Marty Prehn's Dinner Deathwatch

It's crunch time in Mongooseville!


With only 48 hours left to pay Barrister Gardens for a minimum of 55 dinners, National Fake Advocate Marty Prehn has once again reinvented the whole event to serve his most pressing need - cash. 

As updates from the idiot come more frequently, each one different from the last, I can't help but think Marty Wow!

"Marty Prehn
This is why, my friend, Oakland County Sheriff Mike Bouchard, along with Michigan Asst. Attorney General Mike Goetz and Asst. US ATTORNEY of the EASTERN DISTRICT for the DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE Barbara McQuade aka "MIGHTY MOUSE" have been selected as 3 of the 22 METRO DETROIT'S HOMETOWN HERO'S and are recipients of the 1st annual Dan Haggerty Humanitarian Award at the METRO DETROIT HOMETOWN HERO'S & UNITY DINNER that will take place in my hometown of St. Clair Shores on June 17th at the beautiful Barrister Gardens Banquet facility on Harper Avenue. The celebrity and Hometown HERO'S red carpet and limo arrivals will take place starting at 5pm. Doors open for ticket holders at 6pm. A buffet dinner will be served from 6:30-7:30pm and the HOMETOWN HERO'S & UNITY program starts at 8pm. Music will be provided by Metro Detroit's own DANNY D and his band the VAGABONDS. There will be a cash bar and a birthday cake to celebrate my 60th birthday that took place on May 20th. I will be your host along with the St. Clair Shores Legend and the original SPIRIT OF METRO DETROIT Mr. Detroit Tiger himself Jamie Victory and DETROIT'S own QUEEN OF SOULS and U C.O.A. co-founder Pastor Ovella Davis of CODE 22. This will be a terrific time for the STARS 2 SHINE in between the RED, WHITE and BLUE. Tickets are $50 and must be purchased in advance. This is a pay forward event so call me to secure your free ticket and pass it on to someone else who may not be able to afford a ticket but wants to learn how to be a HERO and a MERO. Messenger me on fb or call or text me a message on my cell phone at 1 586 563 0989. And don't forget that this is a HERO'S convention so bring you black tie, tux or evening gown or dress up as your favorite SUPER HERO or if you think a Hollywood Legend looks like you then come dressed up like them and any HOMETOWN DETROIT SPORTS LEGENDS and MOTOWN SINGING LEGENDS are invited to attend as well and see which tv station WDIV, WXYZ OR FOX 2 NEWS DETROIT will be the winner of the CELEBRITY CHALLENGE and get the most HOLLYWOOD and NASHVILLE LEGENDS to come to this event. My cell number again is 1 586 563 0989. This will also be a GRAND RIVER BALL challenge to see who can get the most local and national corporate sponsors to donate a minimum of $1,000 for this 501c3 U.C.O.A. fundraiser event and who can get the largest single donation. I hope that Scott Haggerstrom, Donald Trump and Hilliary Clinton will take on this HOMETOWN HERO'S & CELEBRITY CHALLENGE as they are invited to attend this UNITY DINNER as well. WHICH ONE WILL ANSWER THE CALL TO MAKE AMERICA GREAT ONCE AGAIN?

MARTY WHO?
MARTY WHERE?
MARTY WOW!

WHO IS YOUR HERO AND EVEN MORE IMPORTANTLY WHOSE HERO ARE YOU?"

Marty starts his latest with yet another of his "friends" he graciously upgraded to an official award winner.  Mongoose math is very complicated, as he's now made almost 40 people one of the 22 (up from the original 21) award winners. What's the idiot going to do if they all show up to claim an award? My guess is they'll stand outside the locked doors at Barrister Gardens with anyone else who was dumb enough to have believed this lying moron.

Marty then goes through the standard dinner announcement. Location (balance due), band (still not on their schedule because they haven't been paid), cash bar, and his leftover birthday cake from Comerica Park last month with Denny and other dignitaries.

