Great news, CoMmies!
You too can live a bountiful and spiritually fulfilling life, just like the Mongoose!
You too can live a bountiful and spiritually fulfilling life, just like the Mongoose!
Welcome back everyone. As I'm sure anyone who reads here knows, our guilty pleasure is making fun of the idiot known as the Mongoose, aka Martin E. Prehn. While taking a quick glance at the many recent worthless Facebook posts by Marty, I noticed one that made me chuckle a little more than the others. This was posted by Marty just a few days ago:
I couldn't help but think it would be rather entertaining to examine this list and compare it to Marty's real life. As pathetic as the loser Elder Avenger is, there's no way Marty could follow this "Simple Formula for Living".
1. Live beneath your means:
Let's face it, an abandoned resale shop on Gratiot in Roseville is pretty, umm, humbling. Perhaps he should turn his back on this glamorous lifestyle, trading in the Mongoosemobile for a shopping cart and live under a bridge at Gratiot and Rosemary in Detroit. Nah, even the ghetto has it's standards.
2. Return everything you borrow:
Does this include stolen change for gas money or donations received under false pretenses? How about ticket sale funds for fake events? Money from accounts? Slim Jims?
3. Stop blaming other people:
Like blaming your siblings for getting foreclosed on every mortgage you were paying with your parents life savings?
4. Admit when you make mistakes:
Or just claim you were hacked and someone else made the comment. Phone calls in the middle of the night? Must be an AT&T employee cloned your phone again.
5. Give clothes not worn to charity:
Oh, please. Your average street hobo has newer and certainly cleaner clothes. Don't insult them.
6. Do something nice and try not to get caught:
Or try not to get caught with collection jars that you claim go to charity, but really just finance your beer and pizza.
7. Listen more; talk less:
Really?
8. Every day take a 30 min walk:
If Marty could find a parade or demonstration march with press coverage every day, no problem. Otherwise.....
9. Strive for excellence not perfection:
Just take credit for other's excellence. Next!
10. Be on time, don't make excuses:
The lunch buffet ends at 2:00. I promise you, Marty will be on time.
I couldn't help but think it would be rather entertaining to examine this list and compare it to Marty's real life. As pathetic as the loser Elder Avenger is, there's no way Marty could follow this "Simple Formula for Living".
1. Live beneath your means:
Let's face it, an abandoned resale shop on Gratiot in Roseville is pretty, umm, humbling. Perhaps he should turn his back on this glamorous lifestyle, trading in the Mongoosemobile for a shopping cart and live under a bridge at Gratiot and Rosemary in Detroit. Nah, even the ghetto has it's standards.
2. Return everything you borrow:
Does this include stolen change for gas money or donations received under false pretenses? How about ticket sale funds for fake events? Money from accounts? Slim Jims?
3. Stop blaming other people:
Like blaming your siblings for getting foreclosed on every mortgage you were paying with your parents life savings?
4. Admit when you make mistakes:
Or just claim you were hacked and someone else made the comment. Phone calls in the middle of the night? Must be an AT&T employee cloned your phone again.
5. Give clothes not worn to charity:
Oh, please. Your average street hobo has newer and certainly cleaner clothes. Don't insult them.
6. Do something nice and try not to get caught:
Or try not to get caught with collection jars that you claim go to charity, but really just finance your beer and pizza.
7. Listen more; talk less:
Really?
8. Every day take a 30 min walk:
If Marty could find a parade or demonstration march with press coverage every day, no problem. Otherwise.....
9. Strive for excellence not perfection:
Just take credit for other's excellence. Next!
10. Be on time, don't make excuses:
The lunch buffet ends at 2:00. I promise you, Marty will be on time.
11. Don't argue, get organized:
Look at the pictures of his room, he'll never be organized. He's not smart enough to argue with anyone over 7 years old.
12. Be kind to unkind people:
Or, refer to them all as "my cyberstalker from Madison Heights" and threaten them with government investigations, imaginary signed verbal court orders, and federal prison sentences.
13. Let someone cut ahead of you in line:
"Hell no. The obituary said there's a buffet and the family should be mingling with the other mourners!"
14. Take time to be alone:
Naked. With paper towels and Jessica's Facebook page.
15. Cultivate good manners:
Better idea - cultivate some good hygiene.
16. Be Humble:
Even while you are appearing on Ellen, Jimmy Fallon, Dr Phil, Let it Rip, all three television networks simultaneously, or being live-streamed worldwide.
17. Realize and accept life isn't fair:
F.A.I.R.? Accept that you are a loser, idiot, nobody, worthless piece of shit and nobody is ever going to attend your birthday party at Comerica Park no matter how cheap the tickets are.
