Marty Prehn is a Jerk

Thanks for checking in, CoMmies, to get your latest dose of pathetic Mongoose idiocy.

One of our many sources of staying on top of Marty's life long campaign of hate, lying, self promotion and just generally acting all...well, Marty-like, has temporarily been suspended from Facebook - again. Fear not. The Mongoose has discovered a way to update the masses on his current scam:

"Detroit's version of 2 1/2 Men and U.G.L.Y. BETTY. This photo was taken on May 13, 2015 in Eastpointe. At this Crusin' Gratiot fundraiser we formed a non profit called the MVP PRODUCTION COMPANY LLC and will take the lead on addressing the issues of BULLYING, CYBER STALKING, AND SUICIDE PREVENTION AND AWARENESS. In this photo are 1968 DETROIT TIGER WORLD SERIES CHAMPION PITCHER DENNY MCLAIN (31-6), JAMIE VICTORY, HEY U.G.L.Y. PRESIDENT AND CO-FOUNDER BETTY HOEFFNER and myself MARTY PREHN, NATIONAL ELDER ADVOCATE, THE ELDER AVENGER, ELDERDAWG and MARTY THE MONGOOSE. Get ready for UNITY DAY at Comerica Park as we the people put the UNITY back in the communities of the City of Detroit. Watch for the event page this week. It will take a team effort to get this done and yes it is DOABLE. I need 1,000 likes for this post to get the event going. Please like and share with your fb friends and family and get them to like as well. Let's get busy. Going to meet with the biggest and the baddest man in the whole Damn town or is that Downtown. He is bigger than old King Kong and meaner than a junkyard dawg but has a heart of gold and compassion for others, Minister Malik Shabazz. I will see you there today 6-28-2015 my brother at Puritan and Wyoming to discuss UNITY DAY at COMERICA PARK next month."

Marty may have been suspended from posting his word vomit, but apparently figured out that he still has the ability to change his profile picture and edit any existing comment that is attached to said picture. Eureka! No longer bound by chains of a cheap flip phone, he can now continue to propagate his crazy schemes. Can't keep an Elder Dawg down. There's an entire city full of new marks that have yet to be exposed to a fat scammer from the suburbs, and, damnit, Marty's gonna find them. He's taking advantage of his vacation from posting lies and hate by "friending" everyone and everything south of Eight Mile Road. In sales, they call it "prospecting". "Surely someone in that ghetto has Paypal?"

As he always has in the past, as soon as Marty's suspension ends, he'll start ranting that his "cyber stalkers" had Facebook suspend him again. He's just too stupid to realize comments like the screen shot below just aren't allowed on Facebook:

I fear that this latest suspension is really going to put a dent in all of MVP Production's upcoming great events. How will Marty sell tickets to his upcoming trifecta of fake events? That great Detroit Tiger's retirement party already scheduled for Aug 15th at his parent's cottage is in jeopardy. How will Marty also update us on the locations for MVP's various summer camps with all the major sports leagues that were announced recently? When are these camps going to be held? My kids were really looking forward to whatever Marty's cause of the week was. How will they get Lebron's and Verlander's autographs now? Maybe Jamie Victory's parents will let him update the public on their Facebook page. Probably not.

The worst part of this latest Elder Dawg suspension was the timing. It happened the day of the Eastpoint Cruise. Marty not being able to take all the credit for the cruise, not to mention all the exaggerated lies he was sure to add on Facebook, must have been shear Mongoose Hell. It makes me picture a child receiving a great new toy on Christmas morning, but not having batteries to put in it. Just the latest kick to Marty's ass from life, I guess. All that hard work sitting around acting like a big shot talking at his phone, gone to waste.

This latest development is really the story of Marty's life. No matter what Marty comes up with or tries, he's going to lose. Sometimes I think Marty is living proof that karma really does exist. He's a loser, will always be a loser and we'll be right here laughing as he continues to make a complete ass of himself. Until you can post again Marty, I'll just say we're really going to miss your daily moronic blather. Maybe you should write down all the stupidity you think up in the next month so you can speak it into your phone for Facebook.

Meanwhile, rest assured, CoMmies, our fans and contributors are so close to Marty that they need to shower as soon as they get home.

The best is yet to come. Stay tuned...

