Breaking News: Marty Prehn Combs Hair!

Good day to all you loyal readers of CoM. This is a big day for me as I'm posting my first official report on Marty Prehn. I have been blessed with the good fortune of Marty's great City Council address coinciding with my first writing. It's was an appearance that is very report worthy. 

While studying Mr Cookout's work the last couple of months, I've noticed his style of posting Marty's comments was a very effective way to point out the lies of Mr Prehn. I will use this technique on today's report. 

During the build up to Marty's latest "State of the Mongoose" address, he must have become aware that his friends only Facebook posts were not reaching his target audience. He began commenting on this blog to make sure his threat targets were fully aware of their impending doom. As I'm sure everyone is now familiar with the comments, I'll only be highlighting important lines from them. Here is part of a comment Marty blessed everyone with several days ago:

"See you again real soon and I will be revealing who you are at the next SCS City Council meeting and posting your photo on their webpage to warn SCS resident's what cyber stalker's look like."

Of course no photo was ever posted on that web page. Marty's flip phone is unable to post photos anywhere and I guess his regular Mongeese were unable or unwilling to help him this week. But no worries, for the fear monger that Marty is could still announce to the city the identities of his "cyberstalkers". He even gave them a final warning on this blog the day of his great speech:

AnonymousSeptember 15, 2014 at 10:29 AM
"Tonight LW, SDF, RRNH and the Italian Stallion will be exposed as cyber stalkers."

As is the case with all of Marty's devious plots to spite everyone he is mad at, things didn't go as planned. Anytime Marty manages to get in front of a camera, his Elder Avenger instincts take over and he immediately has to focus on the greatness of Marty Prehn. He begins by explaining why he was wearing a shirt that is about 4 sizes too small and shows WAY too much of his enormous man boobs. If a female were to walk into the council chambers dressed like he was, she would have been arrested for indecent exposure. If you're going to wear a shirt like that, I have two words for you Marty: SPORTS BRA!  Maybe even throw that ratty sport coat of yours on.

Marty continues his address by doing what he does best, dropping every name he can remember from the event. Unfortunately, Marty must have been distracted by certain audience members that I'll mention later. He was only able to remember a few of the people who were there. Several family members of the woman the walk was named after that he had managed to write down. Marty was so flustered that the only local media member he could name was his supposed best friend Jamie Cook, who didn't bother to mention Marty in his newspaper article about the event. 

Next, Marty moves on to his upcoming Robin Williams/suicide prevention event this weekend. Someone must have provided Marty with a cease and desist notice because this week, there was no mention of his sponsorship of the event or his renaming it to "Operation Patch Adams". This left Marty time to focus on his own imaginary two day event - Nautical Smile - an event Marty sought council approval for a couple of weeks ago, but no one even paid attention to. Marty claims he is now working with Walmart to procure some smiley face buttons like the ones their employees wear for this festival. Maybe one of the Walmart gift cards donated to his legal defense fund can be used for this? They obviously weren't useful in hiring an attorney to put his sisters and brothers behind bars. Nor did they keep his drug dealing kid out of the Hackel Hotel (common term used by Detroit area locals to describe the county jail) for an extended stay.

This brings us to the part we've all really been waiting for. None of us really watched last night for his update on his good works. Everyone wanted to see his follow up to comments like this one:

"There also seems to have been a lot of activity at the house on 10 Mile where zoning enforcement officers were taking photos of a black car that was on display with a FOR SALE sign in a residential area and a drone was used to videotape the excessive clutter in the back yard of this home."

These issues actually pertain to the city council so Marty was at the proper venue to bring them up. He quotes a city ordinance and points out that the people he is complaining about are present in the audience. He names Guy Moceri and Robin Williams as the code violators with a car for sale in their driveway. What Marty didn't seem to notice was Robin was now standing behind him waiting to be the next speaker. 

At this point, Marty attempts to move on to the main event on his fight card: It was time for Marty's big cyber stalker exposure! The only problem was Marty had wasted so much time touting all of his great works, he didn't leave himself enough time for exposing all the criminals. All Marty was able to get out was that three stalkers had been identified and he had spoken to a prosecutor about them. The time buzzer went off before he could actually get any names out to expose them. As if this wasn't embarrassment enough, the worst was yet to come. The Fireworks were truly about to start!

As Marty returned to his seat, I'm sure the ass pucker factor for him went off the charts as he saw Robin step to the podium. What could she possibly have to say that might reflect negatively on the man who regularly addresses the council? What could a novice at public speaking say to dispute what Marty says? What Marty didn't realize was it was his own words that would be used, not hers. Why didn't Marty make good on his constant threat to serve a Protection Order on her and Guy right then and there?

Robin begins by questioning why she is being targeted for selling a personal vehicle at her home. Marty failed to realize the vehicle being sold was registered to a family member so therefor it is perfectly legal for it to be sold at the home. But what came next was the best. Robin read to the council Marty's own comment listed above. She questions why the city is flying a drone over her house and if they had FAA approval to do so. The council immediately reassured her there were no drone flights and they don't have a drone to do that with. Robin again points out that Marty is posting online that they did this because of his complaints. After several sideways looks at Marty taking up two chairs right in front of them, they again reassure Robin that Marty was lying and it didn't happen. This was said while several council members can be heard trying to suppress their laughter at Marty's claim. 

So, to sum up Marty's latest appearance at the council meeting I'll just say this: It was a failure of Mongoose proportions and as you could see by that shirt, that's HUGE! Instead of Marty exposing all of his criminal cyber stalkers, a small and unassuming female tax paying resident of the community who is actually a victim of Marty's bullshit wrath confirmed - on camera - what the council members already knew but were too polite to put on record: The Fat Guy is a Lying Idiot! 

Do I have a great new job or what?

Long live Marty. Long live the Chronicle!

Ed. Note: Due to the outpouring of support, Spamanon's comment suspension will be lifted. People seem to believe his comments add a lot to this blog and apparently Marty listens to him as well. After he was urged to by Spamanon, Marty finally dragged a comb through that greasy mop on his head. Maybe Spam could do us the favor of giving Marty some fashion tips because what we saw at the council meeting cannot be unseen!