the over 4,000 he's had in the past. That's just not enough people that might see his latest lies. With no one to see the lies, what good does it really do to tell them?
Kinda like a tree falling in the woods behind Gilbert's Lodge, eh Marty?
