Marty Prehn Slithers Out of Facebook Prison

Things are better than ever in Marty's pretend Facebook life - and that means things are really great here at CoM! Now that the idiot Mongoose is free to post on Facebook again, we have a fresh supply of stupidity to comment on. I've waded through all of the latest idiocy posted by Marty and decided we would discuss Marty's bread and butter in his joke of a life: The worthless, empty threat.

For the entire time I've been watching Marty, most of his time has been spent threatening whoever he's currently butthurt over. The list is much too long to cover here but, Marty makes baseless legal threats a few times a week. Never in Marty's history have any of his threats or promises come to fruition. It's the exact same result every single time - absolutely nothing happens. Never. Ever! At least Marty the Moron is consistent. We're all still waiting to see some Marty provided fireworks. Our advice: Don't hold your breath.

It's very clear that Marty is still completely obsessed with his self proclaimed "cyber stalker" Sean Fleming. Flemshady appears to have grown bored with the antics of Elder Dawg but Marty continues to chase him like a lover scorned. Here is Marty's latest worthless threat aimed at someone who could really care less about him:

"Marty Prehn

This almost sounds like what Judge Gorcyca told my cyber stalker in court on April 13, 2015. I am going back to her courtroom to have my cyber stalker and his aliases and his anonymous ass's including my deranged sister charged with aggregating stalking, slander and defamation of character. I have retained a well known attorney who specializes in cyber crimes."

I'll pause here to give everyone time to stop laughing at this idiotic statement... 

This comment is another great example of just how full of crap Marty really is. Everyone knows that Marty isn't going anywhere near a courtroom willingly. He told so many lies the last time he was there, he'd be a complete fool to go back, so maybe he actually will. Consider who we're talking about, here. Could Marty really be dumb enough to expose himself to having to answer for any of the numerous lies he told while under oath? I think he is that stupid and I sure hope he does. That would take Mongoose stupidity to a whole new level. How exciting!

The "charges" Marty claims will be pressed is even more hilarious. Marty, please explain to me what "aggregating stalking" is. Maybe you should use that snazzy new smart phone to look up the definition of aggregate. It's obvious you didn't learn what it means at BJU. And while you're burning up cell phone data on that, maybe you should look up the criminal statute for slander and defamation of character. Is that a 5 year or 20 year felony? I'd think an undercover secret special agent would at least have a basic understanding of criminal law. 

I also can't stop laughing at the end of this comment. So Marty claims he's "retained" a well known lawyer? Does this idiot really understand what retaining a lawyer really means? I'll give you a clue Marty, it means you've actually paid him a RETAINER FEE. It has nothing to do with sending him a Facebook friend request. I won't even bother pointing out that no "well known" attorney would ever allow his name to be associated with the moronic claims you're making. 

As we all know, Marty really isn't bright enough to conceal his true intentions in life. He proves once again what his real agenda is with this follow up comment:

"I will be setting up an event page and will be asking for donations for the legal fees. This will also be going to federal court as my civil rights were violated as well."

And there it is CoMmies, the true reason for Marty's "well known attorney" claim. It's a new excuse the worthless loser can use to beg for donations. 

Will Marty be setting up a paypal link to make donating easy? He needs to first open a bank account. Cashing his $80/week paycheck at the liquor store has its drawbacks.

Will he once again be accepting various store and restaurant gift cards to pay his lawyer with like he did with his "Marty Prehn Legal Defense Fund" scam? Will Marty post any proof that he actually has a lawyer that he pays or owes legal fees to? We've all seen this scam from Marty before. Will anyone other than CashFlo be dumb enough to fall for this stupidity and actually give this moron money? Instead of a bank, perhaps he hides all of that money in the legendary Mongoose Mattress: 

Stay tuned, loyal readers. You know we'll have the coverage of this latest scam for your reading entertainment. 

The Anticipated Return of The Mongoose

Greetings, faithful readers. Thanks again for joining us in covering the unbelievable stupidity of Marty Prehn. The entire staff here at CoM decided we needed a vacation from the stress that reporting on the Mongoose can cause. The sifting through the lies and abject stupidity had jaded us all and we took a corporate training sabbatical in Vegas, so the timing couldn't have been better for Marty's latest Facebook timeout. The break was needed and well deserved. That being said, I'll use one of Marty's catch phrases, "now is the time and the time is now!"

The much anticipated end of Elder Dawg's suspension is  Monday July 20th. Every reader here knows what is sure to come on Monday - lies and stupidity of Mongoose proportions! Marty will have plenty of pent up rage to spew all over Facebook and threats galore will be flying as the idiot makes up for lost time. I can only imagine how many 20 year prison sentences Marty will personally guarantee are coming soon. Numerous PPO's waiting to be served. And the always soon to come "fireworks"! Let the idiocy commence!

After Marty finishes threatening half of the country with investigations by every law enforcement agency that has a badge, he'll then be able to resume his fantasy Facebook life. These suspensions must be really hard on the Mongoose. Marty spends 30 days stuck in the reality of his meaningless, lonely existence. Now he will once again be free to dream of recognition, respect, and importance! The one-man hype machine will crank up and get busy promoting his fake advocacy, imaginary events, and new friendships with anyone who has been in the news lately. Will Marty's return make the front page of USA Today, or will Marty have to settle for page three?

Marty is also really way behind in his promotion of MVP Productions. Isn't there supposed to be a Marty organized "Unity Night" at a Detroit Tiger's game soon? What about the Tiger's retirement party at the lake cottage in August? How many $50 tickets have been purchased so far? I also wonder about all the MVP summer camps with every pro sports league that Marty announced were coming. Summer is half way over Marty, don't you need to tell us when and where these camps will be taking place? My kids were really looking forward to those!

I have so many unanswered questions that Marty can address as soon as his suspension is over. When will the Tigers retire Denny's number? Are they going to un-retire Sparky Anderson's number so that they can retire it again under one of your favorite players name? How many of your events will the Ilitch family be funding, in spite of your previous attacks on them? Will Marty be able to suppress his hatred of Muslims in order to get on the news while supporting a Muslim activist? Is Pete Lucido's office you set up on the floor of your parent's cottage up and running? I can't wait to hear about Marty's progress in all of these areas, including his surveillance of the evil Flemshady.

I'll close this brief report now because I'll be working all weekend preparing for the dump truck full of Mongoose droppings that will be spread over Facebook starting on Monday. I'm sure Marty will be in classic Mongoose lying form.

Brace yourselves, CoMmies, the Bullshit Tsunami is heading our way!

*** No disrespect intended to the actually developmentally disabled.