Marty Prehn Goes on Advocate Hiatus

Dear readers, paid subscribers and corporate sponsors;

As we wait for the next quart of bile to stream out of Marty's mouth, I can't help but wonder what the Mongoose has been up to lately. Is Marty spending his every waking hour preparing for his big court showdown with Flemshady? Has he been tied up researching his next advocacy cause to hijack? Maybe writing more letters on the behalf of others to claim Flemshady is stalking him at places he doesn't live? Or, is he now unable to get off of Linda's couch in his weakened condition while he waits for Jr to raise the money for his heart transplant? Right idea, Jr, but aim for a full brain transplant. I'll bet even his own family and classmates would rally behind that cause.

In reality, Marty has taken his Mongoose laziness to a new level. I would have thought the hype machine would be going full speed ahead for his upcoming Protection Order defense. We all know Marty could never step into a courtroom without a press conference with the national media in attendance. And, of course, he could never be a defendant without predicting fireworks and upcoming courtroom arrests, complete with cuffs being slapped on, for numerous people who aren't involved and won't even be there. I'll admit, I'm a little disappointed in Perry Mason-Prehn's lack of threats and lies. Has Marty finally reached the point were it's now too much work to tell his usual lies? It's almost as if his creativity dried up, like so many discarded tissues found near his bottle of hand lotion last year.

Another sign that Marty has become even more worthless than he already was, he hasn't tried to become an advocate for any new hot media topics. Surely his alleged pilot's license makes him an expert and gives reason to exploit the families of the recent airliner tragedy in France. Is Marty now too lazy to perform his "good works" from the couch or toilet at Linda's? How long has it been since Elder Dawg worked behind the scenes to bring great change to society? There has to be a petition somewhere he needs to sign and take credit for. Is there not a victim somewhere that needs Marty as a guardian angel, despite the fact they have never met him or even heard of him? Maybe if Marty sent Jamie Cook more pictures of himself to put on the front page of the Macomb Daily, that Dr Chism follow up article will finally get written. Come on, Marty. Think out of the box!

Could all of this inactivity actually be a sign of real trouble for the Mongoose? Has his alleged heart condition become so bad, it takes every ounce of energy Marty has just to waddle out to the Mongoosemobile and go on a McRun a couple of times a day? Could Jr actually have been honest about his love and concern for his father and best friend needing a heart transplant? In the now famous words of our old friend Bob Cookout, Marty is so full of shit you could unscrew the top of his head and dip it out with a spoon! The only reason for Marty's latest inactivity is nothing more than laziness and lack of motivation. He's even become so worthless, others have to attack his enemies for him. Hi, Carla!

I'm only left to wonder this: Has Marty finally just decided it's no longer worth the effort to be an idiotic ass? Is being a complete idiot now just too much work for the Mongoose? Has Marty gotten so fat that he can no longer lift his arms long enough to post a few threats, hateful comments, and outright lies? Or has Marty just been beaten into submission? Stay tuned to find out and thank you for having more interest in Marty Prehn than everyone he's ever met in his pathetic, miserable life.

Love and kisses,

Tut