Marty Prehn's Reality Sucks

Dear Readers:

If you're following the exploits of our mindless muse and are looking for an update on his seemingly endless idiotic antics, there isn't much to report after his latest epic failure, that being Mongoosapalooza 2016.

Fear not, faithful CoMmies. We've seen this cycle for years. Marty Prehn is currently in "tamped down" mode, but he'll be back soon. Oh, sure, he's still saying stupid stuff on the internet, but even that gets stale. Rest assured that when he launches his next great campaign of pure, unabashed insanity, we'll be all over it like a free buffet at a funeral. Trust us. We are professionals.

John Tuttle, Editor
Chronicles of Marty

Move Over, Dan. Your Dinner is Dead...

"Now is the time, the time is now", but...

There's a somber pale across the faces of Mero's and ticket holders from Nashville to Hollywood and all points in between.

That's right CoMmies, Marty's latest delusion fest, most recently referred to as the Metro Detroit Unity Dinner, has come to its inevitable conclusion. It was cancelled because of lack of payment to Barrister Gardens. Honestly, I don't like using the word cancelled when talking about any Marty event. There would have to be an actual chance there was going to be an event in the first place. We're talking about Marty "The Mongoose" Prehn here. There was not a chance in hell Elder Dawg was going to have any kind of dinner. Keen readers here knew that.

As this blog easily predicted, not a single event Marty claimed was coming in his numerous breaking news posts will happen. I'll do a quick review of the complete bullshit Marty has put out there the last few months. The quantity is so large I'm sure I'll miss a few but, I have complete faith our readers will fill in any blanks I've left.

1. Luau at the "Celebrity Hotel"
2. Celebrity Dan Roast at Gilbert's Lodge
3. Private reception for Corey Clagget
4. Polish dinner with Florence Iverson
5. High Chaparral reunion roundup picnic and country hoedown
6. Red Carpet arrivals at Dinner
7. Black tie buffet dinner with cash bar
8. Variously named award presentations
9. Speeches by Donald Trump, Corey Clagget, Florence Iverson, Pastor Ovella and others, further lumped into "the program"
10. Music to dance to by his good friend Danny D and the Vagabonds, including a song especially written by Marty to the tune of "Oh, Rejoice in the Lord"
11. An antique ambulance on display
12. Donated Harley on display
13. Campaign tables for local politicians
14. Free truck presentation to an Iraqi killer
15. Screening of Justice 4 Jean
16. Reunion tents for church group and high school in the median during the cruise
17. Florence riding in a parade with Marty
18. Free Danny D concert in a park, complete with syncronized flag waving by the crowd
19. No less than four birthday celebrations, including the much anticipated and finally "public" 60th birthday party for the Mongoose himself
20. Live streaming worldwide!

I know I'm missing several but the stupidity gives me a headache. Either way, not a single event will be taking place. Not much value to a ticket holder, regardless if you paid $50, $60, or $73. Bottom line, just the latest Marty delusion in a long list of idiotic events. Mongoosapalooza 2016 was just as successful as the four previous years.

Marty's stupid-ass dinner had at least four different names, 40 winners of the 21 (or was it 22, I lose track) awards, sales of coffee mugs, hoodies, lunchboxes and such. His moronic claims were so unbelievable, they prevented anyone for taking the event seriously. His delusion never had a chance.

Marty;

Once again, your skid-marked pants are around your ankles and everyone is laughing in your idiotic face.  Only a person who has no shame or reputation to lose would dare show up at the Gratiot Cruise this weekend, so I guess we'll see you there!

Marty Prehn, Cruise Volunteer to the Stars!

PS: This blog is making an early prediction that we'll soon see the return of the Berkley Deed Restriction Advocate...

Last Chance, CoMmies!

