Marty Prehn, Necrophilia Advocate

I hope everyone enjoyed their Valentine's Day weekend and got the chance to spend it with their loved ones. Most people enjoyed all of the traditional Valentine's Day niceties like giving or receiving flowers, cards, romantic dinners and such. Most people actually have some kind of love in their heart that they share with those who mean the most to them. Then we have that blundering idiot Marty Prehn. He spent his weekend doing the same thing he does every single day of his pathetic life - showcasing his stupidity on Facebook. 

This past weekend, Marty showed us who his Valentine is (was). He spent two straight days exclusively posting every picture of Dan Haggerty that he could scam from other's Facebook pages . No pictures of his children, grandchildren or even his "adoptive Polish mother who took him under her wings" - just his lifelong friend who he spent 10 minutes with after waiting in line for an autograph - and he left the autograph with the rest of his trash when he skipped out on his rent! This shows how mentally ill Marty is when it comes to celebrity worship. It's hard to imagine that Marty could miss the memorial service for a person he's so over the top obsessed with, but only in death. Not dissimilar to how he treated his own mother, whose service he also blew off.

Here is a recent post by Marty that shows us just how close Marty was to his dear departed lifelong personal friend:

I can only speak for myself, but if a close friend of mine had lost a daughter, I'd know about it and remember her name. I wouldn't be forced to ask strangers on Facebook for the details of an enormous tragedy in my friend's life. This just shows us that Marty really has no idea of what a friend actually is. Obviously, he's never had a real life friend so he has no frame of reference. Maybe you should log off of Facebook and venture out into the real world, Marty - that cold, cruel world that mocks you wherever you go. Where people hold their kids tightly when you walk by. "Don't laugh at the fat, stupid man, children. Just be glad you were born normal". Oh, that's right. The last time he tried that, he was banned from City Council meetings.

All of the veteran Marty watchers who read here know full well what's coming next for the Mongoose. When Elder Dawg doesn't have a living celebrity or their child to stalk, or someone whose legislation he's attempting to take credit for, he returns to his standard scam. When all else fails, it must be time to hold an event! None of Marty's imaginary events have ever taken place but it's still entertaining to see what his demented imagination can dream up next. Here is his latest mental masturbation:

This screen shot was posted in the comments of our previous article, but at the time I was too overwhelmed to dissect it. I'll give it a little more coverage today. 

Marty starts off this comment by admitting he has delusions on a regular basis. To me, this is just further proof that he really does suffer from some sort of mental illness. We've seen Marty post his "visions" many times and his latest target is usually the subject. Who can forget all of his Terry Schiavo fantasies, including all the "signs" she was sending him? Bottom line, Marty proves he's crazy on a fairly regular basis. How long until Marty is seeing Dan's face in the dog crap he stepped in while walking to Carquest? "Can't you see it in the name of the color of paint I'm delivering? It's maroon!" Yeah, that's Dan calling you a moron from beyond the grave.

After you filter though all of the ridiculous Dan crap, you see the part of this comment I find most predictably fascinating. Marty is announcing a Dan Haggerty Memorial Dinner to be held in the Detroit suburb of Washington, MI. Of course, it has to be held there because, as demonstrated last week, Marty can't manage to get himself any further than walking distance from his son's living room floor. Marty also neglects to mention what the venue for this dinner will be. I guess that info will be in the forthcoming "details". 

The one and only detail Marty does provide could really be the most important. Elder Dawg says this event will take place Friday July 17th 2016. Marty's reason for picking that date could be a couple of things, but they both relate to the Eastpointe Car Cruise, as that Friday is the start of the cruise weekend. Has Marty figured out he's not going to be welcomed back to the cruise committee after making an ass of himself both last year and during this past mayoral election? Is this Marty attempting to spite Eastpointe by holding one of his star studded, nationally televised events at the same time? If it is, I'm sure the committee and mayor are already terrified their cruise will become second fiddle to Marty's blowout extravaganza. 

The other hypothesis could be that Marty hasn't given up hope he's going to be on the committee again and this is the beginning of this year's hijack attempt. If this is the case, how long until we see Marty offering the Grand Marshall spot in the Dan Haggerty Memorial Cruise to whoever his scam target is that day? You know it's coming. I guess we'll just have to wait for the much anticipated Facebook event page to get the answers we are looking for.

As usual, anytime Marty announces his next great imaginary event, my mind is full of questions. Who will be hosting this dinner with Marty? Glen Campbell and his kids? Doc Chism and his greedy brats? Maybe Ellen, Jimmy Fallon, or Paula Deen? What cause will Marty turn this dinner into a fundraiser for? Who are the corporate sponsors for this extravaganza? What role will Denny McLain and his foot be playing? Will Malik Shabazz be saying a prayer to Allah, despite the fact that Dan was a Christian? How much are the tickets and which fake Marty entity will be selling them? But the most important question of all is...

Will Marty bestow upon himself his newly announced Dan Haggerty Humanitarian Award and what is the idiot going to use for the statue?