Marty Prehn Defined

It's Unity Day here at the Chronicles!

Unity in that Marty has figured out that every reader and contributor to this blog is actually the evil Flemshady...

As Marty scrambles to fill the void left in his vapid existence by the departure of Denny's foot and the entire African American community, he's returned to his comfort zone of meaningless threats and wild-ass guesses as to who doesn't believe his endless litany of lies. Sean Fleming's turn has come back in the rotation.

Anyone who reads here knows that Marty's stupidity has no limits. The fact that he repeats his same moronic spew over and over, despite the overwhelming evidence that he's clueless or lying, just confirms he's too stupid to learn. Recently, Marty has spent most of his fantasy Facebook life trying to retool his true self. While he's searching for a new sucker to support him, he's tried the appear to be a caring, nice guy who just wants to help others and make the world a better place. Unfortunately, the Mongoose just doesn't have the self discipline nor mental capacity to keep the real Marty tamped down for long. The bitter, attention-starved lying idiot always manages to rear its ugly, bulbous head. After a few days of refraining from attacking, threatening or just advertising for his "cyber stalker", Marty can't control himself any longer and out comes the moron we love to laugh at so much!

While jumping back on the Bill Windsor short bus this morning, Marty got carried away and let the following idiocy spill out of his feeble mind:

"Marty Prehn 1 hr · My cyber stalker just does not get it. He can change his name on fb all he wants but his true identity us known whether it is spam on or Semper-Fi wife or Semper-Fi wife life. They are all the same people in violation of Judge Lisa Gorceka's order for Flem Shady not to cyber stalk me or contact anyone in order to slander or defame me." 

At least he almost spelled the judge's name correctly this time. It's Gorcyca, you retard!

I would say this is one of the dumbest comments Marty has ever made, but we all have witnessed much higher levels of stupidity from this idiot. However, that's not to say that comment isn't extremely moronic. According to this statement, Marty says Fleming is using the names Spam on (Spamanon) and Semper Fi Wife on Facebook. I've searched Facebook every way I know how and have been unable to find accounts in either of those names. Both of those people do comment quite frequently on this blog, though. Has Marty become so confused about how Facebook and blogs work that he thinks they're the same thing? There really is a world beyond your pathetic Facebook life, you blundering idiot. His confusion does sorta explain why Marty claims he got the IP addresses for commenters on this blog from Facebook. Not really. Let's face it. Marty wouldn't know what to do with anything longer than a couple of digits, anyway.

Another moronic aspect of this comment speaks to Marty's great investigative skills. Every person has their own writing style. It seems rather easy to tell each commenter from others. Even when a regular commenter uses an anonymous signature, it's obvious to me and practically everyone else who they really are. How can a man who is/was a Special Agent for several different three letter agencies think that all the comments made by the names he has given are the same person? Anyone with half an ounce of intelligence could tell those comments are made by very different people. I guess that explains why Marty can't figure it out.

The next part of this comment really is classic Marty. The Mongoose just has to drop the name of the judge that presided over the great PPO showdown between Marty and Fleming and once again gives his distorted opinion of what she said. This is obviously Marty's attempt at a threat to report Fleming to the judge. When will Marty figure out that everyone knows this threat is like all the others and, indeed, Marty himself - WORTHLESS! Even Marty isn't dumb enough to let himself be forced to prove the lies he told under oath. Marty has never offered any proof of anything he's ever claimed and  as usual, he can't do it in this case either. That's the pitfall of being full of shit.

It also appears to me that Marty believes he can use what the judge said in that hearing as a magic blanket to cover every person who points out what an idiot he is. Apparently, Marty is just going to claim that anyone who critiques his stupidity has to be Fleming or one of Fleming's "accomplices". The problem with this latest Mongoose legal strategy is that the Bill Windsor approach just doesn't work. Before they let Marty "slap the cuffs" on Fleming, he's going to have to supply more evidence than "I'm a national elder advocate, special agent and I said so". Yeah, start your lie with fake credentials, Marty. Puts everything you say afterwards in its proper perspective.

As I lay down in bed tonight to go to sleep, I'll say a little prayer:

"Please, Blog Gods above, give Marty the courage to return to court and attempt to have charges brought against Fleming." 

That would be, by far, the dumbest thing the Mongoose has ever done. And that's saying a lot!

