Friday, September 29, 2017

The Inevitable Cold Shoulder.



Welcome back to the most extensive source of coverage of the biggest blow hard idiot Michigan has ever witnessed, Marty Prehn. After years of watching Moronic Marty use the exact same tactics, make the exact same threats, and display the exact same low IQ, I've accepted the fact that only the current city Marty is making an ass of himself in will change. You'd think by now the Mongoose would figure out that his same old crap is just bringing him more ridicule and insuring he'll remain a loser because nobody will take him seriously.

After years of reporting on Marty, I feel it's become quite easy to figure out what's really going on in his greasy, fat, little head. We here at CoM have predicted what Marty would do next and used his standard Modus Operandi to make him dance like a trained monkey time and again. These "Mongoose senses" are now telling me there has been a change in Marty's Fraser status. The sudden shift of Elder Dawg's leg hiking on Facebook signals the beginning of what always happens: Marty gets the cold shoulder.

I'm sure anyone that's been paying attention to Marty's "advocacy" in Fraser has noticed Marty's tactic change. Stalking people's profiles, sharing their posts, childish insults constantly posted on f.A.I.R., posting about old Fraser scandals that there was no way he could have known about have stopped. Now, he's blocked everyone, quit commenting on F.A.I.R. and returned to posting his Fraser insults on his own page. You know, the page he thinks none of the targets of his insults can see because he blocked them. When you add this to a few other clues it's obvious, in my humble opinion, the Joe Nichols circle jerk club has moved on and no longer want the services of the Special Ed Agent. Let me show you a few of the clues the Mongoose has dropped.

Throughout Marty's Fraser "assignment" he has continuously claimed he wasn't working with the circle jerk, he was merely "protecting the rights" of a couple of Fraser elected officials. Suddenly this week he's thanking certain unnamed people in Fraser for their "love, words of encouragement, and financial support". Why would Marty suddenly start claiming he was being paid to interfere in the politics of a city he has no vested interest in?

You'll also remember, certain members of the circle jerk always seemed to like Marty's Fraser related posts. How long has it been since Joe, Joe's daughter, a Foster, or Doug liked one of Marty's Facebook spews? Don't you wonder why that stopped?

Why has Marty stopped his constant commenting on past Fraser scandals and political history? Is it because his source of information has dried up? No more strategy sessions (free dinner) with the circle jerk powers? Things that make you say Hmmmm.

There is more evidence to justify my theory but I think you get the idea. Now, I'm sure some of our new readers are asking "why doesn't the asshole just move on?"  Let me paint you a word picture to explain:

Imagine you start feeding a stray cat because you have a rodent problem in your backyard. You figure the cat's presence will help with the rodents. After feeding the stray for several weeks you notice that not only has the stray not helped with the problem, in some way it's made the problem worse. You then decide to stop feeding the stray because it's actually worthless and you're just wasting money on cat food. How long do you think that stray will scream on your porch looking for the next free meal? That's what Marty is now doing on Facebook with his Fraser insults and sharing of Doug's posts. He's trying to remind the circle jerk that their stray is hungry.

I'm imagining all the messages from Marty to unnamed "supporters" trying to set up a meeting (free dinner) to discuss his latest info that will "blow the Fraser case wide open". All those messages are now being either ignored or excuses are being made for why people don't have time for him. "I can't Marty, I have to wash my hair." "But Joe, you're bald and I'm really hungry!"

What is now needed is some bait to lure the stray Mongoose away from the porch known as Fraser.
 Does anyone have a spare news van that can be parked at the Sterling Heights city hall?




Monday, September 18, 2017

Behold the Power of The Curse of the Mongoose!



Never fails. Never ever!

At least a lifelong friendship was made and Joe can now have Marty and his camel toe over for swimming...

This doofus was doomed since February 23;



Seriously, how did he think it would turn out? Nothing, absolutely NOTHING can escape the Curse of the Mongoose. Just ask his son on visitation day at Jackson Prison.

No one, absolutely NO ONE is glad they met Marty Prehn.

"How does he do that?"

How does he not? He's Marty Prehn.

PS: You're not in the clear by a long shot, Fraser. He'll be back. It's that "Terminator from a Future of Stupidity Robots" thing...

"Thanks, Mongoose!"


Friday, September 15, 2017

Ramblers: 42 Mongoose: 7



"STOP THE PRESSES!"

