Visually Offensive, Profoundly Stupid and Overwhelmingly Pungent Mongoose

Unreal. Just friggin unreal.

Elder Dawg Rides Again

Greetings CoMmies.

This report is going to be short, sweet and to the point. You don't really need me to point out that Marty Prehn is a lying, worthless, pathetic idiot - that's already a well established fact. The latest Marty crap is just more of the same lies we've seen hundreds of times.

Yes, I saw his long post claiming he's been invited to speak in front of the Michigan legislative house judiciary committee. We all saw it and I'm sure we simultaneously thought the same thing: "Ha! What a load of bullshit!" There is a good reason for that, it's a load of bullshit.

Yes, I saw his great celebratory post claiming Pete Lucido introduced a visitation bill just to fulfill a promise he made Marty. I saw Marty already claiming he would consult Pete and the committee about amendments to this bill. Of course, Marty wasn't smart enough to read that it's not a bill, just an amendment to an existing bill. I guess Marty will be amending the amendment. Marty Wow, you're a lying moron.

Yes, I also saw his claims that he would be inviting Ms. Kasem to speak during the Chism hearing (the same one the dumb ass must have forgotten he wasn't allowed to speak at), and to speak with him in front of a joint session of the Michigan house and senate. Will you be speaking in front of the joint session the same day as your committee testimony, or is that scheduled for another day, Marty? If it's different days, does that mean two separate fundraisers for gas money?

By now, I'm sure all of our usual readers have picked up on the different attitude I have while doing this latest report. Let me attempt to explain my obvious indifference. I've often wondered why people let him continue with his obvious lies. Why don't our new readers in Minnesota speak up about what Marty did to Florence? Why don't the various organizations Marty has attached himself to, that figured out he was a fraud, speak up? Why does Pete Lucido let Marty continue to use his name in his lies? The answer is pretty obvious in my opinion. It doesn't really affect them negatively because they know most people just ignore the village idiot. They aren't concerned about Marty's past and future scam victims because it doesn't reflect badly on them. They really just don't care.

Bottom line is this, CoMmies:

No matter what Marty claims, what lies he tells, who's name he drops, one thing will never change. Marty will be the same worthless, pathetic, attention starved, vindictive, loser tomorrow that he is today and has been for many years. No amount of grandiose lies and claims will ever change that. When Marty dies, he will be alone. No patriot guard escort, no twenty one gun salute, no long eulogy given by celebrities or elected officials, nothing. No one will even notice he is gone. That's because his entire life is nothing more than a Facebook lie.

In Marty's own words:

"I AM WHAT I AM!"

I couldn't agree more, you lying and worthless loser.

Marty Prehn: "Master Baiter" Extraordinaire!

Oh, he's good. A Master, in fact:

Nice to see that he hasn't lost his "touch"...

Justice is a fickle bitch.

Having made zero traction with four years of threats of RICO lawsuits, immediate arrests and lengthy prison terms, the Special Agent has taken matters "into his own hands", as it were, and the hunter has now become the hunted.

That's right, Flem Ling, you are now officially being hunted, stalked, harassed or whatever the hell Marty does in his abundant spare time.

As is par, this moron can't even use the jargon correctly:

I can assure you, Marty, no one on earth is interested in any romantic relationship with you - even deceptively - online or in the real world.

While we all celebrated the greatest birthday in the world since the first Christmas, Marty went into stupidity overload, sitting in the Boarding House of the Stars alone and miserable like every other Saturday night. He decided he needed to lash out at Sean Fleming in an attempt to equalize his pain. The bitter realization that there is still nobody in this world that gives a rat's ass about his birthday, or any other day in his life for that matter, must have pushed the Special Ed Agent over the cliff. You're a pathetic, immature loser, Marty.

Most of the posts Marty made during his great day of birth were his same old cyberstalker empty threats aimed at Flem Ling. There is no point in reposting them here because we've seen them all before. For some reason, Marty seemed to think posting the transcript from his big PPO hearing bothered Flem because he kept doing it over and over. It was fun watching him tag Pete Lucido and all of the lawyers on his friends list. That should really scare the crap out of Fleming.

News Flash, Marty: Those lawyers couldn't care less about your pissing match with Sean. At least not until you pony up what they call a retainer. And no, Special Agent, I don't mean one of those things kids get after they get their braces removed. Pay up or shut up, you idiot. Besides, who in their right mind would even consider representing you?