Mongoose Reminiscing...

Anyone that uses Facebook should be familiar with a feature it has called "Time Hop". This feature shows the user what they posted on that date in years past. Marty has been posting the results of his time hops lately and he's just too stupid to realize how bad it makes him look. All of his posts from prior years are the same worthless threats he's still spewing today.

As Marty continues to expose himself as the lying idiot we know him to be by sharing these old threats that never happened, I can't help but laugh. Anyone with an ounce of intelligence would want to hide these fantasy threats, not repost them. Hysterical crap like this: 

Here we are three years later and still nothing has happened. There hasn't even been so much as a phone call to these "murderers" by any law enforcement agency. Maybe the time is now, now is the time for all of Marty's investigations to start. For some odd reason, I highly doubt it.

Along those lines, we here at CoM thought maybe we should do a "Marty Time Hop" ourselves. Take a trip down memory lane with us, CoMmies, and laugh at the abject stupidity that is Martin Erwin Prehn...

http://youtu.be/bxHTfg0wEb4

Marty Prehn is Rich with Bullshit

Greetings and salutations to our thousands of loyal readers, including Marty and his crew of idiots - Racist Carla and Betty the Balloon Slut. Together, that trio corners the internet stupidity market.

I've been spending time trying to clean up CoM's former editor's office. I can now sympathize with the poor people that had to shovel out Marty's old rented room, although the smell of stale liquor and skunk beer can't be nearly as bad as the overwhelming urine stench and "masturbation by products" that likely haunts Marty's rented room to this day. Surely a code violation. You're welcome, Marty.

It seems Cookout saved every idiotic prediction Marty made, and there were hundreds, if not thousands. Bob planned on revisiting these predictions when the date they were supposed to happen arrived, but sold the company before he was able to get to it. I assume the endless flow of current Mongoose stupidity that needed to be reported just didn't leave time to cover the past lies. 

After returning to my own office, I realized I might be falling into the same trap. I also have many records of bold predictions (lies) made by Marty. I then decided I needed to start reminding Marty of his past predictions and empty threats. "The time is now, Now is the time" these predictions should be happening. Today, I'll cover a particularly hilarious comment Marty made last June: 

"Marty Prehn Marion Florence just thought I'd let you know that I'm going to be sending a birthday present to my brother Rick who has been converted so now his name is called dick and he's going to find out that if he thought he outsmarted me he's got another thing coming because the money is that were in the properties out in Colorado is not where the true inheritance was and I had a bet with my father that somebody in the family I thought it would be my sister Marlene but I was not totally right that he was just three of them marlane Shirley and Richard would challenge the my father's trust and I had a backup plan and they're going to find out on Richard's birthday what that was and I had to wait 5 years after the death of the surviving spouse in order to implement it so that will be on September 24th of my mother's passing which is going to be 5 years now and the other going to find out that they all forfeited their true inheritance and it was conveyed to me when the cottage got transferred and all of the contents I can't believe that they were stupid not never to question what that meant all of the contents but they will soon find out have a good day and I'm smiling from ear to ear. They sing in the Southern Baptist Church is on Sunday oh happy day do unto others as they have done unto you the money is that has been set aside will allow me to go after them and the legislation that I've had passed in Lansing allows me to go after them for three times the amount of money that was stolen from me in my inheritance and that it requires that they pay all of the attorney fees which would include the investigation by the FBI the Justice Department and the US Marshalls department it's going to be one hell of a story let me tell you." 

Like most Mongoose droppings, this lie is both puzzling and very telling. Marty can't start any great future threat without first insulting the target. That's just standard for the immature idiot we all know so well. Then, Marty comments that his brother thinks he outsmarted the great secret agent Marty "Mongoose" Prehn. That in itself is so laughable. Nobody has to outsmart Marty, he dooms himself with his complete stupidity on a daily basis. Face it, Marty. A pile of sawdust can outsmart you.

Marty claims his siblings thought that the bulk of the Prehn estate was invested in properties in Colorado. Of course he doesn't mention the many properties that were located in Michigan because he had already sold them off while he was running and raiding the family trust. These were some of the funds that Marty refused to account for when the court demanded records of where the money went. Marty took a contempt charge instead of admitting what he'd done with that rather large sum of money. 

