Marty, You're Still An Idiot

Another Hate-Filled Mongoose Christmas On Tap

The Holiday Season is now upon us and shifting into high gear. The Christmas excitement has begun as people get into the holiday spirit. This happens to be our favorite time of year here at CoM because we love Marty's special brand of holiday cheer. When the calendar changes to December each year, it brings out the lonely, bitter, non-stop attacks the Mongoose is well known for. This year is off to a predictable start.

The past few days we have seen Elder Dawg start his holiday tradition of attacking everyone he thinks he has a reason to hate. I've decided we are going to change our approach to covering Marty's "good will towards men", though. I'm not going to post screen shots of his various lie-filled rants because, quite honestly, that's what he wants. He knows nobody other than maybe three or four morons read his ridiculous hateful crap. He gets far more readers here than he does on his own Facebook page and I'm going to deny him the joy of having people actually read his idiocy. I'll just briefly highlight the latest stupidity for our amusement.

Marty started his Yuletide festivities by doing something he's been "promising" to do for over a year now. He posted the transcript from his historic PPO hearing with Sean Fleming. I can honestly say, this is the first promise I have ever seen Marty actually follow through on. The fact it took him a year, not to mention it actually proves he's a huge liar, makes no difference. The Mongoose actually fulfilled a promise. If that's not historic, then I don't know what is. It's a Festivus miracle!

Next, Marty continues his Christmas tradition by posting all of the same worthless threats he does every holiday season, or any other time of year for that matter. You've seen them all so many times now I don't need to post them. Aggravated stalking, prison sentences, Oakland County law enforcement and prosecutors. Fa-la-la! Just give it up, Marty. Nobody is listening anymore because you've been making the same claims for years with absolutely nothing ever happening. Give it a rest, you idiot.

I was impressed with the one new aspect of Marty's worthless threats. He mentioned taking his "case" to federal court in Detroit. Something about "ethic intimidation" and civil rights violations. Marty, you have no "ethics" to intimidate and I'm pretty sure pointing out the stupidity of a lying idiot isn't a civil rights violation.  Maybe he meant "ethnic", but Mongoose legalese is a complicated science.

One last nugget I saw included with the latest Mongoose threat fest was a great example of why stupid morons shouldn't lie while trying to scare people. "Facebook and Yahoo have taken notice....". Your entire "case" against Fleming is your misguided belief that he writes this blog. Please explain to an investigative novice like myself, why anyone would care that Facebook and Yahoo have taken notice of a blog hosted by Google. Other than the fact they're probably laughing at you as well, they have nothing to do with a blog about you written on Blogger.  Maybe you should research who you plan on claiming is helping you prosecute "Flem Ling".  For that matter, he hasn't been charged or even arrested. Special Agent powers notwithstanding, why haven't you at least made a citizen's arrest?

What a dumbass. 

Linda Gets Desperate and Marty Gets Neutered

That look when caught giving a blowjob to a hobo. Priceless.

You guessed it CoMmies, it's that time once again. Here is the latest update on the Moronic Mongoose, Marty Prehn.

Now that Marty can't mooch off of his incarcerated felon son, it appears he has convinced Linda Fergan Bowery to take him back and support him yet again. This is just another example of what a great, powerful, connected, mover and shaker Marty really is. Homeless idiot convinces a lonely woman to take care of him. Sounds like Marty's entire life story.

Anyway, now that Linda is holding Marty's purse strings, it seems she also made him hand over his Facebook testicles. Marty has started using his backup Facebook page instead of his previous incredible life page with 4,118 friends. Instead, he's now posting to just a handful of obscure crackers. That's a pretty small audience for someone as influential as the often black Elder Avenger who has been at it for more than 60 years, don't you think?

Just like most of you I'm sure, I began to worry. We all know a neutered Elder Dawg isn't very fun. Well, don't despair faithful readers, Marty will never be able to contain his inner dumb ass. He posted this recent tidbit:

Of course, we've seen basically this same rant many times before. Elected friends, blah blah blah, proof of stalking, blah blah blah, five year felony, blah blah blah. I'm sure all of these alleged warnings Flem Ling was given by the judge are easy to read in the transcript of the great PPO hearing. You know, that transcript Marty has been threatening to publish for over a year. "It's coming, boy!" Sha, right.

