Sunday, March 16, 2014

Lair of the Mongoose, Part Deux



He can hide from the tax man. He can run from his landlord. He can dodge his creditors. He can set up a PO Box in a different city and disappear from his family.  The Special Agent, however, continues to make tactical mistakes when it comes to his online activities.

After extensive research into IP addresses and cell tower ping info, we have discovered the new Lair of the Mongoose. This top secret location where the Special Agent does his dirty work with Linda Fergan Bowery has been confirmed. 

Our CoMmies used all of the techniques that were learned by monitoring Marty's Facebook post over the last several months. IP addresses gleaned from screenshots of Facebook comments, voice recognition from various blog post, and most importantly the strong urine smell, have revealed Marty's latest hiding spot, after being politely asked to not return to the Eastpointe Library. How many process servers and bill collectors are just dying to get their hands on this location?

This latest lair was just confirmed with a quick drive by of one of our field operatives. There is no hiding the awe inspiring Mongoosemobile parked outside this apartment complex. 



Of course I don't expect Marty to be in this location long. Unlike living in a house, an apartment has neighbors very close that can smell. How long until the complaints about the new roach infestation start? Or people complaining about the uninsured eyesore with the expired registration taking up room in the parking lot? We can only hope the walls aren't so thin that people have to listen to Marty's constant reviewing of the tapes of MVZ masturbating. It's only a matter of time before Marty is forced to move again. 

No matter where you run, Marty, they'll come asking questions again. At least you get to sit in the back of a federally owned vehicle.  I'm sure they'll be thrilled, too.




19 comments:

  1. Shoot. I lost that bet. I was sure he moved into the garbage dumpster behind Carquest.

    Actually, Linda's apartment doesn't look much nicer, or it certainly won't be for long...

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  2. That's a "Section 8" complex filled with lowlifes, drug dealers, dopers, drunks and felons ... Marty probably feels right at home among hs own kind. Jr. will fit in well too if he ever gets out of jail.

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    Replies
    1. That would explain a lot. Looks like Marty found the female version of himself.

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    2. Maybe he's undercover on an assignment?

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    3. There are so many disgusting jokes I could reply to that statement with. I'm going to refrain from posting them out of concern for the damage the images could cause unprepared people. You're welcome.

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    4. THANK YOU!
      Puhleeeease no more trauma!
      I'm still reeling from the atrocities committed to little stuffed paca plush toys!
      That was too much.

      ℗ ♛

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  3. Hmmm according to the Saint Clair Apartments Rules, one phone call and Marty is out ... since he's breaking almost every rule. Policies & Procedures

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    1.ALL APPLICANTS SUBJECT TO CREDIT CHECK.
    2.ALL SPECIALS BASED ON CREDIT & INCOME.
    3.NO SUB-LEASING.
    4.NO CO-SIGNERS.
    5.NO DOGS ALLOWED, ALL OTHER PETS ALLOWED PER MANAGEMENT APPROVAL & FEES.
    6.NO PET SETTING ALLOWED FOR ANY PERIOD OF TIME.
    7.RENT DUE ON FIRST DAY OF EACH MONTH.
    8.LATE FEES CHARGED SEVEN DAYS AFTER FIRST.
    9.ALL OCCUPANTS MUST BE LISTED ON RENTAL AGREEMENT/LEASE NO EXCEPTIONS.
    10.NO RECREATIONAL VEHICALS ALLOWED IN COMPLEX LOT.
    11.ALL VEHICALS MUST HAVE VALID PLATES, BE IN WORKING CONDITION, AND MOVED/DRIVEN EVERY 72 HOURS.
    12.NO STORAGE OF VEHICHLES.
    13.NO WORKING ON VEHICLES ON COMPLEX LOT/GROUNDS
    14.SPEED LIMIT 15MPH.
    15.BLDG/UNIT KEYS ARE NOT TO BE GIVEN TO ANY OTHER PERSON OTHER THAN THOSE ON RENTAL AGREEMENT/LEASE.
    16.POOL USAGE SUBJECT TO MANAGEMENT RULES & POLICIES. NO LIFEGUARDS ON DUTY.

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    Replies
    1. They spell like Marty = 6. NO PET SETTING ALLOWED FOR ANY PERIOD OF TIME.

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  4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  5. I'll bet his late mother would say her's was her daughter.

    Marty is more like the Angel of Death.


    "Marty Prehn shared a page: Hike for Heroes.
    6 hours ago
    Hikes for Heroes what an awesome idea. The fun part about being a Guardian Angel is that we rarely ever sleep. Lol"

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    Replies
    1. Doesn't he need to die before he becomes a guardian angel?? Let's hope he becomes one soon.

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    2. Time to recycling this lie...

      "Marty Prehn. I don't know if you remember the Guardian Angel from the movie IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE but that was my great grandfather Clarence. I am known as the ELDER AVENGER and also known as Super HERO Marty the MONGOOSE. Yeah you better believe it that we are family kiddo."

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    3. I should follow up my comment with a disclaimer. That is nit in any way a threat towards Marty. I'm hoping Marty dies from natural causes to become a guardian angel. Like getting hit by a bus or a heart attack, or even an accidental fall off a cliff.

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    4. Or asphyxiated by old lady flesh...

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    5. isn't a mongoose a type of weasel?

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  6. I spoke with the woman Dorothy that Marty had called while in procession of my legal paperwork. We had a great conversation about him.

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  7. Or chocking on cabbage and corn beef that he's been shoveling down his giant gullet for the past 3 days at the VFW (free of course, he told them Loady Linda would mail them a check)

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