Marty Prehn Retires From "Career of Nothingness"

With his government communications revoked (aka Facebook), Marty is left with using his felon son to carry on his threats of arrest, prison, and lawsuits. 

As Marty rides out his Facebook timeout living the good life at Linda's expense, I'm left wondering what's next? As he has proven in the past, Marty desperately craves any attention he can grab. Where is he getting his attention satisfaction without his adoring public watching his every move?

Marty has to be focusing his tremendous drive and ambition on something. Usually his top priority is finding people to support his laziness through any means he can think up. Now that he's found a free place to stay, what is Marty spending his time working on? What does the Mongoose do to keep his incredible life moving forward?

Apparently Marty has retired from his Special Agent job with FBI, CIA, DOJ, PB&J. You no longer see or hear any of his latest arrest and handcuff possibilities. Did all of the alphabet agencies finally let the greatest agent ever retire to a life of leisure? Will all of his government employee retirement benefits now start so that he can give up his 20 hour a week minimum wage job? I bet Linda sure hopes he can start contributing to some of the bills. 

We know Marty is going to have plenty of stuff going on in the next couple of weeks. With his domestic violence case and Jr's sentencing approaching at the end of the month, he'll have a few chances to perjure himself and try to get every law enforcement agency he stumbles into to harass people he's mad at. Has Marty been so busy flexing his great legal mind that it doesn't bother him that nobody noticed his absence from Facebook? 

It has also become clear that Marty's hatred has been focused on a new target. All of his empty threats and useless intimidation have been focused on the ex landlord and his fiancé. All of the public posts we have seen from Marty have been aimed at the people who helped him when no one else would. Marty seems to think that when he skipped out on his rent and abandoned his trash, his landlord should have hermetically sealed his room and stored his garbage until he grew a pair of balls and found the courage needed to contact them. Unfortunately for Marty, his ex friends knew him well enough to know that he is a coward and wouldn't be calling anytime soon. I'm sure as soon as Marty is allowed to post on Facebook again we'll see plenty of threats of pending arrest, federal prison time, and multi-million dollar lawsuits for these poor people who are feeling the curse associated with helping Marty. 

Marty has become such a complete puss that now he has even resorted to having Jr call people and threaten them for him. I'm sure hearing the little hood rat Marty Jr tell you that there will be trouble if you don't do what Marty wants really strikes fear into a person. Isn't repeated harassing phone calls to his father's perceived enemies a probation violation and won't bode well at his sentencing? Good luck in prison Jr. When Tyrone leaves that honey bun on your bunk, it's not because he thinks you're a great guy. 

As we head into Marty's uncertain future, here are the questions I ask: Is Linda paying attention to how Marty treats people he can no longer use? Has she figured out that she will never be able to get the smell out of her couch? How long will it be before Marty doesn't bother to work at all because he's got it made at Linda's? Does she realize that even when she can't stand Marty any longer, she won't be able to get rid of him? 

There is a good reason people always say never feed a stray animal. Once they find a source of food, they just won't go away! Good Luck getting rid of your stray Mongoose, Linda!