Marty Prehn's "Justice 4 Jerks"

The countdown is over. The clown car/Jeep has rolled into the Motor City. The day we have been waiting for has arrived. Today is the day of Marty's big press conference and Big Vexi's PPO hearing against the notorious Sean Fleming.

Will Marty's press conference go down as the biggest in Detroit history? Will Marty and Big Vexi "find justice"? Did Sean pack a bag for his forthcoming five year prison sentence? Can Marty make it through the day without his head exploding because he can't spew on Facebook?

All of these questions will soon be answered and all of you CoMmies know where to get those answers. Stay tuned right here for the breaking news. We'll have updates as it happens or you'll just have to wait for tonight's coverage on the local Detroit broadcast news stations.  Either way, "Showdown in O Town" will surely be discussed in law textbooks for years to come...

Marty Prehn's "Showdown in O Town" Countdown

Happy Monday to all of you CoMmies out there. We've reached the start of a very big week in the saga of Marty. His man crush, Big Vexi, should now be in Michigan. 

Marty was up early this morning, as evidenced by the number of page views from a cheap T-Mobile flip phone on the blog starting at about 5am. I guess Linda is sleeping with the iPhone under her pillow because Marty hasn't used it for early morning CoM viewing the last few days. I hope there isn't trouble in paradise. They probably fight enough already over food and that last can of frosting in the fridge!

Anyway, Marty needed his early start. With all of the important events he has scheduled for this week, he should really be busy today. Since Marty never disclosed the location of his Meet and Greet tomorrow with Big Vexi and Washed Up Stuntman, we have no idea how much prep work is needed. Where is the red carpet screening of Marty's soon to be blockbuster hit "Justice 4 Jean"? Will it just be Marty holding his flip phone while trying to play the YouTube video in the parking lot of Carquest? Will there be a stage and seating set up? Tickets? Crowd control?  Is Marty going to say a few words? We'll do our best to update everyone as soon as we see the local TV stations start hyping their upcoming live coverage of this incredible event and landmark court case. 

The day we are all really looking forward to is Wednesday the 6th. This is the day Marty will get justice against Sean Fleming. A PPO, local, state, and federal cyber stalking with domestic terrorism charges with an instant conviction and five year prison sentence are just the highlights of all that's going to happen to Sean by 1:45pm. Marty's "pre trial" press conference is scheduled for 12:00 noon in front of either the courthouse or sheriff's department. Then there'll be a stampede of victims and national media trying to get inside the courtroom. As Marty has told us, there can't possibly be enough room for everyone. The actual hearing will begin at 1:30 starring none other than the Mongoose himself. He has let us all know his expert testimony will be the driving force needed to take down the pure evil that is Sean Fleming. Based on Marty's excitement the last few days, this will be his greatest victory ever. To the best of my knowledge, it would also be his first. 

In reality, we all know what is actually going to happen this week. Big Vexi will arrive in Detroit and completely ignore dumb ass Marty. After all, he has a Jeep load of paperwork consisting of screenshots and sworn affidavits to assemble for the judge. The PPO hearing will be held and Marty will be nothing more than the guy smelling up the back of the courtroom. There will be no Meet and Greet. If he has a press conference, nobody will ever know because he'll be the only one there. Marty's great victory will be nothing more than Marty kissing Big Vexi's ass while trying to get a couple of pictures with him. The saddest part is even Marty knows this. 

On Saturday Marty changed his Facebook settings to where nobody other than people on his friends list can see him or any comments he makes. His profile is still there, it's just no longer viewable by the public. Why would the Mongoose take such extreme measures to hide his droppings all over Facebook? Why would he limit access of his greatness to the people who already know about it? I think it's to hide from the embarrassment that he knows is headed his way Wednesday evening. When none of his grand delusions happen, he doesn't want people who actually remember the big claims he made reading his spin on the situation. Can't let a pesky thing like the truth dim the shinning star that Marty claims to be. 

As Marty now hides from us and limits his spew audience to over 2,500 of his closest personal friends, we'll continue to laugh at his stupidity and point out his lies. Marty thinks he's got the upper hand by changing his Facebook settings but as we've tried to tell him many times, most of his "friends" now read and contribute to this blog.

Resistance is futile, Marty.  We're smarter and more popular than you'll ever be!