I'm sure by now all of our readers have seen a video of someone taking the "Ice Bucket Challenge". This challenge, motivated to raise funds and awareness for ALS, has gone viral and you see more people doing it every day. Now that this trend has exploded, we here at CoM are waiting for the Mongoose to jump in head first with a new money raising scam of his own. When will we see a "Chicken Bucket Challenge"?
As Marty continues to have his civil right of free speech "tamped down" by Facebook, he's had plenty of time to watch YouTube videos and work on his fundraising. Now that his sobbing video to a paroled incarcerated soldier has disappeared from Linda's page, will it soon be replaced with Marty's next attempt to draw attention to himself?
It's only a matter of time before Marty tries to seize upon the great popularity and fundraising potential of a bucket challenge. Of course, Marty's challenge will have to have the Elder Dawg's unique spin. Pouring ice cold water over his head just doesn't seem like Marty's style. That's too much work for him, not to mention NOBODY wants to see his wet T-shirt. Besides, someone could sneak some soap in the water. This is why we predict Marty's next scam could be the Chicken Bucket Challenge.
In the Ice Bucket Challenge, participants are supposed to donate $10 to charity, pour ice cold water over their head and then challenge three others to do the same. Marty's challenge would be similar in concept but geared more towards his selfish needs. He will ask people to donate $10 to his good works, send him a bucket of chicken, then challenge three others to do likewise. Pure Mongoose Brilliance!
This challenge would serve so many purposes for Marty it's a no brainer, which is a requirement for anything he does. It would get his donations rolling again and tide him over until his Bridge Card is refilled for the month! A few buckets of chicken a day would go a long way to satisfy his need to steal Slim Jims from 7-11 plus reduce the natural hostility between him and Linda when the fridge is emptied daily.
The Chicken Bucket Challenge would appeal to so many different causes, it can't possibly fail. Against elder abuse? Send $10 and a bucket. Upset about neighborhood parking? Take the challenge. Since the list of causes Marty advocates for is endless, so would the amount of people willing to accept this challenge. Veterans, deed restrictions, cyber bullying, human trafficking, civil rights or even his most recent blanket advocacy title - plain old "Public Advocate". The possibilities are endless.
Who of Marty's good friends will he challenge first? Ellen could kick of this campaign on her show. Maybe have the Governor send Marty his first bucket. Sylvester Stallone? Absolutely. Perhaps Marty can get Paula Deen to actually cook the first bucket herself? With the national fame of the Mongoose, this challenge can't help but go viral. Marty will have buckets of chicken pouring in from all over the country, not to mention the cash donations.
The best part of this challenge is it will segue into Marty's next great fundraiser. After gorging on chicken for the next few weeks, Marty will put on plenty of extra pounds. This will be a great transition to either his Weight Watchers challenge or his desperate need for a pacemaker, as he's been dying for two years without one. The sky truly is the limit.
Oh, and should you accept this challenge, be certain to also send mashed potatoes with plenty of gravy...