I'll wrap this update up with a very brief summary; Marty has conned Linda into supporting him once again. I believe she now has his filthy testicles in the same purse that holds the money that sustains his lavish, jet-set lifestyle. We are still laughing at his idiotic threats that he'll never be able to deliver on.

Marty Wow! 

The "Curse of Job" Befalls Asshole Marty - Again!

"God often punishes with the taking of a person's child or children or in the case a Job his entire family except his wife to get the sinners attention. Our children are our true inheritnece and my sister through her greed and evil ways has already lost 1 third of her inheritence and sadly I believe her other children will be taken in horrific accidents as God's way of spanking her for the sins and evil that she did to myself and my parents." - Marty Prehn 

It's that time once again, faithful readers! Here is the latest update on our favorite worthless idiot, Marty Prehn. Now that Elder Dawg has been neutered by Facebook yet again, most of the idiocy being committed under the Prehn name is the work of Marty Jr. We'll touch on that, plus give a brief update on Papa.

Over the last month or so, it appears Jr has increased his felonious activities. First he was arrested in Macomb county for several outstanding traffic tickets and a new felony charge of receiving stolen property. After a guilty plea with a sentencing date of October 27th, Jr was released pending sentencing. What to do? "I think I'll hide out at the famous Prehn Cottage of the Stars in Prudenville, Michigan, get a child drunk and statutorily rape her!"

Upon arrest, Jr told the police his name was Kurtis North, his old partner in crime from an earlier felony and current friend of his Baby Mamma, Laquieta. His real identity was discovered after he was fingerprinted for his latest charge of Accosting a minor for Immoral Purposes.  After discovering that a man from the Detroit area was soliciting nude pictures of their daughter on Facebook and coming to visit with booze and a boner, the authorities were alerted and Jr was picked up before he could consummate his evil plan. Seems like the Prehn sexual perversions were passed down to the next generation. Is that included in Mongoose tutoring, Marty? Soon, Jr will be having more sex than his pretty ass can handle. Ouch!

Jr's prison sentencing has now been delayed until December because he was locked up on the new charges and unable to appear in Macomb County court 200 miles away. It's shaping up to be another lonely Facebook Christmas this year for our miserable muse. Keen readers will recall his thug kid being locked up for some reason every year for the holidays. Oh, the magic of Christmas! Anyway, enough about Jr. On to the patriarch of the Prehn crime family, Marty Sr.

Marty has once again managed to get himself suspended from posting on Facebook. This is the closest thing to death Marty can experience. His entire pathetic existence depends on his constant posting and sharing on Facebook anything he can get his greasy sausage fingers on. Poor Marty is even shut out from name dropping and lying on his hero Bill Windsor's now legendary "Goodbye, Cruel World" letter on Facebook. After only a couple of days of suspension, Marty just couldn't take it anymore. He has now begun posting on a Top Secret secondary emergency Facebook account. The funny part about that is, it only has five boring friends and Bill Windsor isn't one of them. Nor is Flo, a Campbell, Chism brat or a single black person! The pathetic moron is basically posting to himself. He can't even make his stupid threats with any hope of his numerous enemies seeing it. Like a little kid whose bicycle has two flat tires, he goes nowhere fast while all the normal and popular children play. Marty Wow!

You can find all of Marty's latest and severely handicapped stupidity here: 

 https://m.facebook.com/marty.prehn.5

So there you have it CoMmies, that's really all there is to report. But cheer up, as you know the Mongoose will be back, more powerful than ever just as soon as his suspension ends. Until then, he's just another homeless idiot that nobody even notices is gone.

And it's a beautiful day...

Marty Prehn Fades Into Ghetto Obscurity

Gentle CoMmies;

Thanks for your continued support of CoM and our coverage of the biggest idiot to ever live, Marty Prehn. As I'm sure you have figured out by the lack of any breaking news, Elder Dawg hasn't done anything worthy of a report lately. As hard as it is to believe, Marty has become even more worthless than he's ever been. Such is the vapid existence of an unwanted and unwashed "Advocate to the Stars" wannabe.