Look at the pictures of his room, he'll never be organized. He's not smart enough to argue with anyone over 7 years old.
12. Be kind to unkind people:
Or, refer to them all as "my cyberstalker from Madison Heights" and threaten them with government investigations, imaginary signed verbal court orders, and federal prison sentences.
13. Let someone cut ahead of you in line:
"Hell no. The obituary said there's a buffet and the family should be mingling with the other mourners!"
14. Take time to be alone:
Naked. With paper towels and Jessica's Facebook page.
15. Cultivate good manners:
Better idea - cultivate some good hygiene.
16. Be Humble:
Even while you are appearing on Ellen, Jimmy Fallon, Dr Phil, Let it Rip, all three television networks simultaneously, or being live-streamed worldwide.
17. Realize and accept life isn't fair:
F.A.I.R.? Accept that you are a loser, idiot, nobody, worthless piece of shit and nobody is ever going to attend your birthday party at Comerica Park no matter how cheap the tickets are.
18. Know when to keep your mouth shut:
Keep the flies in.
19. Go an entire day without criticizing someone:
Marty is far too bitter to ever be able to do that.
20. Learn from the past. Plan for the future:
Keep the flies in.
19. Go an entire day without criticizing someone:
Marty is far too bitter to ever be able to do that.
20. Learn from the past. Plan for the future:
If Marty hasn't learned by now that people just laugh at the same old threats he's been using for years, he never will. He plans for the future with every elected official he gets a picture with. "This will prove I'm somebody!" It doesn't and just gives us something to write about.
21. Live in the present:
Is a fantasy Facebook life considered the present?
22. Don't sweat the small stuff:
Based on recent pictures, Marty sweats buckets all the time. Doesn't matter the size of the stuff.
23. It's all small stuff:
I could make a penis joke, but I haven't seen it and doubt Marty has in years. Maybe I'll check with the hobos...
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ReplyDeleteSure. Go with that.
[IMG]http://i64.tinypic.com/25flhsh.jpg[/IMG]
Retard.
Ohh the memories. That's the walk he ended up having to get a ride to the finish where the reporters set up.
DeleteBefore Pete Lucido and Joe Knollenberg, it was Malik Shabazz and CEO Mick.
ReplyDeleteBefore Marilyn Lane, there was Suzanne Pixley.
Then Ronnie LaForest done gots himself engaged to another fella, "Hello, Joe Nicols..."
Fickle Marty and his ever changing sloppy seconds...
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ReplyDelete"But I'll settle with vacant retail space in a shitty neighborhood on Gratiot, whatever I can find in Aldi's dumpster and fake friends on Facebook..."
[IMG]http://i63.tinypic.com/110lks1.png[/IMG]
ReplyDeleteNo family, no friends and certainly no regrets.
Buried in an unmarked grave by the county and it's an improvement from the Boarding House to the Stars...
Curse of the Mongoose.
ReplyDeleteBig Boy on Gratiot in Eastpointe also shuts down
"The Eastpointe store had been remodeled in recent years and was a location for the annual Cruisin’ Gratiot static car shows."
DeleteCurse of the Mongoose.
Damn you, Pixley. We'll miss you, White Lightning...
Curse of the Mongoose.
ReplyDeleteFour recall petitions approved for Fraser mayor
"Marty Prehn August 26, 2013 at 8:35 PM
ReplyDeleteDue to the nature of my activites and the access I have each year I am required to take a mental aptitude test so to refute one of the comments made on the Joey blog. I am not an idiot."
Oh, yes you are. Biggest idiot I've ever seen.
Talk about your satire...
ReplyDelete[IMG]http://i67.tinypic.com/23wo9dj.png[/IMG]
If this was a joke, Marty would get some kind of award, maybe even a souvenir statue!
But it's not. Just more delusional blather from a fat idiot who thinks he matters.
Bitter much, Marty?
ReplyDelete[IMG]http://i68.tinypic.com/24qk20n.png[/IMG]
Why don't you photo bomb a picture with your latest "good friend" - it's called a selfie.
Don't forget to smile and show those pearly whites!
Now his "signed verbal order" extends to all "15,000" people in the 4.2 square miles of Fraserville!
ReplyDelete[IMG]http://i63.tinypic.com/242tuvl.png[/IMG]
"It's Coming, Boys (and girls)!"
Fraser is Stuck with Marty. I knew they would be. Should be fun to watch from the sidelines. Marty since read this GO SUCK A LEMON YOU TOOL. Stay tuned for my Marty Prehn Review Video. Marty Who Two LMAO
ReplyDelete