Marty Prehn's Rites of Summer

Great news, CoMmies - Michigan's own personal pilonidal cyst is at it again!

With the un-official start of summer last weekend, everyone here knew it was now the prime time for Marty to start up all of his great imaginary summer events. Every time the temperature breaks 60°, the Mongoose announces his yearly "I Need A Hero" (aka; Mongoosepalooza) fake event. There are typically other sideshows also announced, but that is usually the anchor event.

With Marty's newly formed MVP Productions, it was only a matter of time until the scams would start. While on his visit to heaven this week, Marty promised to set off more of his incredible "fireworks" this past Thursday. His original claim stated the fireworks would be RICO related. After this latest Elder D.A.W.G. threat was laughed at, I can only guess Marty had to alter his course. Based on the following comment, it appears Marty has returned to his money scamming roots. Here is the latest complete idiocy from the world's biggest liar:

"Marty Prehn

August 15. 2015 is Detroit Tigers retirement day up at Houghton Lake for number 17 Cy Young Award Winner and 2 time MVP Denny McLain and number 11 and 11 time gold glove award winning catcher Bill Freehan and 1968 MLB World Series Champions. And then on May 18, 2016 I NEED A HERO / LET FREEDOM RING BIKE RALLY for the remaining members of the L 10 POW's that are incarcerated at Fort Leavenworth as war criminals and Welcome Home to those that have been SET FREE and the birthday party that was promised to one of my boys and HEROES Michael Behenna. He won his freedom on March 14, 2014 and a black tie dinner with

no fewer than 50 of people that I consider to also be my HEROES and they will each have there own tables and people can buy tickets via MVP Productions for 50.00 apiece and all 3 events will be sponsored by one of the American car companies and be nationally televised by a 3 letter tv network. More details to follow but I am not allowed to drop any names as this upsets my cyber stalkers Flem Shady n RHW."

And there it is, CoMmies, the first great Mongoose lie of the season! As is our signature style, allow your humble correspondent to break this utter lunacy down into a few parts in order to highlight Marty's stupidity:

"August 15. 2015 is Detroit Tigers retirement day up at Houghton Lake for number 17 Cy Young Award Winner and 2 time MVP Denny McLain and number 11 and 11 time gold glove award winning catcher Bill Freehan and 1968 MLB World Series Champions"

So Marty is throwing a retirement party for the 1968 Detroit Tigers with an emphasis on these two players. How long have they been retired now? Was Marty on a deep undercover CIA assignment when they originally retired? And is this great party being held at the lake cottage Marty inherited from his parents? The same cottage that hasn't been occupied or even had utilities for several years? I'm sure that would be a great location for a huge party for ex professional (some wheelchair bound) athletes. Will this party include Marty's claims he's having the Tigers retire these players numbers? The number retirement claim just highlights how out of touch with reality Marty really is. Denny was disgraced when he was arrested and convicted. And it's a little late for Marty to retire #11. The Tigers retired that number several years ago, but not in honor of Marty's hero:

Catch up Marty, you're way behind again, you huge idiot. And you and Denny sitting at a card table on the front lawn of your parent's cottage doesn't qualify as a Detroit Tiger's retirement party. 

The next part of this latest lie is so Martyesque©. He's once again rolling out his "I Need A Hero" event. This time, he's announcing it almost a year in advance - and selling tickets! Could that be because he's attaching his name to the front of a real event and he already missed it this year? The Mongoose has once again run out of scams so he is recycling one of his old ones. We're now back to the Leavenworth 10 Marty? Find a new scam already, you lazy, worthless moron.

It appears Mongoosepalooza has now become a black tie affair to honor whatever "heros" Marty can dream up. He says there will be 50 present, each with their own table. Unfortunately, Marty won't say who any of them are because he's afraid that if he does, Flemshady and Robin will be upset. It's good to see Marty is finally attempting to keep those two happy. I do wonder if Marty is planning on inviting Bill Windsor to sit at one of the hero tables. That's if Bill is out of prison by then, of course. Based on Marty's past hero worship, this event should be attended by more parole officers than anyone else.

This black tie affair is also supposed to include a birthday party Marty promised Michael Behenna awhile ago. If my memory serves, Marty made several promises regarding this man. Wasn't the Mongoose supposed to escort Michael back home when he was released? Didn't the Behenna family tell Marty to shut up and go away? Have they changed their minds about Marty and are now going to allow this birthday party? I'm sure we'll know soon enough, as our crack investigative reporters are on the case.

