Due to the expenses involved with putting together our annual "Mongoose Year in Review", our paid subscribers may read and watch it tomorrow with their "Chronicles of Marty Insider" login.
Happy New Years!
John Tuttle
Thursday, December 31, 2015
Friday, December 18, 2015
"It's a Pitiful Life", starring Marty Prehn
Season's Greetings to all of the loyal readers of the Internet's leading information source about the biggest piece of crap mankind has ever defecated.
As we all enjoy family and friends this holiday season, I can't help but think about Marty and the various people who have been infected by the disease we call Mongoosarrhea©. Speaking of family, I'm reminded of this famous load of Marty crap:
"I don't know if you remember the Guardian Angel from the movie IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE but that was my great grandfather Clarence. I am known as the ELDER AVENGER and also known as Super HERO Marty the MONGOOSE. Yeah you better believe it that we are family kiddo."
...which got me to thinking of how much better everyone would be had Marty never been born? What would their lives be like without this boil on the ass of society bringing them down?
Mr and Mrs Gerhard Prehn; After amassing a vast fortune, because Marty wasn't there to spend it on fast food, Gerhard returns to his homeland and becomes the first Chancellor of a newly reunified Germany. He and Bernice live happily into their nineties as the Prehn name is celebrated world wide. Volkswagen Motors is headquartered on Cubberness Drive in Saint Clair Shores, Michigan
Guy and Robin; After growing their family collision shop into a successful national chain, and after acquiring Service King, they turn the business over to their kids while they retire to their vineyard in the Italian countryside. Exclusively buys parts at Fergan's Carquest and its owner/swimsuit model, Linda Bowery.
Bill Windsor; "Willy" would currently be in the final year of his fourth term as President, after having congress repel presidential term limits. He would be preparing to begin his stint as a Supreme Court Justice when his current term expired, passing the baton to Vice President Sean Boushie.
Marty Jr; After graduating with honors from MIT at the age of fourteen, Jr takes a break from the professional Chess Master's circuit to help out at the local methadone clinic. He and his wife, Mimi, are often seen at the symphony with their best friends, Ron and Lisa Illitch.
Sean Fleming; After achieving super stardom playing the bass in his band, "FlemShady and the Snaps", Sean is selected to be the next host of "The Daily Show". On the show, he speaks into a golden microphone while his faithful companion, Ginger, wears a Special Agent hat.
Malik Shabazz; The current Mayor of Detroit, Malik is bringing unity to the community and has opened Manoogian Mansion to the homeless.
Pastor Terry Jones; Hosting a successful televangelist show on Al Jazeera, Terry currently uses all of the money his ministry raises to support orphanages in Syria and Iran. Satellite offices in Dearborn, Michigan.
Denny McLain; Comerica Park is renamed McLain Stadium with an enormous bronze statue of Denny and his uninjured foot adorning the entrance. Frequently hosts "Unity Day" with Mayor Shabazz.
Marti Oakley; "The Truth Squad" overtakes Rush Limbaugh as the most popular talk radio show in the country and is in translated syndication worldwide.
Ronnie LaForest; Elected Governor of Michigan. Statewide ban on vintage car cruises.
Robin Williams; Breathing, along with his friend Terri Shiavo.
Paula Deen; Still hosting her popular cooking show, sits on the board of directors of the NAACP.
Ellen DeGeneres; Happily married to her husband, Dan Haggerty.
Florence Iverson; Still dumber than dirt, Flo donates her monthly pension and social security money to Pastor Jones.
So you see, Marty, you really have made an impact on everyone. Forget all that "birth of Jesus" stuff, the planet should rejoice every May 20th!
As we all enjoy family and friends this holiday season, I can't help but think about Marty and the various people who have been infected by the disease we call Mongoosarrhea©. Speaking of family, I'm reminded of this famous load of Marty crap:
"I don't know if you remember the Guardian Angel from the movie IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE but that was my great grandfather Clarence. I am known as the ELDER AVENGER and also known as Super HERO Marty the MONGOOSE. Yeah you better believe it that we are family kiddo."
...which got me to thinking of how much better everyone would be had Marty never been born? What would their lives be like without this boil on the ass of society bringing them down?