The Fraser Tribunal Restraining Order hearing was conducted yesterday morning. Of course, the worlds biggest idiot was sure to be there because press coverage was a given. Oh, and the spectre of a free meal afterwards to celebrate their anticipated victory.

Although this hearing had absolutely nothing to do with Marty, it was very important to him because.. umm... well, I guess because he's so "Martyish". On the heels of looking like a fool with his great 0-10 predictions on the recall petition outcome, this was Marty's next chance to find something to use against all of his "cyberstalkers and man haters" on the F.A.I.R. Facebook page. He antagonized them all week with his newest mantra and battle cry - "INJUNCTION!" I was actually surprised he could spell and understand a new multisyllabic word like that, although I'm not convinced he really does understand it and then there's spell checking built into even the crappiest of phones these days...

At the end of the hearing the judge announced he would give his decision within 24 hours, but apparently Marty could sense it wasn't going to go his man crush's way. After begging for lunch and gas money to get home, Marty immediately changed the subject on his Facebook page and returned to his go-to bullshit - bring up old, irrelevant stuff and start claiming the Feds are going to investigate. This is the standard Mongoose tactic that we've seen for years. Talk out of your ass about a subject you know nothing about, look foolish after the results are in and your prediction was wrong, then pretend you never mentioned it. Reminds me of hundreds of great events Marty has announced. Non-stop hype until "the time is now/now is the time" then, after nothing happens, never another mention of it.

Of course, our keen readers here at CoM knew what the results of the restraining order would be. As with any court issue Marty decides to attend in support of someone, it was DENIED. We refer to it here as the Curse of the Mongoose



Curse of the Mongoose®
Marty is such a loser that anything he is allowed to stick his fat head into is destined to fail miserably. It's been happening for years now and I don't see it changing anytime soon. Marty is just toxic and anyone who willfully associates with him is doomed to join him in Loserville. Don't believe me, just ask Ronnie LaForest or the Chism brats. There are others, but you'll have to do your own homework and read this blog.

At this point, the only remaining question is: Will the Joe Nichols gang finally figure out that as long as they are feeding the Mongoose, they have no hope? If Marty is still hanging around when the tribunal starts Monday, they should just resign and go home because the only result can be additional failure and public scorn. Thanks Elder Dawg! Honestly, I'm pretty sure it's already too late to save themselves from the curse. Plenty of people tried to warn Joe about what associating with Marty will cause. Stupid is as stupid does.

As far as the huge idiot Marty Prehn, he's not going anywhere until he knows he's squeezed every last free meal and photo op out of the situation. It doesn't bother him that Thomas LaDuke makes him look foolish on a daily basis. Marty has looked foolish his entire life and he's completely void of anything resembling self-respect. When the sun comes up tomorrow, he'll still be a repulsive dumbass so what difference does it make who's mocking him today? Dealing with Marty is like feeding a stray cat. Even though you stop putting out food, it keeps coming back looking for another handout. Actually, he's more akin to herpes - without the glitz and glamour.

"How does he do that?"

How indeed.


Thursday, September 14, 2017

"It's Coming, Boy..."


Patience. We're eating dinner and swapping stories with the locals...



JT

8:15 PM Update:

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

"How does he do that?"
Looking at that chair, Marty could be looking at a FELONY charge of his own for destruction of public property...

jt


Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Life's Special Sauce from the Special Agent

Great news, CoMmies!

You too can live a bountiful and spiritually fulfilling life, just like the Mongoose!

Welcome back everyone. As I'm sure anyone who reads here knows, our guilty pleasure is making fun of the idiot known as the Mongoose, aka Martin E. Prehn. While taking a quick glance at the many recent worthless Facebook posts by Marty, I noticed one that made me chuckle a little more than the others. This was posted by Marty just a few days ago:


I couldn't help but think it would be rather entertaining to examine this list and compare it to Marty's real life. As pathetic as the loser Elder Avenger is, there's no way Marty could follow this "Simple Formula for Living".

1. Live beneath your means:

Let's face it, an abandoned resale shop on Gratiot in Roseville is pretty, umm, humbling. Perhaps he should turn his back on this glamorous lifestyle, trading in the Mongoosemobile for a shopping cart and live under a bridge at Gratiot and Rosemary in Detroit. Nah, even the ghetto has it's standards.