As you can see by the countdown on this blog, time is running out on your chance to witness history. Marty has been kind enough to give everyone a few more chances to get tickets to his "Dinner of the Century and See the Stars Come Out"! Here are your final chances to throw your hard-earned money to Marty's enormous junk food bill:

"Marty Prehn
Just now
BREAKING NEWS and an EMERGENCY CALL 2 ALL METRO DETROIT HERO'S and Community leaders, Mayors, Police Chiefs, City Council members, Pastors, Judges, lawyers, State Representatives, Senators, business leaders, sports figures, MOTOWN music legends, Ambassador Bridge owners, Detroit sports team owners, restaurant owners tv and radio station personalities and news reporters, and citizens and friends of METRO DETROIT. NOW is the time to buy your tickets to the Friday, June 17th METRO DETROIT HOMETOWN HERO'S & UNITY DINNER that will take place in my hometown of St. Clair Shores, Michigan. Tickets are $50 a piece or a leadership table for 10 can be purchased for $500 with a table towards the front but will be on a first come basis. I will be selling tickets for the next 3 days ONLY at the Eastpointe Cruisin Gratiot cars shows from 4-7pm on the following days and locations. TODAY June 13th at the 9 and Gratiot BIG BOYS in Eastpointe. TOMORROW June 14th at the CLOVERLEAF restaurant on Gratiot between Stephens and 9 mile. And on WEDNESDAY June 15th at the 1st STATE BANK on 9 mile near Gratiot across from the Courthouse and Police Station. Tickets are on a cash only basis and tickets are limited and MUST purchased in advance so the Barrister Gardens Banquet hall has a head count of how many dinners they will have to plan for. I can also be reach on my cell phone at 1 586 563 0989 or message me on fb and friend me if you are not already a friend on fb. BUY YOUR METRO DETROIT HOMETOWN HERO'S & UNITY DINNER tickets TODAY while they last as seating is limited to the 1st 500 ticket holders"

Don't wait too long CoMmies, tickets will soon be gone. Hurry to the ATM or Walmart because as we've already reported, tickets are cash or Walmart money order only.

BE A PART OF MERO HISTORY!

Marty Prehn Plays His Last Trump Card!

Dear CoMmies,

Throughout my time as editor of this blog, there have been very few occasions where I was rendered speechless and unable to report on Marty's complete stupidity. I'm afraid this is one of those times. We've all been quite entertained while watching Marty change his dinner lie to gain the attention of his most recent guest demographic target. It now appears Marty has been shunned once more so the dinner has changed again. Here is the latest fantasy.

"Marty Prehn
We will do better than that. On June 17th at the Barrister Gardens in my hometown of St. Clair Shores, Michigan I will be having a birthday party to celebrate Donald Trumps 70th birthday which is June 14th aka FLAG DAY. We will also be celebrating my 60th birthday which was on May 20th and we will be celebrating the birthdays of 2 other AMERICAN HERO'S. The first is for a former US ARMY and AMERICAN POW Corey Clagett who was incarcerated for over 10 years at Fort Leavenworth after being tried and convicted as a war criminal under the flawed ROE's or RULES OF ENGAGEMENT in a combat situation. His last 6 years he served his country in solitary confinement. He was just released and SET FREE on March 31st, 2016. He will celebrate his birthday for the 1st time in over 10 years. He will also vote for the 1st time in over 10 years and will vote for DONALD TRUMP to be his next PRESIDENT and a real Comnander in Chief. My other AMERICAN Hero is a 94 year old marine and fb friend who has adopted me as her fb son. We have never met and will do so next weekend at the 1st annual METRO DETROIT HOMETOWN HERO'S AND UNITY DINNER. An invitation has been sent out to the Donald Trump people to rearrange his schedule now that the Presidential primaries are over to come to this event and thank both of these AMERICAN HERO'S for their service and celebrate our birthdays together and work together to bring UNITY to the COMMUNITIES and to the REPUBLICAN PARTY at least in the METRO DETROIT AREA and to address the issue of ELDER and GUARDIANSHIP ABUSE and look for solutions to STOP THE VIOLENCE and senseless murders that top the evening news every night. It is time for the media to focus on the HERO'S in the world and not the ZERO'S in the world. I am extending this personal invitation to Donald Trump and his beautiful country and family first or will that be 1st family after the November 2016 Presidential election? This way Republican candidate for President Donald J Trump can come and thank Corey Clagett personally for his service and sacrifice and PROMISE when President of these UNITED STATES that one of his 1st Presidential Executive Orders will be to grant full and unconditional pardons to those AMERICAN HERO'S known as the LEAVENWORTH 10 and publically vow to be the BEST DAMN COMMANDER-IN-CHIEFS this Country has seen since my friend Ronald Reagan was in the White House. Florence Iverson turned 94 on April 15, 2016. And June 15th is the day recognized as the US and International Elder Abuse Awareness Day. Alot to celebrate for. Tickets for this UNITY and REBIRTH of America birthday celebrations are only $50 and can be purchased by contacting my by friending me on fb or calling my cell number which Scott Haggerstrom now has which is 1 586 563 0989 to get your tickets for this historic event. For security reasons and for a head count tickets must be purchased by June 12th at the latest. Democrats and Independents are invited as well as this is a UNITY dinner and a CALL 2 ALL for GOD TO BLESS AMERICA and return AMERICA to being GREAT and respected by the rest of the western civilization. The celebrity and METRO DETROIT HOMETOWN HERO'S red carpet arrivals begin at 5pm dinner served from 6:30-7:30pm and the announcements of the 22 METRO DETROIT HOMETOWN HERO'S who will be the recipients of the Dan Haggerty Humanitarian Award will be announced after the 8pm program. Music will be provided by my friend DANNY D and there will be a cash bar and drinks and dancing and birthday celebrations going on until 1:45am and REMEMBER TO NEVER HIDE YOUR AMERICAN PRIDE.
16 minutes ago ·"