Mr and Mrs Gerhard Prehn; After amassing a vast fortune, because Marty wasn't there to spend it on fast food, Gerhard returns to his homeland and becomes the first Chancellor of a newly reunified Germany. He and Bernice live happily into their nineties as the Prehn name is celebrated world wide. Volkswagen Motors is headquartered on Cubberness Drive in Saint Clair Shores, Michigan
Guy and Robin; After growing their family collision shop into a successful national chain, and after acquiring Service King, they turn the business over to their kids while they retire to their vineyard in the Italian countryside. Exclusively buys parts at Fergan's Carquest and its owner/swimsuit model, Linda Bowery.
Bill Windsor; "Willy" would currently be in the final year of his fourth term as President, after having congress repel presidential term limits. He would be preparing to begin his stint as a Supreme Court Justice when his current term expired, passing the baton to Vice President Sean Boushie.
Marty Jr; After graduating with honors from MIT at the age of fourteen, Jr takes a break from the professional Chess Master's circuit to help out at the local methadone clinic. He and his wife, Mimi, are often seen at the symphony with their best friends, Ron and Lisa Illitch.
Sean Fleming; After achieving super stardom playing the bass in his band, "FlemShady and the Snaps", Sean is selected to be the next host of "The Daily Show". On the show, he speaks into a golden microphone while his faithful companion, Ginger, wears a Special Agent hat.
Malik Shabazz; The current Mayor of Detroit, Malik is bringing unity to the community and has opened Manoogian Mansion to the homeless.
Pastor Terry Jones; Hosting a successful televangelist show on Al Jazeera, Terry currently uses all of the money his ministry raises to support orphanages in Syria and Iran. Satellite offices in Dearborn, Michigan.
Denny McLain; Comerica Park is renamed McLain Stadium with an enormous bronze statue of Denny and his uninjured foot adorning the entrance. Frequently hosts "Unity Day" with Mayor Shabazz.
Marti Oakley; "The Truth Squad" overtakes Rush Limbaugh as the most popular talk radio show in the country and is in translated syndication worldwide.
Ronnie LaForest; Elected Governor of Michigan. Statewide ban on vintage car cruises.
Robin Williams; Breathing, along with his friend Terri Shiavo.
Paula Deen; Still hosting her popular cooking show, sits on the board of directors of the NAACP.
Ellen DeGeneres; Happily married to her husband, Dan Haggerty.
Florence Iverson; Still dumber than dirt, Flo donates her monthly pension and social security money to Pastor Jones.
So you see, Marty, you really have made an impact on everyone. Forget all that "birth of Jesus" stuff, the planet should rejoice every May 20th!
Thursday, December 3, 2015
Mongoose Life Cycle: Lie, Rejection, Repeat...
CoMmies;
Our continuing coverage of Marty Prehn may seem like a rerun. However, our keen readers know that Marty Prehn not only recycles his lies periodically, but they always eventually result in rejection and failure.
Over the last week or so, we've once again seen plenty of failure and stupidity from the Mongoose. Marty has been a very busy super hero as he attempts to find someone famous he can attach himself to, now that apparently Denny figured out he was a lying idiot and gave him the boot. We all know that the poor Elder Avenger has an insatiable appetite for both food and the need to project the image of his great importance on Facebook. Marty usually does this by claiming to have famous or important friends. In reality, he actually has no friends or life and virtually everyone who knows him in person hates his guts, but the Mongoose can't let his fake Facebook friends find out.
Marty's most recent recognizable name association attempt was Catherine Falk, the daughter of one of Marty's television "heroes", Peter Falk (who, incidentally Marty claims he may be related to). Ms Falk has an organization that deals with an elder issue that Marty sometimes pretends to advocate for. He started by sharing everything she's ever posted on Facebook over the last several years, then moved on to one of his now infamous Facebook "like" campaigns (think Camp Patriot). Marty quickly progressed to the requisite song dedications and pending Michigan state legislation ("commonly referred to as the Chism-Falk law") that he was in the process of having passed:
Our continuing coverage of Marty Prehn may seem like a rerun. However, our keen readers know that Marty Prehn not only recycles his lies periodically, but they always eventually result in rejection and failure.