Other than a couple of recent reach-around attempts with Denny McLain and the occasional ass kiss towards the Campbell family, Marty has been tamped down again. No event hijack attempts. No threats towards his estranged family. No new mention of Catherine Falk and the death threats Marty claimed she made against him. Not even the promise of sending Flem Ling to prison "soon boy"! It's almost like Marty finally figured out that people just laughed - while holding their collective breath - every time he opened that anal orifice where his mouth should be.

It also appears that Marty has been unable to cover up his real life misery with his Facebook fantasies. Now that the countdown has begun for Jr's next trip up the river, the Mongoose lair has become a mobile command post. After getting the boot from Jr's drug house, Marty couldn't get any of his black friends to take him in. Nor could he convince Linda to let him back to the apartment where they shared so many cans of Crisco and other perversions. As of this writing, Marty is renting places to flop on a pay by the day basis. We haven't pinpointed his current location because it changes quite frequently. 

Rest assured, faithful CoMmies, that our crack operatives are on the case and we'll have an update shortly. 

Meanwhile, feel free to download our latest release for iPhone and Android from the Apple and Google App stores, complete with our newest game add-on "Mongoose Go", where you can collect droppings and earn free stuff like our iconic T-shirts and - just in time for back to school - the ever-popular lunchboxes!

Love, 

Tut
Xoxo

Justice for Jean - Mongoose Style

Final wishes of Gerhard and Bernice Prehn. Not.

Anyone who reads here has seen our coverage of Marty's financial abuse and physical neglect of his mother. These are absolute facts that were proven in court several times over. Marty was given every chance to prove his claims and defend himself against what we now know was the truth. Elder Dawg was slapped with a contempt of court order instead of providing any of the "proof" he claimed to have. Bottom line, Marty was exposed as a complete liar. Those "secret wills hidden under the front steps of the house" just never seemed to see daylight.

As is the way of the Mongoose, after Marty was exposed and proven to be an elder abuser, he took to Facebook to post all of his lie filled rants. We saw numerous posts, such as:

"He was NOT even allowed to attend his own mothers funeral and he was chosen by his mother to be her personal representative and her wishes were that she was to be cremated and her ashes joined with Marty's father's ashes so that they could become as one again. This was NOT done. His mission is to find JUSTICE for his mother"

Nobody told Marty he couldn't attend the funeral, he was afraid he would be arrested on the Colorado contempt charges if he showed up. Besides, he still had her checkbook, so what's the point? This was obvious by his questions to the detective he was filing his murder charges with the day of mom's funeral. He even claimed to the cop that he was in Washington D.C. at the time, but later bragged to his fake friends that he was in Saint Clair Shores. Just more Marty lies.

A few days ago we saw this idiotic post from Marty:

"Diggers Wanted. Will pay after I prevail in court."

So Marty found a picture of his mother's headstone, probably on Facebook, and posted it with yet another threat he can't possibly make happen. Based on prior Marty claims, the plan must be to dig Bernice up, transport her back to Michigan, have her remains cremated and joined with her husband whose ashes now also rest in Colorado.  I can't help but wonder how Marty thinks he could possibly get any of this idiotic plan done. Marty can't afford to pay his few bills now, how could he pay any of the cost associated his "return my parents to Michigan" crap? I'd be willing to guess, now that the primary bill payer in the Prehn household is once again locked up on felony charges, none of Marty's bills will be getting paid this month.

Does Marty plan on paying for his parents reunion with a federal RICO suit, filed by his super attorney, Barry Powers? Will we soon see a new GoFundMe begging page? Is Marty going to force his siblings to pay all the costs associated with this and if so, how? Does the air-conditioning in the Mongoosemobile even work or is the plan to just steal a few bags of ice from 7-11 for the trip? Will Elder Dawg be hosting the Prehn Family Memorial Dinner and Awards coming soon to a banquet hall near you? Pretty sure we can rule out Barrister Gardens. 

The possibilities are endless when it comes to Marty's scam imagination. 

Marty: Perhaps you should run this idea by Dan Haggerty and Robin Williams over dinner tonight....

Marty's Rhinestone Wet Dream

We're back again with a very brief Moronic Mongoose update. Marty just can't let all that hard work on the "Campbell case" he put in on the couch at Jr's go to waste. He's made no progress trying to weasel his way in with Trudy or Travis Campbell so now it looks as though he's going to try Debbie Campbell next. This was posted by Marty this morning:

Marty seems to have forgotten that Debbie has already told him to go away once. But we all know Elder Dawg isn't going to let something like that get in the way of a celebrity association attempt. I do wonder when Marty became Glen Campbell's personal messenger. Is that included in the Mongoose guardian angel services or is telepathic communication just another superpower possessed by Marty?