Of course, Marty also has to throw in his usual lies about an event he dreamed up while sitting on the couch in the dump he shares with Jr. This event is being sponsored by an American car company and being broadcast by a "three letter national broadcast co". I have to assume he didn't say which ones because he's still trying to keep the "cyber stalkers" happy. Either that, or he is trying to avoid the cease and desist that would be sure to follow if he actual included the names in his lie. I will make Marty this promise: If he has a sponsored event, and it's broadcast on national television, I'll fly to Detroit and kiss his entire ass on TV. Based on the size of Marty's ass, the time it would take me to cover the entire thing would fill the entire broadcast - with no commercial breaks for the car ads!

I've saved my favorite part of this lie for last:

"people can buy tickets via MVP Productions for 50.00 apiece"

This comment is hilarious in so many ways. First, people are asked to buy a $50 ticket that include events that are almost a year apart. Having Denny hanging out at a lake cottage this August might be doable for Marty, then he has 10 months to give the various excuses to "cancel" the other two events. No refunds, of course. Take it up with PayPal, suckers! Second, where is the big black tie event being held so I can confirm its actually scheduled before I send MVP my money? And, when Marty announced MVP Productions, he announced that it was not only incorporated, but as an LLC, presumably to protect the shareholders of McClain, Jamie Victory and Marty from liabilities and other claims. That makes it a for profit enterprise, not Marty's usual charity claim. Accordingly, all income must be reported for tax purposes. I hope Marty has all the business filings in order for this company because I'm sure his attempted ticket sales will be reported to various business regulatory agencies in Michigan. Oh, that's right. He's tight with the Attorney General and Secretary of State...

I'll close this article with a brief thought. Anyone wishing to buy tickets to Marty's latest extravaganza should contact Denny McClain instead of the Mongoose. I'm sure Denny's lawyer would know more about the legal issues that will arise from his client being a named participant in this for profit business venture with his partners Prehn and Victory. People might want to also contact Michael Behenna's mother to see how she feels about the idiot in Michigan selling tickets to her son's birthday party. Maybe she'll ask Marty where the American car company and national broadcast money went as well. Like I said, just a thought.

Editorial change:

****

Hold the presses!  Last minute Mongoosapalooza update!

"Marty Prehn shared Denny McLain's post.

57 mins · 

Please remember my friend and soon to be Hall of Famer Denny McLain. He had a very serious truck crash and trailer accident yesterday. He broke his left leg and foot in several places and is in a lot of pain. Get well cards can be sent to my post office box and I will see to it that he gets them. Time will tell if he will be well enough for a trip to the Houghton Lake / Prudenville area the weekend of Aug 15th for a special ceremony that will honor the dynamic duo of number 17 Pitcher Denny McLain and number 11 Catcher Bill Freehan both who played on the Detroit Tigers 1968 World Series Championship team. Several other Detroit Tigers from the 68 and 84 World Championship teams are also expected to attend this MVP Production event. My PO Box is DENNY McLAIN c/o Marty Prehn PO Box 80732 St. Clair Shores, MI 48080.

Denny McLain

12 hrs · 

Man I had a bad day................ I broke ,my foot today-4 or 5 places today and its a truck crash, the injured area on my leg, foot and toes looks like the map of Italy"

So, don't use ink when you add the August 15th event to your calendar. Things move quickly in the fast paced imaginary world that Marty has created. Even Marty didn't realize that August might not happen until he checked Denny's Facebook page 11 hours later. Close friends and business partners are always the last to know. But rumour has it that Jamie Victory was mentioning Denny's bum leg at Kroger a full day before Marty found out? Go figure.

But feel free to include cash gifts in those Denny get well cards. Marty will make sure he gets that, too!

See everyone in August and next May! Or not...

BREAKING NEWS!

Oh, boy...

Lair of the Mongoose, Part Trois

Happy Memorial Day Weekend to all of our loyal readers. As we honor the brave souls who made the decision to serve our country, unlike the cowardly Mongoose, we thought we would bring you the latest update on the dumbest human to ever pose as a veteran: Marty Prehn.

As I'm sure everyone here knows, great resources go into seeking the latest information on the very public figure, Elder D.A.W.G. Now that that RC3 is gone and half of our budget doesn't end up in G-strings or spent on alcohol, we've added a new weapon in our battle to save Michigan from the disease we call the Mongoose. I felt that if Marty was going to use a drone to gather information on Saint Clair Shores residents, it must be a great investigative tool. A drone would allow us to search the area for signs that the Mongoose had  been on the prowl. A drone was purchased with the optional ammonia (piss) detection sensor to try to sniff out Marty. It worked better than planned.

