Marty Prehn Tamped Down Again

It's been a fortnight since we've seen Marty on the TV and I, your humble correspondent, have mixed emotions.

The common good has been served well by both Facebook and the city of Saint Clair Shores effectively telling Marty to STFU.  However, my 30 day performance review is coming up next week. I hope our board of directors and you readers at least give me some credit for his recent state of tamped down.

As the great Elder Avenger has now been scared away from "Open Mic Night in the Shores" we are left to speculate about what has happened to Marty and what will come next. Has an attention - but certainly not food - starved woman finally made Marty's life so carefree that his scams are no longer necessary? Has desperate Linda's belief in his greatness finally pacified Marty's insane craving for attention? Has Marty finally gotten so lazy it's now become too much work to prop himself up off the couch and do anything?

What should we make of Marty's absence at the most recent Saint Clair Shores city council meeting? This bi-monthly public forum was always Marty's bread and butter. He could wax rhapsodic about his all around greatness, introduce his next scams, tell whatever lies he thought up and feed his addictive need to appear on TV - even if only Public Access. After a tiny housewife with no experience in public speaking made a complete fool out of him at the last meeting, it was expected Marty would be back with a vengeance. Instead, he was a no show. No recap of Nautical Smiles or his great Robin WiWeekend, aka Operation Patch Adams. No updates on the next suicide walk he would be attempting to high jack. Not even an update on the location of his Lakeview High reunion dinner, featuring Dave Coulier. Did Marty's cowardly instincts take over and make him flee when he arrived at city hall and saw Robin's all-too-familiar car in the parking lot? It's safe to say a Robin has caught the worm we know as Marty, promptly spiting him out and kicking him across the council chambers.

On a side note, I have to admit my great disappointment that Marty didn't show. I was looking forward to seeing Marty's latest Homeless Chic© fashion statement.

I'm starting to believe Marty's life of luxury at Linda's is really starting to effect his greatness. Now that he has a free place to stay, a steady source to scam gas money from and only one brute to arm wrestle for fruit cups, his donation needs aren't as great. "Screw all those 'target rich' events to photobomb and eat free food at. Who's on Ellen?" It might just explain the spike in her daytime ratings lately.

Based on Marty's past, after reading this article he will soon be supplying us with his excuses for his absence - perhaps a new FBI/CIA/DOJ stakeout. Is he currently trying to hide behind a palm tree in the Virgin Islands on assignment for the USPS, filming RC3 masturbating with a stuffed alpaca while in a drunken stupor? Are there more code violations on 10 Mile that Marty is busy flying a "quad copter" over while downloading the video to Linda's iPhone 4? Maybe there is a new restaurant in the Detroit area that Marty is putting out of business because of inadequate parking. Perhaps he's preparing for the tearful reunion with Jr as he transitions back into society and the billion dollar lawsuit that is certain to be mindlessly threatened. With the man of many hats (at least two that we know of) the list of possible excuses is endless.

I'm not worried. My review will go fine.  I have complete faith in his narcissistic stupidity and he'll be back before you can say "Marty who?"