After reading this comment I feel there  is just no way I can recap all the implications it presents in one article. Instead of trying, I'm just going to let everyone here notate what they notice about the latest changes in the comments below. Thanks in advance for your participation.

God love ya and hello...

Tut

It's coming.......

Marty Prehn's Dinner Deathwatch

It's crunch time in Mongooseville!


With only 48 hours left to pay Barrister Gardens for a minimum of 55 dinners, National Fake Advocate Marty Prehn has once again reinvented the whole event to serve his most pressing need - cash. 

As updates from the idiot come more frequently, each one different from the last, I can't help but think Marty Wow!

"Marty Prehn
This is why, my friend, Oakland County Sheriff Mike Bouchard, along with Michigan Asst. Attorney General Mike Goetz and Asst. US ATTORNEY of the EASTERN DISTRICT for the DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE Barbara McQuade aka "MIGHTY MOUSE" have been selected as 3 of the 22 METRO DETROIT'S HOMETOWN HERO'S and are recipients of the 1st annual Dan Haggerty Humanitarian Award at the METRO DETROIT HOMETOWN HERO'S & UNITY DINNER that will take place in my hometown of St. Clair Shores on June 17th at the beautiful Barrister Gardens Banquet facility on Harper Avenue. The celebrity and Hometown HERO'S red carpet and limo arrivals will take place starting at 5pm. Doors open for ticket holders at 6pm. A buffet dinner will be served from 6:30-7:30pm and the HOMETOWN HERO'S & UNITY program starts at 8pm. Music will be provided by Metro Detroit's own DANNY D and his band the VAGABONDS. There will be a cash bar and a birthday cake to celebrate my 60th birthday that took place on May 20th. I will be your host along with the St. Clair Shores Legend and the original SPIRIT OF METRO DETROIT Mr. Detroit Tiger himself Jamie Victory and DETROIT'S own QUEEN OF SOULS and U C.O.A. co-founder Pastor Ovella Davis of CODE 22. This will be a terrific time for the STARS 2 SHINE in between the RED, WHITE and BLUE. Tickets are $50 and must be purchased in advance. This is a pay forward event so call me to secure your free ticket and pass it on to someone else who may not be able to afford a ticket but wants to learn how to be a HERO and a MERO. Messenger me on fb or call or text me a message on my cell phone at 1 586 563 0989. And don't forget that this is a HERO'S convention so bring you black tie, tux or evening gown or dress up as your favorite SUPER HERO or if you think a Hollywood Legend looks like you then come dressed up like them and any HOMETOWN DETROIT SPORTS LEGENDS and MOTOWN SINGING LEGENDS are invited to attend as well and see which tv station WDIV, WXYZ OR FOX 2 NEWS DETROIT will be the winner of the CELEBRITY CHALLENGE and get the most HOLLYWOOD and NASHVILLE LEGENDS to come to this event. My cell number again is 1 586 563 0989. This will also be a GRAND RIVER BALL challenge to see who can get the most local and national corporate sponsors to donate a minimum of $1,000 for this 501c3 U.C.O.A. fundraiser event and who can get the largest single donation. I hope that Scott Haggerstrom, Donald Trump and Hilliary Clinton will take on this HOMETOWN HERO'S & CELEBRITY CHALLENGE as they are invited to attend this UNITY DINNER as well. WHICH ONE WILL ANSWER THE CALL TO MAKE AMERICA GREAT ONCE AGAIN?