The next part of Marty's newest lie is the part I find most intriguing. He announced that he's added a third host - Pastor Ovella Davis, a Detroit area pastor with a 501c3 charity. It's not hard to figure out the way his scamming Tinker Toy brain came up with this new twist. Marty has finally learned that local companies and national corporations just don't donate cash (or a new truck) to some fat idiot who walks in off the street and asks you make a charitable donation to an individual. "Cash or Walmart money orders only". Marty needs a registered charity's name to use while begging. He seemed to forget to mention how much, if anything, goes to this charity. So far, all proceeds are planned to go directly to Martin E. Prehn. I wonder if Pastor Davis has her cocktail dress ready or if she even knows she is a host. Is she prepared to join Marty and Jamie with their comedy routine that "had the old folks peeing themselves"?

We then see the next ticket price reduction. Tickets are now a flat $50 instead of a couple or table of ten discount. The part that I'm confused by is his "pay it forward" thing. "Contact me for your free ticket...." Is Marty just giving away tickets now or are they buy one and get one free? Did a donor "pay it forward" and finance tickets for the poor? Is there a screening process for who gets the free tickets or just the first 300 who ask? As with any Marty announcement, so many unanswered questions.

Next, the delusion train starts to veer off the tracks. Marty reminds people to wear their tuxedo or ballgown but then takes this dignified event into a completely different direction. He encourages people to dress up as their favorite superhero, or if they look like a celebrity, dress like them. Has Marty's black tie dinner now become a costume party? Does he need celebrity lookalikes for his hour long red carpet walk because no real celebrities are coming? Personally, I'm going to go dumpster diving in a Salvation Army Dropbox, find a ratty old sports coat, don a stupid hat, stuff a couple of over-ripe cantaloupes under my shirt and go as the Elder Avenger. I suppose I should quit showering for the next few weeks, too.

I'm just going to skim over Marty's attempt to get various TV stations to supply his dinner with Hollywood and Nashville Legends. You know, all those people Marty claims to be friends with that he already promised would be there. I'll also skip his dropping of the name of the charity to use while people try to get the corporate donations he's already bragged about getting, as well. I do wonder if those donations are also supposed to be cash or Walmart person-to-person money orders. That's P-R-E-H-N for all those $1,000 money orders. I guess the liquor store doesn't cash personal checks.

I'll close this latest report by saying what everyone here already knows. There will be no dinner, no red carpet, no superhero costumes, no Hollywood stars or look-a-likes, no band, no charitable donations or for that matter, no Marty. June 17th will come and go unceremoniously, just like the previous Mongoosapaloozas.

Damn you, Flem Ling!

Marty Prehn's "I Need an Event Name" (aka "Can I get my deposit back?")

From our roving reporter, Robert Cookout, III:

"There is a certain electricity in the air here in Macomb County, Michigan as we enter into the Mongoose Season. Shopping mall traffic is running a brisk pace as the locals prepare for the month-long festivities, starting with Marty's birthday party at Comerica Park Friday and ending in a grand fashion with the Dan Haggerty Awards next month."

When I accepted the job of editor of this blog I thought to myself: "How hard can it be?" I'm now starting to understand why RC3 turned to the bottle in an attempt to cope with the continuous stream of complete and vapid stupidity that comes from Marty 24/7. Elder Dawg is so full of shit even he can't keep up with his constant new lies. I've reached the point where I can no longer keep all of the various claims about Marty's imaginary dinner straight. It's seems that the closer we get to June 16th-18th, the more the weekend events change. This fake event changes by the hour depending on who Marty is lying to at the moment.

Normally, when doing these reviews, I post a screen shot of whatever the latest lie is to fall out of Elder Dawg's overworked pie hole. Now that Marty has ramped up his last minute lie fest as he runs short on time, there are just too many to post. Not to mention, the length of these new claims just keeps growing. For example, one of his new updates is so long, it takes three screen shots to cover it all. There really isn't any point in wasting that much bandwidth just for the latest eye roll inducing Mongoose droppings. For this update, I'll just point out the obvious bullshit and assume that our loyal readers know it exists in cyberspace and is shared with 3,800 faceless "friends".

One of the most obvious signs that this entire dinner fiasco is nothing more than a Marty delusion is the constantly changing name. Marty claimed last week that 500 tickets had been printed, but the hall would hold up to 1000. I've seen the dinner called by three different names the last few days alone. I can't even begin to remember the total number of different names this fantasy has had since the beginning. I'd like to know what name is actually printed on these newly produced tickets and why can't Marty use one as a cheat sheet when hyping his event? If all the names he has used recently were printed on the tickets, they would be poster size. No wonder the availability date keeps changing. The print shop must be going crazy with the constant reorders.