It didn't take long for this new investment to pay off. It appears the latest dump, I mean Mongoose Lair, has been located. Marty likes to believe that he's a master of deception by telling the SCS council that he lives in Eastpointe, but the truth is that he's just a liar who squats his fat ass in Roseville, probably with Jr.

After our drone zeroed in on the incredible odor coming from this location, an operative was sent to confirm the presence of the Mongoose. Look what was found parked in the driveway.

I would speculate about how or why Marty ended up as Jr's roommate but the possibilities are endless. Did Linda finally figure out Marty was a worthless liar? Did the apartment management get tired of the complaints about the smell coming from Linda's apartment? Did Linda discover all the sexting Marty was doing with Carla? Did the debt load that occurs when trying to feed Marty finally become more than Linda could take? Did Marty eat the last Twinkie? We might never know the answers to these important questions, but we do know that Roseville's loss is Saint Clair Shores gain!  Eastpointe seems to have been spared. For now....

From the appearance of this latest Lair, MVP Productions better hurry up and start organizing fundraisers. I can't imagine Jr will be able to tolerate being in such tight quarters with his "best friend", daddy Marty. After Jr kicks him out, maybe Marty can move in with one of his new business associates, Jamie or Denny. That could really help get their new production company off the ground. 

Who are we kidding? Denny has already lived with con men in the joint and Jamie, well, he's probably way too intelligent to live with the likes of Marty...

An M.V.P. is born...

Thanks, CoMmies, for tuning in for the latest update on the biggest idiot to ever grace this great country. Once again, Marty Prehn has blessed us with his great stupidity and outright lies. The good times just never end with this moron. Still drunk from managing to get in a picture with his boyhood crush Denny McClain, the Mongoose blessed us with this idiotic comment:

"Here is the new MVP Production Company along with Betty Hoeffner from the anti bully group HEY U.G.L.Y. Looks like the losers lost the bet as you can see both my friend Denny McLain and the Hey U.G.L.Y. President both showed up. It is awful quiet in the Peanut gallery."

This is the biggest news to come from Marty since the last time he bothered to put on deodorant. A new production company with a great snappy name. MVP stands for McClain, Victory, Prehn. Just think of all the great things those three powerhouses can produce. I can't help but wonder what their first great production will be? The newest Mongoosepalooza, I Need a Hero maybe? Will MVP be the production company that finally gets the Hallmark movie that Marty wrote, will be directing and starring in started? He's been promising the Chism brats for several years now that it was coming, so maybe it's finally going to happen. MVP could also get the Camp Out to Stamp Out (insert the latest Marty advocacy here) off the ground. The possibilities are only limited by what crap Marty can dream up while stuffing his face with something.

A production company is key to getting a great project off the ground with financing. That should be no problem for the dream team Marty has put together in his latest endeavor. The financial power of these three should be huge. Will Jamie Victory tap into the vast fortune he's amassed from his years of collecting empty bottles and cans to turn in for the deposit to kick start the "good works" this new company is about to undertake? Where will Marty's contribution to this company's start up cost come from? Maybe Marty is finally getting his $30 million from his lawsuit against Macomb County. Or is he going to sell his Bridge Card on Facebook to get the ball rolling? Perhaps a second mortgage on the shoebox that Jr rents in Eastpointe that Marty often calls home now. Think of all the great things this new company can accomplish with the unlimited resources it has available! And Denny can manage their pension fund!

As of this writing, Betty Hoeffner's role in this farce company is unknown. We're all familiar with the last Betty that Elder D.A.W.G. was involved with:

For our new readers, that would be the world famous Latex enchantress Balloon Betty of Garland, Texas, who actually feels robbed of all dignity by her association with the Mongoose.

This latest Betty has a charity named U.G.L.Y. which would be a fitting name for anything Marty is associated with. Our crack investigation team is just getting started on researching this woman, her charity and its finances as a non profit. We'll be sure to keep everyone informed about what we discover. I'll have to admit though, I'm skeptical of any charity leader who is gullible enough to be suckered by the Mongoose. I'm afraid Betty is about to find out what happens when you associate with Marty. It's never turned out well for anyone. Ever. Never, ever.