2. Return everything you borrow:

Does this include stolen change for gas money or donations received under false pretenses? How about ticket sale funds for fake events? Money from accounts? Slim Jims?

3. Stop blaming other people:

Like blaming your siblings for getting foreclosed on every mortgage you were paying with your parents life savings?

4. Admit when you make mistakes: 

Or just claim you were hacked and someone else made the comment. Phone calls in the middle of the night? Must be an AT&T employee cloned your phone again.

5. Give clothes not worn to charity:

Oh, please. Your average street hobo has newer and certainly cleaner clothes. Don't insult them.

6. Do something nice and try not to get caught:

Or try not to get caught with collection jars that you claim go to charity, but really just finance your beer and pizza.

7. Listen more; talk less:

Really?

8. Every day take a 30 min walk:

If Marty could find a parade or demonstration march with press coverage every day, no problem. Otherwise.....

9. Strive for excellence not perfection:

Just take credit for other's excellence. Next!

10. Be on time, don't make excuses:

The lunch buffet ends at 2:00. I promise you, Marty will be on time. 

11. Don't argue, get organized:

Look at the pictures of his room, he'll never be organized. He's not smart enough to argue with anyone over 7 years old.

12. Be kind to unkind people:

Or, refer to them all as "my cyberstalker from Madison Heights" and threaten them with government investigations, imaginary signed verbal court orders, and federal prison sentences.

13. Let someone cut ahead of you in line:

"Hell no. The obituary said there's a buffet and the family should be mingling with the other mourners!"

14. Take time to be alone:

Naked. With paper towels and Jessica's Facebook page.

15. Cultivate good manners:

Better idea - cultivate some good hygiene.

16. Be Humble:

Even while you are appearing on Ellen, Jimmy Fallon, Dr Phil, Let it Rip, all three television networks simultaneously, or being live-streamed worldwide.

17. Realize and accept life isn't fair:

F.A.I.R.? Accept that you are a loser, idiot, nobody, worthless piece of shit and nobody is ever going to attend your birthday party at Comerica Park no matter how cheap the tickets are. 

18. Know when to keep your mouth shut:

Keep the flies in.

19. Go an entire day without criticizing someone:

Marty is far too bitter to ever be able to do that.

20. Learn from the past. Plan for the future:

If Marty hasn't learned by now that people just laugh at the same old threats he's been using for years, he never will. He plans for the future with every elected official he gets a picture with. "This will prove I'm somebody!" It doesn't and just gives us something to write about.

21. Live in the present:

Is a fantasy Facebook life considered the present?

22. Don't sweat the small stuff:

Based on recent pictures, Marty sweats buckets all the time. Doesn't matter the size of the stuff.

23. It's all small stuff:

I could make a penis joke, but I haven't seen it and doubt Marty has in years. Maybe I'll check with the hobos...



Friday, August 25, 2017

Marty Prehn Gets Fed His Dirty Diaper!



CoMmies, Citizens of Fraser and Law Enforcement personnel throughout the Metro Detroit area (and a special shout-out to Charlie Langton and Simon Shaykhet), welcome back to the Internet's premier and most accurate source of information on the biggest loser on the planet, Marty "The Mongoose" Prehn.

Today is starting to bring back memories of what we here at CoM used to call FunFriday. You see, gentle readers, Marty had a habit of having meltdowns on Friday after he cashed his $80 paycheck at the liquor store and started drinking his Milwaukee's Best. Talk about your Mongoose on the Loose! Idiot.

I have high hopes of a classic Marty Meltdown as Erica Hammel revisits Marty's attempted hijack of her crusade to establish Wyatt's Law, tonight on Bourbon After Dark at 10:00 PM EST. 

For a primer, watch how it went down at the SCS City Council meeting a few years back. Oh, the memories... Good times.



In preparation for Marty's latest exposure as a worthless piece of shit, I encourage everyone to read this past article (red link below) for a little background. 


Be sure to read the comments because they are full of Marty quotes and a few hilarious observations, including from the Wife of the Legendary Doc Chism! Maybe even a Mongoose dropping here and there. 

At the end of the day, Marty was essentially banned from showing his fat, greasy face at any SCS City Council meeting. "Hello, Fraser!"

Enjoy!

Marty Prehn's Waterloo!

Parting laugh: Sarcasm and satire apparently isn't entirely wasted on Marty. Then again, he is pretty delusional...



Oh, that Mongoose.