MARTY WHO?
MARTY WHERE?
MARTY WOW!

WHO IS YOUR HERO AND EVEN MORE IMPORTANTLY WHOSE HERO ARE YOU?"

Marty starts his latest with yet another of his "friends" he graciously upgraded to an official award winner.  Mongoose math is very complicated, as he's now made almost 40 people one of the 22 (up from the original 21) award winners. What's the idiot going to do if they all show up to claim an award? My guess is they'll stand outside the locked doors at Barrister Gardens with anyone else who was dumb enough to have believed this lying moron.

Marty then goes through the standard dinner announcement. Location (balance due), band (still not on their schedule because they haven't been paid), cash bar, and his leftover birthday cake from Comerica Park last month with Denny and other dignitaries.

The next part of Marty's newest lie is the part I find most intriguing. He announced that he's added a third host - Pastor Ovella Davis, a Detroit area pastor with a 501c3 charity. It's not hard to figure out the way his scamming Tinker Toy brain came up with this new twist. Marty has finally learned that local companies and national corporations just don't donate cash (or a new truck) to some fat idiot who walks in off the street and asks you make a charitable donation to an individual. "Cash or Walmart money orders only". Marty needs a registered charity's name to use while begging. He seemed to forget to mention how much, if anything, goes to this charity. So far, all proceeds are planned to go directly to Martin E. Prehn. I wonder if Pastor Davis has her cocktail dress ready or if she even knows she is a host. Is she prepared to join Marty and Jamie with their comedy routine that "had the old folks peeing themselves"?

We then see the next ticket price reduction. Tickets are now a flat $50 instead of a couple or table of ten discount. The part that I'm confused by is his "pay it forward" thing. "Contact me for your free ticket...." Is Marty just giving away tickets now or are they buy one and get one free? Did a donor "pay it forward" and finance tickets for the poor? Is there a screening process for who gets the free tickets or just the first 300 who ask? As with any Marty announcement, so many unanswered questions.

Next, the delusion train starts to veer off the tracks. Marty reminds people to wear their tuxedo or ballgown but then takes this dignified event into a completely different direction. He encourages people to dress up as their favorite superhero, or if they look like a celebrity, dress like them. Has Marty's black tie dinner now become a costume party? Does he need celebrity lookalikes for his hour long red carpet walk because no real celebrities are coming? Personally, I'm going to go dumpster diving in a Salvation Army Dropbox, find a ratty old sports coat, don a stupid hat, stuff a couple of over-ripe cantaloupes under my shirt and go as the Elder Avenger. I suppose I should quit showering for the next few weeks, too.

I'm just going to skim over Marty's attempt to get various TV stations to supply his dinner with Hollywood and Nashville Legends. You know, all those people Marty claims to be friends with that he already promised would be there. I'll also skip his dropping of the name of the charity to use while people try to get the corporate donations he's already bragged about getting, as well. I do wonder if those donations are also supposed to be cash or Walmart person-to-person money orders. That's P-R-E-H-N for all those $1,000 money orders. I guess the liquor store doesn't cash personal checks.

I'll close this latest report by saying what everyone here already knows. There will be no dinner, no red carpet, no superhero costumes, no Hollywood stars or look-a-likes, no band, no charitable donations or for that matter, no Marty. June 17th will come and go unceremoniously, just like the previous Mongoosapaloozas.

Damn you, Flem Ling!