Now, Marty appears to be claiming the bulk of the Prehn assets were hidden in some way at the lake cottage. The old "coffee can buried in the backyard" routine. Marty next references a "bet" he had with his father about what his siblings would try to do upon his father's death. I'm trying to imagine how that conversation must have gone. "Dad, I bet your other children will think they are entitled to some of the family estate when you die, but I'm going to make sure I get to keep it all. Don't bother to read this, just sign it!" Marty also says he had a "back up plan" just in case the siblings interfered with him stealing his parents entire estate. Is it just me or does this statement really point out Marty's greed? No wonder Marty was starving his mother. He was ready to hit the jackpot sooner than natural causes permit. He would have gotten away with it, had Marlene not become concerned with his treatment of their mother. 

Marty next makes the same mistake he always does. He gives a date his lie is supposed to happen. This devil in the details gets Marty every time and proves just how stupid he is over and over. Never once has a single of Marty's threats, lies, fake events or other predictions come true. Never EVER! Marty gives the five year anniversary of his mother's death as the day his diabolical "backup plan" can be put into action and he can cash in on the hidden assets. Can't you just picture Marty mumbling to himself "How long has that woman been dead, anyway? I'm ready to get paid." Such a loving and caring person Marty is. If you don't believe me, just look at his recent Facebook posts.

As we all know, Marty also can't make a threat prediction without referencing his great importance and a few three letter agencies. Marty mentions he can go after his siblings because of "legislation I've had passed in Lansing". What a complete load of bullshit. Another claim by the Mongoose that he's somehow running things in the Michigan state government " behind the scenes". He also claims the siblings will be paying his legal fees and the cost for the - you guessed it - various three letter agency investigations. He further states that the mystery money he's claiming on the 24th will be used for this revenge. I know our government has been trying to cut spending but, when did the FBI, DOJ, and U.S. Marshals start charging up front for Marty's personal vendettas?

I'll close this "Marty threat reminder" by pointing out the great greed of the Mongoose and how it's the root of all of Marty's problems. He threatens that he's going after his siblings for three times the amount of money that was STOLEN from him. Marty feels that since he didn't get to keep all the money, and that some of that money was needed for top notch care of his elderly mother, it was stolen from him. Marty's greed was so great that he refused to let his mother's own money be used for her care. He was so greedy that he insisted on mounting a failed and baseless legal challenge to keep the money he wanted for himself, including her monthly social security check, away from his own mother. The remaining assets he hadn't already spent were further reduced by the legal bills incurred fighting him. Marty couldn't be happy with his fair share of the Prehn estate. His insistence on wanting it all to himself ended up costing him. The act of trying to accelerate his mother's death to collect is what ruined his plan. Rumor has it that just before Marlene rescued her, Marty entered her room and announced "Now is the time. The time is now!" Drats. Another Mongoose plan foiled.

The clock is now ticking on this threat, Marty. Sept 24th will be here soon and your siblings will likely visit their parent's final resting place. You, on the other hand, will be on Jr's living room floor, spewing your lies and hatred on Facebook.

I'll go ahead and make a Marty style prediction myself. Marty will be the same worthless, broke, bitter loser on Sept 25th as he has been his entire life and always will be.

Marty's Big Payday

NOW IS THE TIME, THE TIME IS NOW!

Marty Prehn is a Racist Hypocrite!

Happy Labor Day to all of our Car Parts Delivery Boy Union Member readers!

As we all are still trying to recover from the horror of Marty's corpse-like makeover, the Mongoose did us another great favor. He posted a reminder of what a hypocrite he truly is. Of course, we all already knew that but he took a break from his new Facebook approach to provide us with more proof to point it out. 

The picture above was posted by Marty this Labor Day weekend. Apparently, his daughter and granddaughter were in town and made the mistake of an obligatory drive-by visit with creepy Grandpa Marty. I won't comment on the wisdom of ever letting a child be exposed to an idiot like Marty, but let's just say I'd never do it. As you can see, though, Marty was thrilled enough about the visit he immediately posted about it on Facebook. I'm left to wonder if he asked his granddaughter to donate to his future good works? Probably didn't ask and just stole her lemonade stand money for gas.