Marty's latest great dinner announcement involves one of his previous fake advocacy crusades, the Leavenworth 10. One of these men, Corey Clagett, was released a couple of months ago. Of course this made him a new Marty favorite target. Now Marty not only claims Corey has confirmed he will be attending Marty's red carpet, black tie dinner to be honored, but Marty is also going to present him with a brand new blue truck to reward him for his service to the country. Apparently, Corey needs this truck to use as transportation to his job working for some charity. I guess Marty doesn't think Mr Clagett should have to drive the yellow truck or Corvette that are pictured on his Facebook page. Marty: Make sure his new truck comes with North Carolina plates. We don't need another out-of-state plate scandal like that Shylock Pixley character pulled last November...

Marty also decides to mention the man's mother will also be coming to Detroit to attend Elder Dawg's historical dinner. Here is a screen shot of a small part of Marty's epic announcement;

As usual, Marty can't go more than a day without proclaiming he's having a fundraiser for something. Marty fails to mention what this fundraiser is or where and when it is so, I assume it's another top secret affair. Maybe he's having it at the same location he held his Unity in the Community Task Force press conference. Just think "metro" CoMmies and you'll know as much as Marty about the secret location. Sneaky little retard, eh?

Another part of the constant lies Marty is struggling to remember is the sale of tickets to his dream. His latest announcement claims tickets sales will start on his birthday. I'm a little confused about how tickets were "going fast" over a month ago, and the few remaining tickets would be sold at a Danny D show if the tickets weren't even available? Oh, you moronic imbecile. I can keep up with your lies better than you can, Marty!

Another aspect of the ticket confusion is the price. Originally tickets were on sale for $73.00 but in Marty's latest claims they are now $60.00 in honor if his 60th birthday. I think this might be a case of Marty mixing two of his delusions together. Weren't the tickets to Marty's 60th birthday party/fix the cottage toilet dinner also $60.00? You remember that one right? The dinner complete with a raffle to win a weekend at his parents historical destination of the stars lake cottage. The one with no hot water, rusted pipes, and the previously mentioned broken toilet. Not sure when that event was cancelled but I do wonder if those ticket holders can exchange their tickets for one to his next event.

Marty was nice enough to use his BJU college education to help us all with ticket math. Tickets are now $60 or you can purchase a table of ten for the low price of $500. Thanks for pointing out that equates to $50 a ticket, Marty. I never would have been able to figure it out on Bob's expense report.

Since Marty was kind enough to help us all with some math, I figure I'll return the favor. Barrister Gardens has a 55 person minimum to hold an event. They charge $30 a person. That's works out to $1,650. Danny D wants $1,400 to provide an evening of entertainment. After you subtract the $600 deposit on the banquet hall that Marty conned Flo into putting on her credit card, he has a minimum balance of $2,450 due just for the hall and music. When you start adding up the other expenses involved such as red carpet rental, security, tuxedo rental, and so on, it looks like the Mongoose has some large bills coming due soon. If Marty sells 6 tables of ten at $500 each, that might be enough to cover those costs but then he'll have another problem. That's already 60 people, 5 over the minimum. When you take into consideration all of the award winners and Marty's personal special guests that won't be paying for their ticket, the amount  just keeps rising. I don't think Marty's math skills have worked out all of those details. Maybe Rita Maid can help. She went to accounting school.

I'm not even going to attempt to cover all of the election candidates that Marty invited to attend and set up campaign booths. You know the clueless ass didn't figure any of those people into his math. Do they pay for a ticket? Is there a limit to how many people they can bring to work their booth? Do they get dinner or not?

Looking at both the length of this article, and the pile of Mongoose lies I still haven't mentioned, I've decided it's just too much to cover. I'm not even going to start with all the questions I have for Marty the Moron. I'll just close with this. We all know there will be no dinner, Danny D isn't going to be playing, nobody will be getting an award, no celebrities will be red carpet walking, and most importantly, I'm not going to get a Grizzly Adams coffee mug, hoodie, or lunchbox!

I might never recover from that disappointment. Move over, Cookout. I'll be crying in my beer next to you at the bar.