Fraser Prepares for a Mongoose Infestation!

A hearty CoM welcome to all of our new readers!

As the foremost authority on all things Marty,  it's somewhat humbling to see so many people taking an interest in this blundering idiot.  I'm willing to bet that you've never encountered another rodent anywhere near as moronic or nasty as this one. Today I'll do my best to point out the known tactics of this nuisance and how to best rid yourself of a Mongoose Infestation. Trust me, you don't want one in your town. Kinda like pubic lice, but without the glitz and glamour!  

And you people thought that the sinkhole was the worst that could happen. Tsk tsk...

I've seen many residents of Fraser asking how they were unfortunate enough to suffer a Mongoose infestation. There's a simple explanation for the arrival of this disgusting and odoriferous vermin. It's naturally drawn to television news crews or reporters. I'm sure everyone noticed Marty standing in the background while people were being interviewed for the local nightly news. That's the burning instinct of the Mongoose. Make sure you're in camera view at all cost! The lure of the news crew is so strong on the Mongoose, he once chased a news van all over Metro Detroit after a storm so he could be interviewed as a storm damage expert, calling every station to try to give an on-air report! No one answered and he went back home to his hotplate and Dinty Moore. Hell, that's how this asshole found you in the first place. Having no family or friends to celebrate Christmas Eve with, the loser went sewer hopping in hopes of being on the news! 

There are several sure signs your town has become a nesting area for the Mongoose. Speaking in front of your city council talking more about his own delusions of self importance than the issue he's supposedly interested in. Hanging around as close to news crews as possible. Spewing baseless crap about people involved in the issue that brought the media there in the first place. Claiming he's an expert on the subject even though it's obvious he's absolutely clueless on the subject. Dropping as many names of elected official and celebrities as possible while claiming to be "good friends" with them. And most importantly, taking credit for things he had absolutely nothing to do with. Here's a recent example:

Once you realize your city hall has been infested by this vile creature,

 the most important rule to remember is this: Never, under any circumstance, do you feed the Mongoose. I promise you, not only will he bite the hand that fed him, he'll include their children, distant relatives, friends, and employers.

I'm sure by now you're thinking: "Oh No! We're infested, now what do we do?" Fear not, my new friends in Fraser, hope is not lost. Even though your embattled mayor is providing plenty of food for this rodent, he can still be stamped out. Just like a cockroach in your kitchen, the Mongoose will flee when you turn the light on and expose him. And with Marty, there is plenty to expose. The truth about him is the brightest light of all. Marty has told so many lies that he can't possibly back up, picking them apart is child's play.

As an experience Mongoose Elimination Expert, I'll try to arm you with the tactics needed to run this rodent off. You must shine the light on  him at the place he's most strongly drawn to, televised city council meetings. Marty can't resist the urge to speak in front of cameras so this is where he's most vulnerable. You have to use stealth when getting ready to expose him. Marty will attempt to wait until he's going to be the last speaker so no one can follow him and point out his idiocy. So, be patient! Don't get in position to speak until after Marty has committed himself and gone to the podium before you. If he doesn't know who else might be speaking, he also can't make a preemptive strike before they get the chance.

Arm yourselves with the truth about this rodent. If he claims to be an elder advocate, point out his treatment of his mother. Also a good time to mention Florence Iverson - trust me. If he claims Reagan had the Berlin Wall torn down as a favor to Marty for his father, point out no U.S. official would go out of their way to appease a former Nazi soldier. If he calls for a "forensic audit", ask why when the probate court that was handling his mother's case asked him for financial records of where his parent's money went, he took a contempt of court charge instead of complying. 

When he claims to be an experienced, but non-specific 

"Special Agent" of some sort with a yet to be named three letter agency, ask him where he bought that ratty hat. "Good friends" with government officials? Ask what proof he has other than campaign rally photo bomb pictures posted on Facebook. Maybe ask Carey "Hot N Ready" Torrice about Marty claiming that "being her bodyguard was the best job he ever had", with the requisite sexual innuendo. Ask other city councils and mayors about the times he infested their city hall. Ask all of his "media friends" if he's the reason they are covering the news in your town. Better yet, ask Peter Lucido if Marty is helping him draft legislation in Michigan and why he allows Marty to post his crap on his Facebook page.

In order to save enough bandwidth for comments, I'll wrap this report up. In short, my Fraser friends, be aware of the Mongoose but don't be afraid. Marty can be very ferocious and there is no depth he won't sink to, as he knows no shame. But there is no need to fear him. His below average intelligence, along with his constant grandiose delusions about himself, makes it easy to expose him as the worthless, powerless loser he really is. Educate yourselves and you'll have no problems pointing out what a lying ass he really is. Actually, most of the time, he points it out himself. Read just about any random page of this blog - it's Mongoose Kryptonite!

