Marty Prehn Holds City Council Hostage!

...snubbed by elfen meeting regular

As the Christmas season continues and the end of the year approaches, we here at CoM, as well as the Saint Clair Shores city council, find ourselves being held hostage by a fat idiot in a Santa suit. Since Marty has yet to make good on any of his on-camera lies - and to avoid any unwanted ass groping - the council has given the Santa gig to one of the local elves. 

Let's review the most recent official city agenda items that Marty failed to wrap up, shall we?

I'll start with the great used car sales crime wave that befell the sleepy Detroit suburb. Marty was reporting this code violation crime to the city council and the last we heard, documents would be provided to refute the claims of the scofflaws that were perpetrating this heinous act. Marty was going to prove beyond a doubt that they were lying to cover their criminal activity. I wish he'd hurry up because I'm tired of waiting for those fireworks. 

We also have Marty's great charity organization, OPA. Marty was scheduled to release the identities of his "unnamed" corporate sponsors right after the elections. He didn't want his great announcement to steal all the media coverage of the election results. It's been quite some time since the elections now - what is Marty waiting for? Why hasn't he given these generous corporations the credit they deserve for supporting his latest great cause? Is he just trying to let the suspense build even more or did he forget he told that lie? Did he hope we would forget he said it? Where are the Smiley Buttons and flashlight hats? Figure it out Marty, we never forget!

Marty had also made great promises of exposing all of his "cyber stalkers" to the city council. He was going to post their pictures on city websites and reveal their identities at an upcoming council meeting. Is this a case of Marty not wanting to reveal too much before his investigation was complete? Or did Linda let the idiot know that every time he attacked these people, it caused problems for her? I can imagine the conversation now: "If you want to continue to live here and mooch off me Marty, you better STFU and leave those people alone. Daddy doesn't like it when they show up at work and you hide in the back while others have to listen to their complaints about you!"

The next great Marty project that comes to mind is the planting of an evergreen tree in the park to honor the members of the Lakeview class of 74 who have passed. Marty went before the council to ask permission to plant the tree that was going to be paid for by donations. Did this tree ever get planted? Is the tree sitting in Linda's apartment decorated with lights and tinsel? Did Marty just pocket the donations knowing the council never takes him seriously and wouldn't expect anything to get done because they know he completely full of crap? Maybe Marty is just waiting until spring so the weather will be nice for the nationally televised dedication ceremony.

As we all know, this list could get longer than Marty's tab at Dimitri's, so I'll skip to the present. At the latest council meeting Marty, instead of giving an update on any of his previous lies, skipped right to his next one. He told the council he was organizing a memorial service for a veteran who died last March. This vet had been involved with a hot button topic the council had mentioned the last couple of meetings Marty missed while hiding out after Bill Windsor's arrest. He said he had been working with this man's family and a memorial would be held at the Bruce Post VFW this coming March. Sounds like Marty is having trouble finding funeral buffets to crash so he's planning one for a year after this man's death. Where was Marty when this man passed last March? 

A simple phone call to the Bruce Post also reveals that they know nothing about Marty making plans for them. After speaking to the commander, it was made very clear that Marty had absolutely nothing to do with any events that are held at the VFW. The commander was offended enough by Marty's lie that he said the post would send a letter to each council member and the mayor to let them know that Marty doesn't represent them and a post member would present any events that the council needed to know about, not Marty. I'm sure the council already knew that!!

In closing, all I can really ask is will we ever get the closure of Marty's "good works" we all crave? Will Marty ever stop lying with the hopes nobody will remember? Will this idiot ever realize that his lies all get documented here and aren't going to just go away when he moves to the next one? And one last question for Marty - Where the hell is the evergreen tree, you moron? 

Merry Christmas and OPA to everyone!