Over the last week or so, we've once again seen plenty of failure and stupidity from the Mongoose. Marty has been a very busy super hero as he attempts to find someone famous he can attach himself to, now that apparently Denny figured out he was a lying idiot and gave him the boot. We all know that the poor Elder Avenger has an insatiable appetite for both food and the need to project the image of his great importance on Facebook. Marty usually does this by claiming to have famous or important friends. In reality, he actually has no friends or life and virtually everyone who knows him in person hates his guts, but the Mongoose can't let his fake Facebook friends find out.
Marty's most recent recognizable name association attempt was Catherine Falk, the daughter of one of Marty's television "heroes", Peter Falk (who, incidentally Marty claims he may be related to). Ms Falk has an organization that deals with an elder issue that Marty sometimes pretends to advocate for. He started by sharing everything she's ever posted on Facebook over the last several years, then moved on to one of his now infamous Facebook "like" campaigns (think Camp Patriot). Marty quickly progressed to the requisite song dedications and pending Michigan state legislation ("commonly referred to as the Chism-Falk law") that he was in the process of having passed:
Marty obsessed over this woman's organization for two or three days. Of course, this caused what has become the standard reaction from one of Marty's obsession targets. She did a little research, including a cursory reading of this blog, figured out what Marty really is, deleted his crap (but we caught it) and immediately blocked him. She went so far as to make a post about people's behavior (Marty's) being unacceptable.
After Marty figured out his latest hard Facebook work had all gone to waste, he found yet another famous daughter to target. Country singer Glen Campbell's daughter is also a champion of some sort of elder issue involving her father. Without so much as a plea for help, in swoops The Elder Dawg to the rescue! Marty begins sharing anything he can find on Facebook about Glen Campbell or any of his family members. During this process, Marty's Mongoose senses must have begun to twitch. The Chism-Falk legislation mysteriously changed into the Chism-Campbell law! He decided before his latest target started to look into who the crazy stalker that was sharing her every post was, he'd better dress up his Facebook page with all the proof of what an important and connected man he is. A defensive tactic he picked up on Paris Island, no doubt.
All of our regular readers know that Marty is at his entertaining best when he's trying to show people just how incredibly great he is. He began to fill his Facebook page with his numerous accomplishments. He hit all the highlights of course; The great Terry Jones body guard event. The saving of Dr Chism. The various movie projects he has going, including one that he now claims was written by him and the Michigan Secretary of State Ruth Johnson. It's kinda funny that he just finished working on a "Hallmark Lifetime" movie with this woman but can't seem to find the time to answer or return numerous recent calls from her office. What's that all about, Marty?
The part of Marty's greatness display that I found interesting though, was his rehash of his Ronald Reagan claim to fame. Here is a screen shot from his page:
Yes, we're all very familiar with how Marty is responsible for the reunification of Germany in honor of his former Nazi soldier father. The part of this I find interesting is his friend's comment. Marty doesn't actually claim in his comment that he was a Secret Service employee that day. This picture was taken when Reagan was just a presidential candidate so he wouldn't have garnered Secret Service protection. Marty's "friend" Richard asked Marty if he was a former agent. Instead of Marty telling the truth and saying no, he just ignores the question and never answers it. No need to prevent someone from just assuming Marty was actually an agent in the past right?
I know what our readers are thinking now. "Standard Marty, I've seen all of this before" and that's correct. But as is the way of the Mongoose, one post on Facebook about a subject is never enough. I next witnessed this on his page:
Another "friend" of Marty's, a self proclaimed "smart woman" believes that Marty was the actual person who pushed Reagan into the limo during an assassination attempt. I imagine Marty must have had a spontaneous, total body orgasm when he read this comment. Marty then comments back that, no, it wasn't him but supplies the first name of his buddy, Jack, and notates that he recently died. As if Marty was acquainted with or was a "coworker" of this man. Marty's "smart woman" friend then reassures Marty that she knows he was "in the mix of things". Are these crazy people actually allowed to drive... and vote? How does Marty find them? Is there a Facebook social group for the criminally stupid?
This being the exact image Marty so desperately wants to portray, there is no way in hell he would consider correcting this person. The more people who believe his complete bullshit, the better. It wouldn't surprise me if soon Marty is calling on this woman to verify his role in this moment in history. This is just one more example of how the complete fraud that is Marty Prehn operates.