I'll wrap this up with this question: Now that it's clear that Marty is targeting yet another member of the Campbell family, will anyone do anything about it? Will Travis and Trudy Campbell continue to let Marty use their names to lie and try to appear to be a family friend? Will Marty haters Rita Clinton and Kelli Mims, who both claim to be close friends with the Campbells, let Marty's next target become a victim? Will any of these people finally step up and call out the Mongoose for being a fraud and liar (my opinion and belief, right Marty?), or just sit by and let him continue to use their name to lie, scam, and swindle? Stay tuned to find out.

Marty Prehn's Hatred Grows

The self-loathing that comes with being a mother-abusing, homeless,

universally hated, thieving, mindless and penniless idiot manifests itself again...

Which can only mean that it's time to indulge ourselves in our favorite guilty pleasure - laughing at the pure stupidity of Marty Prehn!

Karma is a fickle bitch, eh Marty?

Your life sucks and it's not because of Flem, Marlene, Robin, Erica, Guy,

Johnny, Wilson, Sal or anyone else. It's because you're a unique blend of evil

and stupidity that is woefully obvious to everyone who comes in contact with you, be it the clerk who takes your fast-food order, every city council in S/E Michigan or every single celebrity and their offspring that you pester. You're just an annoying, puss-oozing boil on the ass of society.

Anyone who reads here knows that when things go bad for the Mongoose, he always circles back to his old reliable tactic, attack someone. Of course, it's no different this time. We saw this posted by Marty today:

Read aloud with me, CoMmies, Marty's own comment to his post. Bet you have to take a couple of attempts because Marty speaks in a language that is foreign to people of average intelligence. Any psychiatrist would have no problem committing this idiot.

Anyway, as you can see, Marty is once again trying to attack Sean Fleming. The poor dumb ass just isn't smart enough to realize that this comment actually just points out he's a liar. Marty is asking this person to post Fleming's IP address and my question is this: Why does Marty need someone else to post the IP addresses? He's claimed many times to have "captured" Sean's IP address but for some reason he needs someone else to post it. Lie much, Marty? Here is a screen shot from the transcript of Marty and Sean's PPO hearing (you know, the one Marty has been claiming he's going to post for over a year) where Marty testified under oath that he has two IP addresses for Fleming:

This idiot just can't help himself from exposing his own lies. Why don't you post the addresses, asshole? I'll answer that for you, Marty. You're a liar and you don't have any IP addresses. Just one more example of you being completely full of crap. Just like every aspect of your worthless existence.

This leads me to yet another question for Marty. If this person were to post Fleming's IP address, what does that prove? IP addresses only give you the location a person is posting from. Marty has posted Sean's location many times. The only way to prove an IP address of an individual is through records kept by the ISP. Do you even know what that is, Elder Avenger? Are you going to sue them to prove the person posting as Sean Fleming is really... umm, Sean Fleming? Oh, Barry is all over that case - pro bono for my good friend, Marty! You're just too stupid to understand how worthless and laughable your constant IP threats really are. I could easily post Sean's IP address for you and it would do you absolutely no good. Of course, you shouldn't need me to do that based on your perjury, oops, I mean testimony. 

So between the hate-filled posts, Marty continually seeks favor with his new-found "Trumpfriends" and further alienates his few remaining black brethren by endlessly sharing anti-Hillary memes, often adding his own personal Mongoose punditry.  The problem is that he's never funny - not even accidentally. He just continues to make himself look like an ass. It's what he does. He's Marty Prehn.

And it's a beautiful day...

Marty Prehn Hits the Local Media Circuit!

The cycle of the Mongoose begins anew...

Developing story. Stay tuned, CoMmies.

Breaking News: Management Shakeup at MVP Productions!

Ugly Betty Tells Marty to Go to Hell!

Fans, loyal readers, Meroes and CoMmies worldwide!

Thanks for continuing to tune in for our coverage of the worlds dumbest make-believe super hero, Elder Avenger, aka Marty Prehn. 

