Marty Prehn: Advocate Without a Cause

As we continue our in depth coverage of the world's biggest idiot, today we'll do a basic review of Marty's many different advocacy adventures. After a quick glance, I already know we could never cover all of his great causes in one article. We'll touch on just a few of them today.

When reviewing Marty's advocacy, you have to start with Elder Abuse. This was the start of Marty's career as a fake advocate. While undergoing his internet hate campaign against his family after he was removed from the conductors seat on the gravy train, Marty discovered there were people who publicly battled elder abuse. Since Marty had neglected and financially abused his own mother, he was a natural fit for this group. It was an easy transition for the Mongoose. Just blame your siblings for what you were actually guilty of, get lucky that no one will bother to question your claims and you're in the club! It didn't take Marty long to figure out that being an advocate was the perfect cover for begging people to support you. Instead of mooching off his parents, he'd rely on total strangers to send him money based on his claims of helping others, aka "Good Works". We all know now that the only person Marty was helping was himself.

As the donations began arriving, Marty figured out he had found a great alternative to getting a job.  He then began to build up his fake credentials all over the Internet. Certified County Advocate, National Elder Advocate, National Task Force Coordinator and anything else he could dream up. But then the same thing that always happens to Marty started - the truth surfaced. Anytime anyone begins to pay attention to what Marty is saying, they figure out he is a liar. Soon, any of Marty's supporters with an ounce of intelligence figured out he was completely full of shit and distanced themselves from him. Groups stopped letting him post his lies on their sites as the donations dried up. It was time for Marty to find a new cause with victims who weren't familiar with him.

Since Marty's lies were exposed on the Internet, it only makes sense that his next cause would become "cyberstalking", not dissimilar to an abuser of an old lady becoming an elder advocate. "Hiding in plain sight", as it were.  Cyberstalking is a form of bullying, ergo, suddenly Marty is waging war on bullies and cyberstalkers. The only part Marty didn't consider is the fight against bullies is being fought by rich celebrities. They do public service spots and encourage kids to stop teasing each other. There are no networks set up to promote people sending donations. There just wasn't any money to be made on this cause. It didn't help that Marty was one of the biggest internet bullies anyone had ever seen. It didn't take long for Marty to figure out this cause wasn't going to pay his rent or Dimitri's tab. Time to find another cause to attempt to make a few bucks from. But what?

While watching the news, Marty stumbled onto another great advocacy idea. He saw a story of a restaurant in Berkley, MI about a restaurant that wanted to expand its parking into an adjacent neighborhood. Neighbors took issue and a challenge to the city government was being led by an elderly veteran. This issue would be right up Marty's alley. There were several factors involved that Marty felt he could take full advantage of. During his elder abuse scam, Marty had somehow managed to find Florence. This is still the crowning jewel of his advocacy career, as she became a monthly source of money. If he had managed to con this senior into that, why not try to add another? The fact that the man in Berkley was as old as Flo, on top of being a veteran, made him the ideal target for Marty. Marty's claims of being a veteran and an advocate for the elderly, combined with the news coverage of the issue, which we know Marty craves, were the perfect combination. Suddenly Marty started making the hour drive to another city's council meetings to speak on behalf of the residents. He was never asked to speak, claimed he was this man's guardian angel, and was now calling himself a "advocate for the public". All of that was just an attempt to get close to an old man he hoped to sign up as a regular donor. Unfortunately for Marty, this elder was still able to think and therefore able to sniff out Marty's bullshit story. He let Marty know he didn't need a guardian angel nor a public advocate. Sorry Marty, no money to be made here and the news crews didn't want to interview you or even put your name (that's P-R-E-H-N for members of the media) in their stories. Time to move on to the next great cause.

While looking through upcoming Macomb county events, Marty found yet another cause he could try to insert himself into. There was a charity walk scheduled in honor of a woman horrifically murdered by her husband. Marty had used his near death experience with a rolling office chair that had bumped into his leg as a way to get revenge on his roommate that discovered Marty had been stealing his change for gas money. Who better to join the crusade against domestic violence than a fellow victim. Marty began posting DV stories and linking anything he could to the DV cause. But as usual with Marty, it didn't take long for people to realize he was once again completely full of crap. Not to mention, not many people could connect a 6'3" 400lb man to a cause that is usually geared towards women who have been beaten by men half the size of Marty. Nobody was seeing his huge ass as a victim that would need their financial support. No donations translates to time for Marty to find yet another cause to champion.

Of course we all know where Marty went next. Sticking with the fundraising walk theme, combined with a celebrity suicide, Marty moved on to Out of the Darkness. We heard all about his great Nautical Smile/OPA weekend that never happened. When Marty started trying to hijack yet another suicide awareness walk, it's organizer quickly figured out that Marty was a lying idiot. She told Marty that he should just hold his own walk since he had such great resources to put to use. That's how we got to where we are today. Marty's great OPA charity. Constant "BREAKING NEWS" predictions, unnamed corporate sponsors, yet still not one cent donated. Marty made a good choice in making Robin Williams the celebrity focus of this scam. A beloved dead man can't say "MARTY WHO?"

We all know this latest Mongoose advocacy will be ending soon. Once again, it's a dead end for Marty. No donations are going directly to him and everyone associated to this latest cause is learning that he is a fraud. Sound familiar?

As we've watched Marty this past year, the list of his advocacy claims is bigger than his enormous ass. We didn't even bother to mention most. Human trafficking, tea party agenda, free speech rights of anti Arab protesters, civil rights, renters rights, code enforcement, jailed drug dealers, just to name a few. I do find it very interesting that Marty has decided not to advocate for one cause that should really be a big deal to him. Where is his crusade to free the leader of the Revolutionary Party, Director of Lawless America and Marty's man crush, Bill Windsor? What am I missing Mr Lawless America Regional Director? Your hero could sure use your advocacy right now. Let me guess why you've remained silent on this issue: You know Inmate #14-1898 has already cleaned out the lemmings so there are no donations left for you? 

And let's face it. Those idiots don't have any money to begin with. He should know better than anyone.