Marty Prehn: Failure Extraordinaire

Just hours after his Lakeview High School Reunion fiasco, Marty Prehn adds to his ever-growing list of miserable failures. Marty is so desperate to appear to be fronting a charity event, he has resurrected the scam he forgot about - Operation Patch Adams.

Marty originally had this event scheduled for October 5th. It was the planned finish to his great Robin Williams tribute weekend. As with all of Marty's events, it simply never took place and he was counting on no one noticing so he didn't bother to bum gas money and stayed home. He even skipped his regular appearance at the Saint Clair Shores city council meeting to brag about how successful it was while wearing his latest skin-tight, see-through participant T-shirt complete with his number documenting his attendance. Marty didn't even bother to register for the event which tells me he never planned on attending. But what the hell, "Those council members couldn't possibly find out that I'm lying for the umpteenth time to them".

After this blog once again pointed out that another Marty bullshit story had come and gone, the Elder Avenger finally found the energy to get off the couch and at least attempt to save face. Luckily, there was another suicide walk scheduled within driving distance that Marty could attempt to hijack.

Suddenly team Operation Patch Adams is registered for the upcoming walk. Of course, this latest fundraising event will be his greatest. The target goal for team OPA is a cool One Million Dollars, a goal not seen since Mongoosapalooza, aka " I Need a Hero". From the looks of things so far, Marty is keeping his usual charitable pace. With zero team members and not a nickel in donations raised or even pledged, when you factor in the last walk, this charity is running a deficit in simply meeting the Mongoose, when you consider the free pizza he ate and stuffed in his pockets.  "Good Works" has a price, you know.

The reviving of OPA seems to fit with what we've been seeing from Marty lately. Elder Dawg's scams and claims have taken a downturn. Has Marty's creative lying ability finally begun to fade? Couldn't he come up with a new wrinkle for this latest walk? In fact, all of Marty's lies and threats have been downgraded lately. Now, instead of leading multi agency investigations, he's reporting alleged code violations. And how long has it been since we've heard Marty's spew about the great cyberstalkers MVZ or Flemshady? Has the crusade against them, headed by Marty and every elected official he could name, finally ended? Has Marty stopped listening to some sexual fetish balloon clown?

These latest developments leave me with a few questions: Will Marty manage to find the motivation and gas money to actually attend his own event this time? Will Flo join team OPA and donate? Or did she make the mistake of sending the donation straight to Marty? Will the Mongoose find the courage to update the city council of his latest "good works" despite the fact that Robin could be waiting to expose him as the lying idiot he really is? And what will Balloon Betty do now that Marty has forgotten about her and the balloon she had stuck up his ass?

You readers know this blog is a guilty pleasure. Stay tuned right here to find out the answers to all of these questions as they happen!

An Overworked Eric Holder Calls It Quits

Claims He Can't Keep Up With Prehn Caseload

Zdravstvujtye, CoMmies! 

It's now been a week since the beginning of Marty's great weekend of good works. Nautical Smile was scheduled to kick of the festivities last Friday night. Operation Patch Adams was going to be the big closing event (fireworks?). All the local stations plus the national media were going to be lined up to interview the person responsible for this incredible weekend tribute to Robin Williams - none other than the Elder Avenger himself, Marty Prehn.

After searching all week, our research department was unable to find a single video clip, newspaper article or flip phone picture of any Marty's moments of greatness. How could all of the media that was present not make Marty their lead story on the weekend news or on Sunday's front page? Where was TMZ? Didn't anyone get Marty's numerous emails or voicemail messages pointing out their chance to interview the greatest Michigan resident since Henry Ford? Marty couldn't even provide coverage of his own greatness on his Facebook page. Perhaps Walmart was unable to meet the demand for all the smiley face buttons that he proudly boasted to SCS City Council he was in the process of procuring. Or maybe he simply couldn't bum gas money from Linda.

All of Marty's planning and preparation for the tribute has caused a problem that I'm afraid he didn't see coming. Marty had been neglecting his true calling - investigating and prosecuting all of the numerous federal crimes committed against him. With the announced departure of Marty's "business associate" Eric Holder at the DOJ, these investigations have been hampered even further. Let's review a few of them to see if we can remind Marty that these criminals will get away with their crimes if he doesn't get busy.