I'll close this review of Mongoose stupidity with a few thoughts for Marty: Do you honestly think you'll be able to continue lying or avoiding the truth forever? All the people whose names you continue to drop are getting tired of it, you idiot. Why do you think Ruth Johnson's office keeps calling? It's not to try to make dinner plans or a last minute change to the movie script you claim you co-wrote. How long will it be until all the various elected officials in Michigan become so tired of you using their names that they are forced to take action? Have you considered what those actions could possibly be Marty? Or, are you so desperate to portray yourself as some powerful, well connected person that you are willing to risk mental lockup or worse to continue the lie?
After all, three squares and a matress would be an improvement over stolen Slim Jims and Jr's living room floor. Go for it, Marty. You'll get there.
After Marty figured out his latest hard Facebook work had all gone to waste, he found yet another famous daughter to target. Country singer Glen Campbell's daughter is also a champion of some sort of elder issue involving her father. Without so much as a plea for help, in swoops The Elder Dawg to the rescue! Marty begins sharing anything he can find on Facebook about Glen Campbell or any of his family members. During this process, Marty's Mongoose senses must have begun to twitch. The Chism-Falk legislation mysteriously changed into the Chism-Campbell law! He decided before his latest target started to look into who the crazy stalker that was sharing her every post was, he'd better dress up his Facebook page with all the proof of what an important and connected man he is. A defensive tactic he picked up on Paris Island, no doubt.
All of our regular readers know that Marty is at his entertaining best when he's trying to show people just how incredibly great he is. He began to fill his Facebook page with his numerous accomplishments. He hit all the highlights of course; The great Terry Jones body guard event. The saving of Dr Chism. The various movie projects he has going, including one that he now claims was written by him and the Michigan Secretary of State Ruth Johnson. It's kinda funny that he just finished working on a "Hallmark Lifetime" movie with this woman but can't seem to find the time to answer or return numerous recent calls from her office. What's that all about, Marty?
The part of Marty's greatness display that I found interesting though, was his rehash of his Ronald Reagan claim to fame. Here is a screen shot from his page:
Yes, we're all very familiar with how Marty is responsible for the reunification of Germany in honor of his former Nazi soldier father. The part of this I find interesting is his friend's comment. Marty doesn't actually claim in his comment that he was a Secret Service employee that day. This picture was taken when Reagan was just a presidential candidate so he wouldn't have garnered Secret Service protection. Marty's "friend" Richard asked Marty if he was a former agent. Instead of Marty telling the truth and saying no, he just ignores the question and never answers it. No need to prevent someone from just assuming Marty was actually an agent in the past right?
I know what our readers are thinking now. "Standard Marty, I've seen all of this before" and that's correct. But as is the way of the Mongoose, one post on Facebook about a subject is never enough. I next witnessed this on his page:
Another "friend" of Marty's, a self proclaimed "smart woman" believes that Marty was the actual person who pushed Reagan into the limo during an assassination attempt. I imagine Marty must have had a spontaneous, total body orgasm when he read this comment. Marty then comments back that, no, it wasn't him but supplies the first name of his buddy, Jack, and notates that he recently died. As if Marty was acquainted with or was a "coworker" of this man. Marty's "smart woman" friend then reassures Marty that she knows he was "in the mix of things". Are these crazy people actually allowed to drive... and vote? How does Marty find them? Is there a Facebook social group for the criminally stupid?
This being the exact image Marty so desperately wants to portray, there is no way in hell he would consider correcting this person. The more people who believe his complete bullshit, the better. It wouldn't surprise me if soon Marty is calling on this woman to verify his role in this moment in history. This is just one more example of how the complete fraud that is Marty Prehn operates.
I'll close this review of Mongoose stupidity with a few thoughts for Marty: Do you honestly think you'll be able to continue lying or avoiding the truth forever? All the people whose names you continue to drop are getting tired of it, you idiot. Why do you think Ruth Johnson's office keeps calling? It's not to try to make dinner plans or a last minute change to the movie script you claim you co-wrote. How long will it be until all the various elected officials in Michigan become so tired of you using their names that they are forced to take action? Have you considered what those actions could possibly be Marty? Or, are you so desperate to portray yourself as some powerful, well connected person that you are willing to risk mental lockup or worse to continue the lie?
After all, three squares and a matress would be an improvement over stolen Slim Jims and Jr's living room floor. Go for it, Marty. You'll get there.
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
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