With all of the exciting new things adding to Marty's self proclaimed greatness, we here at CoM were worried that Marty had forgotten the love of his life, Bill Windsor. This comment Marty posted on Bill's Facebook page put those fears to rest:

"Bill your request for a PPO against was held in abeyance so you can come back to Oakland County and request that same PPO as the court matter is no longer pending. You really do need to contact the Thomas More Law Center and have them represent you and get a substantial judgment for punitive damages say like $1.5 million dollars."

It appears Marty is still hoping Big Vexi will attack his arch enemy Flemshady for him. Unfortunately, Bill is a little busy trying to find a loophole that will keep him out of prison. The ankle monitor he's currently wearing that prevents him from leaving Missoula Co, Montana might also pose a problem for Marty's plan for Bill to return to Michigan and fight the cyber stalkers for the Mongoose. 

I'll close this latest update with a thought for Marty. Marty suggested Bill contact the Thomas Moore law center to go after Flemshady and get a $1.5 million judgement. Why doesn't Marty contact them to sue for his judgement? He claims he's been defamed and harassed just like Windsor, shouldn't it be just as easy for Marty to get the same judgement he's encouraging Big Vexi to collect? That $1.5 million would be a great way to get MVP Productions rolling wouldn't it? Or at least pay off some but not all of Marty's creditors. 

Think about it Marty, after reimbursing 7-11 for the Slim Jim's you swiped, you might even have enough left to pay down your Dimitri's tab!

New Stupidity Coming Soon

I thought I would put this up just for our disgruntled reader in West Branch. 

Marty Prehn Ball Gagged Again!

The big week has finally arrived, CoMmies!

The great Eastpoint Sock Hop is May 13th and Marty should really have his lying hype machine running full throttle. Press conferences, Hollywood stars arriving in town and, of course, Marty's head stuck as far as possible up Denny McClain's ass.

But... Nothing ever quite goes as planned with our hapless idiot and it appears Marty's latest event hijack attempt has been shut down by the Mayor of Eastpointe and the Cruise Committee. Poor Marty, just another dud to add to his ever-growing list of abject failures. It's now been several weeks since we've heard anything about the Sock Hop from Marty. The Mongoose was going full speed ahead and then suddenly - silence. Total media blackout. Everyone here knows that the only time Marty shuts up is when he's forced to by someone in authority. I have to think that is once again the case. Following Marty's antics isn't rocket science. Information uncovered by our crack team of operatives indicates the mayor of Eastpointe was forced to step in and tell Marty to STFU after she was informed of all the claims Marty was making regarding the cruise and Sock Hop. I was told she was particularly upset by Marty's announced a new catch phrase for the cruise. "Cruising to Stop the Bruising" just didn't go over well at Eastpoint city hall.  Only the likes of Martin Erwin Prehn could give the city formerly known as East Detroit a bad reputation.

Shouldn't we have heard from Marty about when and where the press conference announcing his partnership with an anti bullying Facebook group that he promised would be? I was really looking forward to seeing Marty in the 3XL T-shirt Marty was begging that poor lady to send him for free. Marty also claimed the Sock Hop was going to be the kick off event for the organization's Detroit chapter that he was going to lead. I could already imagine the donation request the Mongoose could make using their name! Think of all the beer and pizza Elder Dawg could have bought. It now appears the only association Marty will have with U.G.L.Y. is his friend Carla and his own reflection.

Now that the Mongoose has been told to shut up once again, Marty is left with just his "friendship" with the disgraced pitcher Denny McClain. We've seen Marty dropping his name in almost every comment he makes lately. How long will it be before Denny figures out Marty is now trying to act like his agent? What will McClain do about it? Will Marty now get a STFU from his childhood hero? If Marty's life continues to follow the usual pattern, then it is a given that Elder Dawg will once again be told to go away quietly.

I'll close this article with a word to a disgruntled commenter on our last post. These updates on Marty's stupidity don't just appear out of thin air. It takes time to research and confirm the details of the idiocy you seem to enjoy reading about. Complaining about the frequency of these updates might make sense if you were paying for the entertainment you come here seeking. I'm not going to just imagine an update because you want to be given a new chuckle more frequently. If you're not satisfied with our coverage of the least interesting man on the planet, all I can say is find a better source and go there with your snide remarks and worthless contribution. Our "little club" has done Marty's future victims a great service by exposing him. What have you done other than enjoy our coverage while doing nothing to help? 

Don't let the clubhouse door hit you in the ass on your way out!