I hope all of you loyal readers of CoM (not to be confused with MPC or "Marty Prehn Chronicles") had a great weekend. Were any of you able to catch all of the media coverage of Marty's spectacular weekend of good works? That's ok, we weren't able to find any news coverage either. Apparently Marty's Nautical Smile/Operation Patch Adams weekend was nothing more than a fat idiot walking around sweating in a different dumb ass hat than usual. I'm sure everyone is as shocked as I am. And he raised the same amount of donations as he did the number of walkers on Team OPA - zero, zip, nada. A big, fat mongoose egg.
Marty spent the Friday leading up to his weekend of greatness padding his Facebook page with stories for all of the media that were sure to research him for their lead stories. He posted a video of the biggest triumph he's ever been able to convince people he was a part of - the Dr Chism story. He also posted a two year old picture of himself photobombing an unsuspecting television anchor. On the third straight post of the same photo, he added yet another lie about a star-studded, nationally aired tribute to Robin Williams to be broadcasted live from Macomb County in 2015!
What's with this guy and his bullshit nationally televised primetime specials? How many of these shows has Marty claimed he is going to be producing? This latest show isn't scheduled for broadcast until 2015. I guess that will give Marty plenty of time to milk his event for all it's worth before it becomes obvious it was just another one of his lies. What happened to his elder abuse live broadcast with Grizzly Adams and Betty White? Wasn't Doris Roberts also in the mix on that one? How come the network has changed from NBC to ABC? Was there a bidding war? Marty went so far as to tell "Team Chism" he had the official date, but neglected to say when exactly it is. At least the Chisms know Marty well enough to not even bother asking when their live TV appearance was to be. "Humor that fat asshole in Michigan. Otherwise, who knows what kind of lies he'll be Facebooking about us!"
Speaking of Team Chism and Marty, when is that Hallmark movie about Marty and the kids saving the life of the good doctor coming out? Or was it going to be on the Lifetime Channel? I don't think even Marty ever knew for sure. I do wonder how Marty and those cable channels managed to get the doctor's permission to make a movie about him when Marty didn't even know where Chism had gone on vacation with his wife, prompting his all-points ELDER ALERT - complete with physical descriptions of Mrs Chism and the plate information of possible getaway vehicles. Another pesky detail that Marty can't be bothered with when he's lying - which is pretty much whenever he opens his mouth or leeches someone's internet.
Why is it Marty has to make all of these claims of pending television appearances? Does he believe that being on TV is the pinnacle of success and fame? Forget a Nobel prize or a Pulitzer, prime time television is where the really important advocates are. Are all these claims by Marty nothing more than overcompensation for him being an absolute failure at every aspect of his life? He failed as a husband twice, as a father, grandfather, his mother's caregiver, stock boy at JC Penny and still can't get full-time at Carquest. I could go on and on but I think you get my point.
Everything will work out for Marty and his quest for television fame. He still has that twice a month, three minute television program he's a regular on. Thank God for the public comment portion of the SCS city council meetings airing on the public access channel! Without it, no one would know about his latest good works and the used car sales crime wave that has besieged the city. Marty wouldn't possibly miss these two chances a month to let us all get a glimpse of those incredible man boobs under a much too tight shirt. Actually, it's almost pornographic.
But if all goes as predicted, at least he'll have a new T-shirt to wear next Monday!