"Now the healing needs to begin."

God speed.

Tuttle

PS: Be sure to stop by the CoM booth at this weekend's fair and browse our gift shop, featuring CoM T-shirts and Mongoose Signature Collection© Lunchboxes!

Taming of the Shrew Mongoose

While California digs out from their earthquake and Detroit cleans up after record flooding, the wrath of God and Marty being mocked is clearly evident. We're still trying to figure out who Marty's pissed at in Liberia, causing that Ebola outbreak.

Without a good weekend spew from the Mongoose, I'm left with this question: Has Marty finally been "tamped down" for good? With the exception of one little mini tirade, Marty hasn't been heard from since his embarrassing adventure on the Ferndale High School picnic page. He was in not-so-rare Marty form in his comments there. All of his great threats were on display for public consumption and ridicule. Another PPO promise came and went with the passing of that picnic. And as everyone has come to expect, absolutely nothing happened. Has the great Elder Dawg finally shamed himself into silence?

Marty has never made it this long without attempting to scare or threaten someone. Even the great Domestic Violence trial came and went without a solid Marty meltdown. If it weren't for his around the clock checking of this blog from his flip phone, I would worry something had happened to our favorite idiot. What could possibly be going on that would finally shut Marty up? His silence is not the result of another Facebook suspension, as he's a pro at dealing with those. Has the Mongoose finally tired of being humiliated by his own words? 

It was obvious Marty thought Big Vexi's arrival in Oakland County was going to be his big can of whoop ass on us. It was a PPO hearing against one unrelated and insignificant person to this blog, but Marty's tot-like mind seemed to think the results would keep us from journaling his life events. As you can see, he was very wrong about that. Marty had already started celebrating our imminent demise, but the party was short lived. After his ThreatDown on the picnic page did nothing more than cause laughter, was Marty finally broken? 

Now that he's been left by Big Vexi to fend for himself, what will he use to evoke fear in his targets? He no longer has a court case to set the stage for all the arrests he's coordinating with the FBI, CIA, DOJ and others.  He can't use home inspections as a way to claim to get revenge on Robin and Guy - they passed those with flying colors. After Grizzly Adams and Betty White were contacted by us about the Nationally Televised Elder Abuse/Team Chism Reunion, suddenly those claims stopped. Has the Mongoose finally run out of threats and promises that were obvious lies? Has Elder Dawg reached the breaking point of a life that was all make believe? Has Marty finally accepted the fact that, other than Flo, the world has caught on that he was never more than a con and fraud? 

Of course we haven't seen the last of Marty. It's only a matter of time until he returns as a retooled superhero. His entire life is devoted to trying to make himself a relevant public figure through whatever lie he has to tell. He'll be back with a new scam where he is even more "larger than life" than he claimed to be in the past. 

And we'll still be here to point out that the only thing larger than his enormous gut is his unending stream of lies.

Marty Prehn: Nonsense Server

It's another great day here at CoM. It's Friday again and as all of you CoMmies know, that can only mean one thing. Yes, you guessed correctly, it's once again Flameout Friday©!   [queue laughter SOT]

Marty got a head start on Flameout Friday© this week. He actually got started on Thursday night. For the sake of saving bandwidth, I'll summarize his comments from before midnight first.

Marty posted a mysterious comment on Big Vexi's page last night referencing some sad news. After being totally ignored by the Lawless Lemmings, Big Vexi was forced to comment. The big sad news was Sean Fleming being served to appear at a Personal Protection Order (PPO) hearing on the 6th that Marty claims somehow involves him. As to be expected from our moronic Special Agent, Marty couldn't resist staking a claim to being a key player in this non event.

Marty Prehn
"Bill you should see how long the arms are of this process server. I wonder if this is where the term THE LONG ARM OF THE LAW COMES FROM? Hopefully criminal charges will be added as well both at the local, state and federal levels."

As you can see, Marty will claim to be whatever fits the moment. When did Marty become a process server? I can't help but see this comment as Marty trying to claim he is the person who served Sean. We all know that's not true. The only thing Marty serves is himself another plate full of food at a funeral buffet for someone he doesn't know.