Normally, you couldn't fault a grandpa for happily posting pictures of his granddaughter, but this is Marty we're talking about. When looking at his profile, you can't help but notice there are no other pictures of this grandchild. That's because Marty was banned by his daughter from posting them. Marty's daughter is the smartest of his children by a large margin. She literally fled the state of Michigan to avoid the stigma that anyone associated with the Mongoose enjoys. She made her own life, with no help from her worthless dad, far away from the stupidity that is Martin E. Prehn (Jr or Sr). Can you really blame Stephanie for not wanting her daughter's picture posted all over the fantasy page of an Elder D.A.W.G.?

The posting of Marty's granddaughter's picture leads me to this important question: Why hasn't the Moronic Mongoose ever posted a picture of his grandson Tay Tay? Not only does Marty flop with this child's father, the poor little guy lives about five miles from them. Couldn't Marty pose for a picture with this grandchild during the child's visitation with his dad? Why isn't Marty having family dinners that involve Tay Tay? Everyone who reads here knows exactly why: This child is mixed race and the wonderful prejudiced Prehns don't acknowledge the child even exists. This is a great example of what a huge hypocrite Marty is. He's ready to march for black causes and preach racial unity in Detroit in his latest desperate attempt to get on TV, but can't be bothered by his mixed race grandson. You walked arm in arm with MLK, Marty, but you refuse to be seen with your black grandson? How does that work, exactly? We all know of the company you keep and provide police escorts for. Lovely people like Carla:

"Carla Sauer-Iyer

September 2 at

10:50am

Just let me get a hold of these Barbarian Porch Monkey Nigga's.csi"

When Jr was trying to deny being the child's father, Marty was leading the attacks on Tay's mother. He called her a black whore, ridiculed her ethnic name and so on. Once it was was proven that "Jr, you are the father" why didn't Marty embrace his only grandson? Marty didn't seem to have a problem with Jr having sex with this black woman, only the fact that she became pregnant from it. Is the message Marty was sending is that it's ok to use a black woman's for sex, just don't take responsibility for the child you created? I doubt those black women empowerment groups that Marty has been recently sharing Facebook post from would appreciate that sentiment. Makes Marty's recent civil rights activist act pretty transparent don't you think? Maybe Malik Shabazz should speak with the deadbeat Prehns about the importance of good male role models in the lives of young black men? Also lecture "Don't ever get pregnant by a white trash loser" to the black community at large.

Since Marty is too racist and hypocritical to post a picture of his black grandson but is quick to post pictures of his white granddaughter, I feel it's our duty to post one here. This is Marty's only grandson:

I can't help but feel sorry for this poor child. His father Martin E. Prehn Jr is a worthless, deadbeat criminal. His grandfather Martin E. Prehn is a worthless, deadbeat, lying idiot. I can only hope Tay's mother manages to do the same thing Stephanie was able to pull off. Get as far away from the worthless male Prehns as possible. Anyone named Martin E. Prehn will do nothing but bring you down.

Good luck, Tay Tay. You have two huge strikes against you so early in life. I hope you manage to overcome them.

Menopausal Marty

"Just when you think every respectable public restroom has been alerted to the fat guy with grey hair, mustache and glasses..."

Welcome back readers! It's time again for an update on the Moronic Mongoose, aka Marty Prehn. There have been some exciting new developments in the real life of Marty that need to be chronicled.

We all know that Marty's Facebook life changes by the hour, based on who he's trying to impress, but his real life usually remains unremarkable and unchanged. It's not often that there is something genuine to report about Marty, so this is new to all of us.

It was previously reported here that RC3 had returned to the Detroit area and was starting a new undercover assignment. This article is based on his preliminary findings. Mr Cookout would ordinarily write his own stories, but he sent me this information with a note saying: "Write this up for me, I'm working against a deadline". Looking online at the recent corporate credit card transactions, that deadline apparently was the start of Happy Hour at a Detroit tit bar. Regardless, I'll do my best to cypher through his scribble.

It has now been confirmed that the "change of life" has occurred with Marty. The Mongoosemobile had recently been seen at Jr's drug den on a regular basis and we here at CoM were very curious as to why. Cookout has now discovered the real reason - Linda finally woke up and dumped that loser. As with all of the celebrity break-ups this summer, it's not surprising Detroit's premiere power couple is history. I imagine Linda got tired of cleaning up the steaming piles of crap that Elder D.A.W.G. tends to drop everywhere he goes. It had to have been hard on Linda to hear the constant complaints around town and from customers about her beloved idiot. I guess it finally reached the point that she could no longer stomach the hassle and smell that follows Marty everywhere he goes. Either that or Marty pissed in one too many potted plants around the apartment - sewing boxes are so yesterday.