The most exciting part of Marty's day of posting was the debut of his latest superhero persona - CATFISH HUNTER now joins the ranks of Marty the Mongoose, Elder Avenger and Elder DAWG! In reality, he's really only known as that fat, retarded guy who wanders up and down Gratiot bothering people.

Judge "Corsica" will be interested in hearing about Marty's new, aggressive identity and mission in life.

Marty Wow!

Hijack Alert - Saint Clair Shores Memorial Day Parade!

Code Red!

"Everyone is welcome" is Mongoosespeak for "Personal invitation".

Restraining order or not, Marty is going to march in that damn parade if it kills him.  Free candy and a new shirt seals the deal.

"Bite me, Rubello!"

Happy Birthday, Flo!

Shunned by Eastpointe and Roseville, Marty Prehn Goes Rouge with Private Gratiot Cruise!

Co-Grand Marshals, Marty Prehn and some black lady.

Spring has sprung, CoMmies! 

As the buds form on the trees and temps begin to rise, we all know what the end of winter signals. It's the season for lies and fake events to come forth from the Mongoose!

Now is the time, the time is now for the yearly Elder Dawg traditional upcoming events announcement.

This year's Summer of the Mongoose might be a bit different than years gone by. As Marty's life has been in a death spiral once again, his grandiosity - and funding - might be a little lacking. With the recent long-term incarceration of Jr, combined with the loss of his adoptive Polish mother and biggest successful scam, Marty is left with no one to beg to support him. For the first time in his pathetic, freeloading life, Marty is having to attempt to support himself. The odds of him successfully doing this are not in his favor. Nothing is.

The last couple of years, Marty's place on the Eastpointe Cruise committee guaranteed him a prime hijack opportunity. We saw the cruise renamed several times into things like Cruisin' to stop the Bruisin' or the Dan Haggerty Memorial Cruise. The Mongoose was able to use his only skill, the ability to lie with no shame, to pretend the cruise was his personal event. Various name changes, reserved spots with tents in the median, inviting people to ride with him, announcing whichever charity he was attempting to scam as the benefactor. Marty was in bullshitter heaven.

After the Eastpointe Mayor and Cruise Committee could no longer stand the lying idiot, Marty was given the boot. The Mongoose was undeterred and decided he would just hijack the Roseville Cruise instead. He even announced his "Unity Cruise on the New Route 66". It just happened to be on the same day as the Roseville Cruise. Then tragedy struck Elder Dawg. Roseville decided to cancel their cruise and no amount of begging by Marty could change their mind. Now that Marty is banned from the cruise in Eastpointe, and Roseville is no longer having one, suddenly we never heard another mention of Marty's Unity Cruise. Looks like the Mongoose won't be doing any cruise hosting this year, unless he goes solo. He's that good. Experienced leader.

Everyone here also knows there can't possibly be a Mongoose Summer without his annual fake hero event. Marty announces some version of this event every year with the exact same results. It doesn't happen and Marty just pretends he never mentioned it. Last year, Marty actually made a little progress in the production of his delusional hero-fest. He managed to get Flo to pay a deposit on a venue so that people could call and confirm the location of Marty's star studded, red carpet affair. Unfortunately, that was as far as he made it which ended up costing Barrister Gardens money. This just adds a complication to Marty claiming he's trying again this year. Word

is now out among various venues that Marty could target for this year's event. Nobody will be letting Marty use their name to help him attempt to scam a few idiots into purchasing tickets to a fake event this year. It's starting to look like their will be no "Meros or Heros" getting lied to this year.

The worst part of Marty's upcoming Mongoose summer is his Facebook situation. Marty no longer has the audience he needs in order to find enough idiots that will believe him. As of this writing, he only has 131 friends, not the over 4,000 he's had in the past. That's just not enough people that might see his latest lies. With no one to see the lies, what good does it really do to tell them? 

Kinda like a tree falling in the woods behind Gilbert's Lodge, eh Marty?

"Welcome Home, Son (sniff sniff)"

Oh, Marty. You're such a fuck up.

"MONGOOSE JR OUT!"

Update 3/17/17

• In effort to keep the lice population in check, Jr had a free makeover, courtesy of the taxpayers. Thanks, Schuette on Duty!

He'll be the Belle of the Ball at tonight's dance!

Marty and the Hobos Double Date

Three down, 198 to go to make his monthly quota.

Justice Looms For Jr

This sorry bastard isn't even worth writing an article about.

Good job, Marty.  You tutored him well.

It's Facebook Official!

Admitting the problem is half the battle.