As Marty continues to drift aimlessly through his fake advocacy without a cause or event to take credit for, it's beginning to look like Elder Dawg has been experiencing some recent financial difficulties. Poor Marty can't seem to get a fundraiser kickstarted to get his few bills paid. Hard times are here again, right Marty? Doesn't look like your MVP partner, Denny, is doing much better with his obligations, either. Jamie always was the brains of that operation, anyway. So the search for a new scam partner is on, with an eye on minority hiring. Al is a natch! Undercover FBI informant brethren, too.

This past week we learned that not only had Marty's phone had been disconnected for a couple of days, the gas at his latest squatting location has been shut off. Everyone that has been within a few feet of Marty knows that having no hot water to shower and wash his clothes with really doesn't change much. Judging from the appearance of his clothes, he doesn't wash them often. And we've all heard about his overpowering smell so taking time away from "working around the clock to save Glen Campbell" for basic hygiene isn't a high priority, anyway. But the disconnection of his phone is probably the worst thing you can do to that idiot. No way to call Flo, lie and threaten on Facebook and such is an absolute nightmare for Marty.

These unpaid bills just provide more proof of Marty's latest scam failures and overall stupidity. We know Marty attacked Linda Fergan's brother, Tom, in the past and now it's come back to bite the Mongoose right in his huge ass. Tom is now in charge at Carquest so you can guess who's hours have taken a drastic cut. It also appears Marty's various undercover assignments with three letter agencies and Sheriff departments aren't paying much. Has the bodyguard business dried up, as well? Veteran escort service, too? There's a joke in there somewhere about him screwing the vets, but I digress.

These service disconnects also highlight the absolute failure of Marty's great dinner. Since the dinner never took place, all the ticket sale money should have been available to pay for at least Marty's precious cell phone bill. The fact he couldn't even get that bill paid on time must mean that tickets weren't "going so fast" after all. Apparently, the dumb ass wasn't able to sell a single ticket. Duh. 

All these financial problems, along with Denny McLain being in the news for more shady business deals, also points out that MVP productions must be floundering as well. Apparently Marty's great non profit LLC isn't generating any money to be siphoned off for Marty or Denny. The only person in that company that's living in the black right now is Jamie. Maybe the other two should join him in collecting bottles and cans. Or getting the shopping carts out of the Kroger parking lot.

Our regular readers all know where this is headed. It's not a matter of if, but when. That's right CoMmies, it's time for a fundraiser. The only questions that I can think of are: What cause will Marty latch onto for an excuse to raise money? What type of fundraiser will it be? A walk? GoFundMe? Big event with high priced tickets? Collection jars on counters at the various liquor stores Marty frequents? Facebook group? The possibilities are endless. The only thing that's "chiseled in stone" is the fact it's coming...

And we'll be there.

Shaken and Stirred Mongoose

After several stark reminders that no one believes, likes or cares to be within 500 feet of him, Marty has again burrowed underground - or "tamped down", as it were. The entire alumni of Marty's high school, his "attorney" Barry and pretty much every black person in Detroit has made it clear - "Go to hell, you lying piece of shit. We've never liked you, anyway!"

Fear not, gentle readers. We're confident that the Mongoose will soon return to his life's mission of being the biggest idiot that ever stole a fistful of Slim Jim's while holding a parking lot press conference.

It's what he does.

Meanwhile, enjoy the break. Your faithful editor is going to meet with investors in our next project, "The Life and Times of Marty Prehn - The Movie", featuring never before seen footage of the Mongoose in action and interviews from some of the most interesting people who have actually had to deal  - and live with - our beloved muse.

Keep those fan letters and tips coming, CoMmies!

Tut

Marty Prehn Hijacks Reunion!

Justice 4 Dimitri's aka Feed the Mongoose

Today we'll continue our trip down Marty Prehn's memory lane. As Elder Hawg is hyping up his latest Michigan legislation claims, I though I'd once again point out that Marty was financially wiping out his mother's savings before she was saved from his care. Here is a good example of a week of Marty having access to mom's bank account even though she was no longer living with him. 

"Marty Prehn Everyone needs to share this with their friends and family as if it can happen to the MONGOOSE it can happen to anyone. Like · 2 · Mar 28 2013"

As you can see, Marty was literally eating her out of all her money. Certainly not someone I'd consider elder advocate material.