When I began going through the pile of research the previous editor of this blog left behind, I kept seeing updates from Marty about a federal crime that he was the victim of. RC3 sufficiently covered his murderous, mom-kidnappin', arsonistic, embezzling sister -  who should be about 1/3 of the way through her 20 year stint in the federal pen - so we'll move down the list a bit to his illegal retaliation eviction at the hands of Guy and Robin. I saw numerous rants spread over several months about this heinous act. Marty claimed that although his rent was paid in full, the locks were illegally changed and proper notice wasn't served informing him that he wasn't invited back. Imminent arrest for these crimes was predicted several times by the Special Agent. I believe every time Marty went to court as a battered wife, this crime was to be addressed and the perpetrators were to leave the courthouse in handcuffs. Suddenly, we have stopped hearing about Marty's progress in getting justice against these criminals. Has this investigation been put on the back burner because of the sudden passing of Marty's dear friend, comedian Robin Williams? Will Guy still be deported and his fiancé be picked up for her mental evaluation?

A spin off investigation related to these crimes was also started by the Mongoose. All of the people involved in the theft of his intellectual properties, like his bottle of lotion and the infamous MVZ masturbation tapes, would soon be brought to justice. His standard 20 years in federal prison was the sentence Marty kept threatening. This investigation was being conducted by Marty the FBI Agent. Not to be confused with Marty from the DOJ or the Secret Service. I can only assume this investigation has been delayed because Marty the CIA Agent realized all of his critical international documents in locked briefcases were compromised. This would cause the investigation to be transferred from the FBI to the CIA. Although Marty is the Agent in charge of this for both agencies, finding the gas money to transport the files from one library office to the other apparently became problematic.

Another crime we haven't seen an update on are the postal crimes committed by Robert Cookout. The Postmaster General was informed of these crimes by Marty several months ago. He and his sidekick Flo had nabbed "Booby" in a Facebook sting! The posting of Flo's letter explaining to Marty that he was bleeding her dry was the act that sealed Cookout's fate. Have we not heard anymore about this crime because the shadowy master criminal Mr Cookout fled the county? Is Marty the Postal Police Agent busy working on the extradition of Bob or is the USPS handling that now? Maybe he's hired his "good friend" Dog the Bounty Hunter to retrieve this felonious absconder. I'm sure we'll get an update on that case soon. 

These are just a few of the open investigations Marty has been leading. Due to bandwidth restrictions, we can't report on Marty's war on cyberstalkers that he continues to reference revenge porn laws when addressing the cases. Nor his ongoing prosecution of Flemshady that is based on a letter from the police stating that no crimes were committed by said goofball.

Has the Mongoose finally spread himself too thin? Other than the underwear he stole from JC Penney 20 years ago and continues to wear today, is it even possible for any mention of Marty to include the word "thin"? Has Marty's preoccupation with producing star filled events and TV shows forced him to push his crime fighting activities to the side? Stay tuned for more updates as I'm sure now that we've reminded Marty about these lies - I mean investigations - more news will be coming soon.

Keep the craziness going, Marty. I'm up for my 30 day performance review soon...

They're Coming For Your Fat Ass, Marty!

COMING SOON: Our exclusive coverage of Marty Prehn's Nautical Smile/Operation Patch Adams weekend!

We know our coverage is exclusive because we can't find a single mention of either event with Marty by any of his close personal friends in the media.

Stay tuned. Check back early and often...

Marty Prehn's 'Into the Dumbness'

Nanu nanu, Commies;

I'm glad everyone continues to join in our coverage of Marty Prehn. I'm still a little new to the antics of the Mongoose but he's not a very hard person to figure out. Marty is obviously driven by nothing more than hate, bitterness, and a desperate need to gain praise and attention from anyone who will notice him. Preferably with a camera.

By way of background, last year Marty caught a ride with his washed up stuntman (WUS) friend and attended an event on the other side of Detroit, as WUS actually had a relationship with a woman who committed suicide.  Marty immediately started giving loving tributes to this woman, tearfully sharing memories of the 45 minutes they were actually in the same room together. At this event, he actually got a Senator to pose with his stupid statue!  Now, the trick is to recapture and expand upon his ever-growing list of "close personal friends".  Trish Kraus, WUS's late girlfriend, is so last year. As with Ronald Reagan, someone who is dead can't contest his crazy stories of their friendship, but who would make a suitable replacement this year?

Gentle readers, I give you "Operation Patch Adams"!

As Marty starts his hype campaign for his "Out of the Darkness" weekend that he is attempting to hijack and claim he's a part of, he shows us how much compassion he has for true suicide victims:

Marty Prehn
"Gloria it is amazing the amount of time n energy my cyber stalkers use or waste to try to track my every move n text. To say she is obsessed with her stalking activities would be an understatement. The other Robin Williams father comitted suicide n she was the one that found him. I am going over the police report of his death n the autopsy report and the media coverage. This explains her obsession with me. Her boyfriend states to his friends that she is a step down or 2 from his other girlfriends Pinkey and Cindy but has been with her to use her money and has no use for her kids as they are lazy and spoiled. They use each other and sadly as is the history with suicide survivors she or one of her children may resort to suicide to escape their pain or her control over them. Very sad indeed. The anger that rages within her is only getting worse and is becoming a threat to me to herself and to others. She lives in a world of make believe and distorts the truth and tears others down to try to hide from reality."
Edited · Like

It's become very obvious during my short time studying Marty that idiotic comments like this are the norm. I'll cover this comment in sections to best highlight his stupidity.