Now that Linda ate the biscuit wheels off of Marty's gravy train, big changes were sure to follow. Sleeping on the living room floor in Jr's Section 8 rental dump is a far cry from the good life Marty had with Linda. This change in lifestyle would call for drastic measures from the Special Agent. A couple of days ago, we saw the first of these attempts.

Brace yourselves, CoMmies, it's time for a Mongoose Makeover!

Unretouched Actual Photo.

Believe it or not, the bloated man with the washed out face pictured above is none other than Martin E. Prehn. When I first received the screenshot from RC3, I just assumed Marty had found a new man crush. After Cookout sent the text that followed the photo, it became clear that Marty had posted a picture of the greatest love he's ever known - Himself! Here is the brief comment exchange between CashFlo and Marty:

"Florence Iverson
Marty? What happened to the widows peak? zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzA look alike?
Like · 1 · More · Yesterday at 8:09pm
Marty Prehn
Florence I got divorced twice. Neither one of my wives died or were killed so that is the reason for no widows or widowers peaks. 85 lbs down and another 80-100 lbs to go. Hopefully by the New Year and for my 60th birthday party in May 2016"

Let me first say this about Marty. How many times have we seen Marty comment about some huge weight loss? He's lost over 70 pounds so many times, he should defy gravity by now! Based on my observations of this picture, I can easily see where Marty's "lost" 85 pounds are. Look at his arm in that picture. That thing must weigh 100 pounds itself. I'm not even going to speculate as to how much the man boobs he has laying on the table in front of him must weigh. It's time for the Mongoose to once again start calling for his Weight Watchers celebrity endorsement deal.

I will admit, Marty does appear to look somewhat thinner in the face. I can't tell if this is an illusion caused by his face being clean shaven, the lack of glasses or the new hair color.  It could also be actual weight loss caused be the removal of his access to Linda's Twinkie and Ding Dong supply. I'd bet there isn't a lot of extra food getting brought into Jr's by the constant parade of junkies coming and going. Munchies alone probably exhaust the food supply. The hair color is another thing I'm curious about. Did Marty discover "Just for Men" or did he find some old shoe polish to rub on his head? For that matter, I'm not sure if he's used a hair darkener or perhaps a face whitener. If only he'd have taken a selfie at the end of the night, we could have seen if his profuse sweating had made the color start running down his face.

I'm sure some readers here are wondering why Marty would decide to change his looks so drastically. Was SAM starting a new undercover operation for one of the many three letter agencies he claims to work for? Is Marty tired of everyone in the suburbs of Detroit recognizing the village idiot as he arrives? Did Marty see the picture posted on the previous article on this blog depicting what he looks like in his fantasy Facebook life and decide he needed to look more like that? I'm going to speculate that none of these are the real reason for the Mongoose Makeover. I think Marty desperately needs to find a new sucker to replace Linda. His time at Jr's is running out, not to mention he must be really hungry. Marty needed a new look because he needs a new place to flop rent free. That wasn't going to happen looking the way he did. Women could spot the loser he is from a mile away. Nice try, Marty. They still can.

One other aspect of the breakup between Marty and Linda I'm left to wonder about is this: What effect is this going to have on Marty's employment with Daddy Fergan's company? Is Marty now on borrowed time at Carquest? He would have been fired long ago without Linda protecting him. Now that it's over between them, how long until Marty gets fired? His 10 hours per week seem to have already been cut, based on his visits to this blog and his all day long posting on Facebook. It's very possible he's already unemployed again.

I'll close this report with a few questions. Has Marty already targeted his next sucker (Cristal) to mooch off of? Has Marty been or soon to be fired as the top delivery boy at Carquest? Can Marty afford to hit the thrift shop for some new clothes to complete his makeover from homeless chic to inner city idiot? And my biggest question of all: What will happen when Marty squeezes that Walmart Special Agent hat on his newly dyed sweaty head?

When that hat turns brown, Marty will look like the true shithead we know him to be.