Witness for the COMPLAINANT: Exhibit "A"

I hope everyone's weekend is off to a good start. Marty's latest childish games have brought us quite a few new West Coast and Nashville readers. Kansas City, too. Thanks, Marty! 

To help these new fans get a better understanding of the imbecile we love to laugh at, I thought I'd revisit some of our past artwork. Who can forget this classic?

That's a letter found in the trash left at the curb - along with other "intellectual property" - outside of the Lair of the Mongoose after eviction. It's from Florence Iverson, a 94 year old veteran that Marty has been bilking for several years. This poor old woman has never even met Marty, yet he counts on her monthly handouts. This is elder abuse, plain and simple. Certainly unbecoming a Special Agent to the Stars!  What a friggin' dirtball.

Stay tuned, CoMmies. Next up; "Linda Speaks!".

Fireworks.

Tuttle

PS: Shout-Out to my favorite twins!

Marty Prehn Reports

From the desk of the Mongoose:

Keep spreading that love, Marty...

Marty Prehn Aspires to a New Failure Pinnacle

Welcome back, loyal readers - and a special welcome to a few new readers from the Los Angeles area. I hope your Marty research has been very informative and has given you a better understanding of the fake advocate and all around complete fraud, Marty Prehn.

As I'm sure you have figured out from the lack Marty updates recently, there hasn't been much going on with Elder Dawg lately. It appeared that Marty was having a hard time getting over his complete failure with his fantasy Mero dinner and awards program. When you add his expulsion from the Eastpointe Cruise committee on the same weekend of his Metro Detroit Dan Haggerty Orgy/Extravaganza flop, reality was once again kicking the Mongoose in his mangina. What Marty really needed was a new drama to insert himself in so he could pretend to be involved with something other than his total failure at being anything other than a worthless loser. Well, rejoice, CoMmies. Marty has found his next adventure and, as with anything involving Marty, the grandiose idiocy is flying! Among a few rambling, long attack posts from Marty, I've selected this one for your requisite trip into the mind of a complete imbecile:

Welcome back, Marty. I sure have missed your complete stupidity and moronic claims. This one small sample is a classic Marty idiocy spew. God, this dumb-ass just doesn't understand how he highlights how delusional and stupid he is with these posts. I'll quickly point out just a few things in this comment because it pretty much speaks for itself.

Marty starts his post by pointing out he has absolutely no involvement with or connection to this story. "To the attorney and law firm..." He doesn't even know who the firm is that he's now working with as their star witness. Shouldn't you contact Kerri Kasem and find out who will be presenting your greatness to the court?

You're a moron, Marty and the Kasem family told you to go to hell and you know it.

The stupidity continues from there. "Feel free to present this video as evidence of my work as a body guard..." So what Marty is saying is; "show the court this YouTube video of me standing around looking like a fool wearing my special agent hat as proof that I'm an expert at something". No certification, no degree, no training, no work history in the subject, not even a handwritten note from Florence - just a video of an idiot. I can just hear the judge now: "A delusional idiot in Detroit thinks you should get a PPO because he managed to scam his way into a video and sell some t-shirts. GRANTED! Next case."

Next, Elder Idiot makes some stupid claim that two women who cut off his Tennessee bill hijack attempt have made death threats against him and Ms Kasem. And, of course, it's all his "cyber stalker's" fault. These women also committed the heinous crime of commenting anonymously on this blog to slander him. That should blow the case wide open, Marty! This is nothing more than dumb-ass Marty trying to find anyone to come after Sean Fleming and this blog because he has no case against either and is powerless to stop us from exposing him for the idiotic fraud he really is. Good luck with this latest attempt, Marty.  You should ask Bill Windsor how that worked out for him.

Marty finishes his comment with his standard claims of racketeering and conspiracy that he's having several government agencies investigate. He claims he can prove a crime was committed when he attends the federal hearing about this matter. Apparently, everyone has committed RICO violations and death threats. Here's an idea, Elder Idiot. Instead of presenting the court with a non-relevant YouTube video you claim validates your importance, provide the actual death threats made to you. Everyone who reads here, including you, knows that will never happen. We all want you to be around longer than Saturday Night Live!