Marty begins by stating his amazement at the time and energy his so-called stalkers waste tracking him. This is really quite amusing when I think about it. How much time does Marty think it takes to read a couple of Facebook comments and then point out the stupidity and lies contained in them? Trust me when I say it's not hard or time consuming. Marty's constant moronic comments make it quite easy actually. I can assure you Marty spent more time editing his latest rant than I did reading it and writing this article. I'll touch on the amount of time Marty spends stalking people later.

Next, the absolute despicable nature of Marty starts to show. He points out that his alleged cyber stalker, Robin, was a victim of the suicide of her father. He goes so far as to include the detail that she was the one that had found him. What better way to show everyone the compassion you claim to have regarding this issue than to point out the details of this tragedy to inflict pain on its survivor? Marty goes on to say he is studying the police and autopsy results from this incident. What exactly is he searching for in these reports? More painful details to point out to inflict the most pain possible on the survivors? He also states "this explains her obsession with me".  Who is obsessing here? Robin hoped to be done with his fat ass once he was legally evicted, yet Marty is combing through old autopsy reports?  God, I can't get the phrase "piece of sh&t" out of my head.

Marty continues his attack by including the man who helped him when he was homeless and unemployed. Guy gave Marty a place to stay and helped him get the part time, minimum wage job he still has today. To show his gratitude, Marty now uses his knowledge of Guy's previous girlfriends in an attempt to cause problems in his relationship. How ungrateful and low can a person be? Marty continues to show everyone that there is no depth he won't sink to in order to try to cause others misery.

The most ironic part of this comment is Marty mentioning the kids involved. Let's point out what a great parent and role model Marty was to his kids. Marty refers to Robin's kids as lazy. Marty Jr, the son you blessed/cursed with your name, is currently locked up for selling heroin. Was he a hard working drug dealer? Was he following your example when he was selling his bridge card online? You must be glowing with pride that your son turned out just as lazy and worthless as you are. I won't mention your daughter and grandchild that literally fled the state of Michigan to get away from you. How's grandson Tay Tay doing? You refuse to acknowledge him and your worthless son still doesn't support him. Like father like son, right Marty?

Of course this attack by Marty confuses the person he is communicating with. The subject was suicide prevention and a tribute to Robin Williams. Marty gets this reply:

Gloria Jean Sykes
"OK, I'm confused. This is not the comedian Robin Willians you're holding tribute?"

It appears to me that Marty's friend can't figure out what Marty is talking about. He's claiming to be having a tribute for someone, then attacking them in the same conversation. It's unfortunate for Marty that both his late comic friend and his former landlord share the same name, but it still doesn't make sense to be advocating for the victims of suicide and then using a suicide as a way to attack a victim at the same time.  What am I saying? It doesn't need to make sense. I'll get the hang of this job eventually.

Of course with Marty being the name dropping idiot he is, he can't miss an opportunity to try to claim another famous friend:

Marty Prehn
"The tribute is to our mutual friend, comedian and humanitarian. The other one has been identified as one of my cyber stalkers in the HATE blog the Marty Prehn Chronicles. Lets chat bx email or by phone so our conversation remains private."

After 10 months, he still can't get the name of this blog correct.

We all know Marty has never met, talked to or was befriended by Robin Williams, but the part of that comment that shows the true Marty is the end. "Lets chat bx email or by phone so our conversation remains private." This tells your faithful correspondent that Marty wanted people to see him pointing out the suicide details of Robin's father, but he wants to hide the lies he's about to tell this woman next.

Marty loves to point out then attack his alleged stalkers but I can't help but notice a few things. Marty drives by these people's home and reports them for what he thinks are code violations. He parks across the street from their business for hours at a time. He comments on all the vehicles at their shop being repaired. He claims to have the city flying drones over their house to look in the back yard. Claims to have conversations with every federal, state and local authority about them. Promises police raids, news crews and the family business being "shut down". Goes to the trouble to get police and autopsy results of a family member's suicide. But Marty is amazed that someone is obsessed enough with him that they'd waste the time to go to a city council meeting and defend the lies he is posting that include actions taken by that very city against his targets?

That leads me to ask Marty this question: Who is the real obsessed stalker?

I'll give you a hint: He doesn't own a computer or even a smartphone.  And he's not even registered for Sunday's walk...