The great news that Marty's hero and man crush had served Sean seemed to send Marty off into his fantasy world yet again. He begain posting comments on Big Vexi's page throughout the night. The more he commented, the more involved and important he became. You see Marty's standard claims surface in this comment:

Marty Prehn
"Sort of like a scene out of the movie JAWS. Looks like we are going to need a bigger courtroom as it will be over owing with media and witnesses and court watchers. Press conference scheduled for 12 noon. In front of the courthouse or maybe in front of the sheriffs office and get a statement from Oakland County Sheriff Michael Bouchard about going after and prosecuting cyber stalkers."

This simple PPO hearing for a man from Texas against Sean Fleming, who lives in Detroit, has suddenly grown so large it won't fit in a courtroom. Marty's typical claim of great media coverage has gotten so old. The local media he stalks while trying to get his name in the news, consider him the village idiot. I can't say I would disagree with them.

My favorite part of this Marty spew is his claiming there will be a press conference. As Marty's usual press conference location is unavailable due to an unresolved Slim Jim debt at 7-11, he's naturally confused about where he'll address the media hoard that will be begging for a statement from the Mongoose. It'll either be in front of the courthouse or the Sheriff's Department. I hope he updates this statement when he finalizes the location. I'd hate for Big Vexi to miss it, otherwise that would leave Marty standing alone somewhere and he won't even be able to drown his sorrows with a Slurpee.

After Marty is unable to get any form of a reaction from the Lawless Lemmings because even they can recognize complete bullshit when they see it, he takes his manic rants to his own page. Marty blessed us with this post:

Marty Prehn
"Is there a difference between a going to be and a wanna be? Sean D. Fleming is going to be EXPOSED FOR THE CYBER STALKER THAT HE IS on Wednesday August 6, 2014 at 1:30 pm at the Oakland County Courthouse. If you live in the area please attend a news conference at 12 pm with myself and Nikl Windsor and other victims of this emotionally disturbed individual and his other cyber stalkers from the hate groups Joey is a little kid and the Marty Prehn Chronicles. I am hoping that Jeff Vaughn, Taryn Asher, Mara MacDonald, Bill Laitner, Jamie Cook and the other Metro Detroit tv stations come and do stories about how this coward of a man has willfully and knowing posted things on the internet with the intention or harassing, stalking and trying to intimidate and humiliate and causing reasonable people to become fearful of their lives including death threats that he latter claims was a challenge to do rap songs along 8 mile and that is what he meant when he said he would TEAR BILL WINDSOR APART WITH HIS BARE HANDS. Looking at Sean D. Fleming reminds me of the character from the Hunchback of Notre Dame and I believe that Bill Windsor will be requesting that Sean D. Fleming be ordered to a mental faculty in Oakland County for a 72 hour mental evaluation because this guy the a whack job just like several other people who post on these hate blogs and law enforcement is now working with us to hold those accountable who cyber stalk and interfere with the personal lives of people on the internet and know no boundaries or what is crossing the line as to what is acceptable behavior and what is free speech and what is hate speech and harassment."

This comment contains many of Marty's standard claims. Death threats, insults, mental evaluations, names of the local media, but one thing is different. He quotes Sean fleming as saying. "TEAR BILL WINDSOR APART WITH HIS BARE HANDS.". Marty had to add the "bare hands" part to make it sound more threatening. I can't remember Marty ever adding words to a quote so it better served his purpose. Has the Mongoose evolved his tactics to the advanced stage of altering another persons words to bolster his claims?

Of course we have another invite to Marty's big press conference with an undetermined location. I picture mobs of people running around Oakland County in search of the great Elder Dog saying a few words.

The most sickening part of this comment is the end. Is Marty really trying to say he knows what acceptable comments on the Internet are. Does this mean it's ok to wish death on your nieces and nephews or mock a 14 year old girl and Marty's perceived and distorted view of how much she should weigh, but pointing out Marty is a dumb ass loser is somehow crossing a line? Only in the demented mind of a never has been, never will be, mooching schmuck.

The most important but fitting comment made during these last few hours of Mongoose spew were provided by a Lawless Lemming. During Marty's victory tour all over Big Vexi's page, we found this:

Sharon Stephens
Who is Marty Prehn???
Yesterday at 11:20pm

It's good to know that in this crazy world we live in, some things never change.  

Sharon, dear, he's the Regional Director and Chief Media Relations Manager/Process Server and star of your upcoming blockbuster movie.

Silly lemming.

Developing Idiocy

Full Coverage of Marty's Flameout Friday© Forthcoming. 

Inside the Lair of the Mongoose: A CoM Exclusive

 

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Stay glued to this site for an EXCLUSIVE peek inside the Elder Avenger/Dawg's top secret operations nucleus.  

See the true essence of the man behind the silly hat.

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