I'll wrap this up by predicting what is coming next. Marty will now start begging for donations to cover his travel to California so he can present his expert opinion to a law firm he doesn't even know the name of. He'll also need hotel, food, new clothe, and a haircut. I sure hope Flo can somehow get the checkbook back that her niece took from her after she found out about the $600 deposit for Marty's dinner. 

Ahh, just one more thing...

Get busy, Marty. You've got huge failure shoes to fill after your last flop at attention!

Marty Prehn's Reality Sucks

Dear Readers:

If you're following the exploits of our mindless muse and are looking for an update on his seemingly endless idiotic antics, there isn't much to report after his latest epic failure, that being Mongoosapalooza 2016.

Fear not, faithful CoMmies. We've seen this cycle for years. Marty Prehn is currently in "tamped down" mode, but he'll be back soon. Oh, sure, he's still saying stupid stuff on the internet, but even that gets stale. Rest assured that when he launches his next great campaign of pure, unabashed insanity, we'll be all over it like a free buffet at a funeral. Trust us. We are professionals.

John Tuttle, Editor
Chronicles of Marty

Move Over, Dan. Your Dinner is Dead...

"Now is the time, the time is now", but...

There's a somber pale across the faces of Mero's and ticket holders from Nashville to Hollywood and all points in between.

That's right CoMmies, Marty's latest delusion fest, most recently referred to as the Metro Detroit Unity Dinner, has come to its inevitable conclusion. It was cancelled because of lack of payment to Barrister Gardens. Honestly, I don't like using the word cancelled when talking about any Marty event. There would have to be an actual chance there was going to be an event in the first place. We're talking about Marty "The Mongoose" Prehn here. There was not a chance in hell Elder Dawg was going to have any kind of dinner. Keen readers here knew that.

As this blog easily predicted, not a single event Marty claimed was coming in his numerous breaking news posts will happen. I'll do a quick review of the complete bullshit Marty has put out there the last few months. The quantity is so large I'm sure I'll miss a few but, I have complete faith our readers will fill in any blanks I've left.

1. Luau at the "Celebrity Hotel"
2. Celebrity Dan Roast at Gilbert's Lodge
3. Private reception for Corey Clagget
4. Polish dinner with Florence Iverson
5. High Chaparral reunion roundup picnic and country hoedown
6. Red Carpet arrivals at Dinner
7. Black tie buffet dinner with cash bar
8. Variously named award presentations
9. Speeches by Donald Trump, Corey Clagget, Florence Iverson, Pastor Ovella and others, further lumped into "the program"
10. Music to dance to by his good friend Danny D and the Vagabonds, including a song especially written by Marty to the tune of "Oh, Rejoice in the Lord"
11. An antique ambulance on display
12. Donated Harley on display
13. Campaign tables for local politicians
14. Free truck presentation to an Iraqi killer
15. Screening of Justice 4 Jean
16. Reunion tents for church group and high school in the median during the cruise
17. Florence riding in a parade with Marty
18. Free Danny D concert in a park, complete with syncronized flag waving by the crowd
19. No less than four birthday celebrations, including the much anticipated and finally "public" 60th birthday party for the Mongoose himself
20. Live streaming worldwide!

I know I'm missing several but the stupidity gives me a headache. Either way, not a single event will be taking place. Not much value to a ticket holder, regardless if you paid $50, $60, or $73. Bottom line, just the latest Marty delusion in a long list of idiotic events. Mongoosapalooza 2016 was just as successful as the four previous years.

Marty's stupid-ass dinner had at least four different names, 40 winners of the 21 (or was it 22, I lose track) awards, sales of coffee mugs, hoodies, lunchboxes and such. His moronic claims were so unbelievable, they prevented anyone for taking the event seriously. His delusion never had a chance.

Marty;

Once again, your skid-marked pants are around your ankles and everyone is laughing in your idiotic face.  Only a person who has no shame or reputation to lose would dare show up at the Gratiot Cruise this weekend, so I guess we'll see you there!

Marty Prehn, Cruise Volunteer to the Stars!

PS: This blog is making an early prediction that we'll soon see the return of the Berkley Deed Restriction Advocate...

Last Chance, CoMmies!

As you can see by the countdown on this blog, time is running out on your chance to witness history. Marty has been kind enough to give everyone a few more chances to get tickets to his "Dinner of the Century and See the Stars Come Out"! Here are your final chances to throw your hard-earned money to Marty's enormous junk food bill:

"Marty Prehn
Just now
BREAKING NEWS and an EMERGENCY CALL 2 ALL METRO DETROIT HERO'S and Community leaders, Mayors, Police Chiefs, City Council members, Pastors, Judges, lawyers, State Representatives, Senators, business leaders, sports figures, MOTOWN music legends, Ambassador Bridge owners, Detroit sports team owners, restaurant owners tv and radio station personalities and news reporters, and citizens and friends of METRO DETROIT. NOW is the time to buy your tickets to the Friday, June 17th METRO DETROIT HOMETOWN HERO'S & UNITY DINNER that will take place in my hometown of St. Clair Shores, Michigan. Tickets are $50 a piece or a leadership table for 10 can be purchased for $500 with a table towards the front but will be on a first come basis. I will be selling tickets for the next 3 days ONLY at the Eastpointe Cruisin Gratiot cars shows from 4-7pm on the following days and locations. TODAY June 13th at the 9 and Gratiot BIG BOYS in Eastpointe. TOMORROW June 14th at the CLOVERLEAF restaurant on Gratiot between Stephens and 9 mile. And on WEDNESDAY June 15th at the 1st STATE BANK on 9 mile near Gratiot across from the Courthouse and Police Station. Tickets are on a cash only basis and tickets are limited and MUST purchased in advance so the Barrister Gardens Banquet hall has a head count of how many dinners they will have to plan for. I can also be reach on my cell phone at 1 586 563 0989 or message me on fb and friend me if you are not already a friend on fb. BUY YOUR METRO DETROIT HOMETOWN HERO'S & UNITY DINNER tickets TODAY while they last as seating is limited to the 1st 500 ticket holders"

Don't wait too long CoMmies, tickets will soon be gone. Hurry to the ATM or Walmart because as we've already reported, tickets are cash or Walmart money order only.

BE A PART OF MERO HISTORY!

Marty Prehn Plays His Last Trump Card!

Dear CoMmies,

Throughout my time as editor of this blog, there have been very few occasions where I was rendered speechless and unable to report on Marty's complete stupidity. I'm afraid this is one of those times. We've all been quite entertained while watching Marty change his dinner lie to gain the attention of his most recent guest demographic target. It now appears Marty has been shunned once more so the dinner has changed again. Here is the latest fantasy.

"Marty Prehn
We will do better than that. On June 17th at the Barrister Gardens in my hometown of St. Clair Shores, Michigan I will be having a birthday party to celebrate Donald Trumps 70th birthday which is June 14th aka FLAG DAY. We will also be celebrating my 60th birthday which was on May 20th and we will be celebrating the birthdays of 2 other AMERICAN HERO'S. The first is for a former US ARMY and AMERICAN POW Corey Clagett who was incarcerated for over 10 years at Fort Leavenworth after being tried and convicted as a war criminal under the flawed ROE's or RULES OF ENGAGEMENT in a combat situation. His last 6 years he served his country in solitary confinement. He was just released and SET FREE on March 31st, 2016. He will celebrate his birthday for the 1st time in over 10 years. He will also vote for the 1st time in over 10 years and will vote for DONALD TRUMP to be his next PRESIDENT and a real Comnander in Chief. My other AMERICAN Hero is a 94 year old marine and fb friend who has adopted me as her fb son. We have never met and will do so next weekend at the 1st annual METRO DETROIT HOMETOWN HERO'S AND UNITY DINNER. An invitation has been sent out to the Donald Trump people to rearrange his schedule now that the Presidential primaries are over to come to this event and thank both of these AMERICAN HERO'S for their service and celebrate our birthdays together and work together to bring UNITY to the COMMUNITIES and to the REPUBLICAN PARTY at least in the METRO DETROIT AREA and to address the issue of ELDER and GUARDIANSHIP ABUSE and look for solutions to STOP THE VIOLENCE and senseless murders that top the evening news every night. It is time for the media to focus on the HERO'S in the world and not the ZERO'S in the world. I am extending this personal invitation to Donald Trump and his beautiful country and family first or will that be 1st family after the November 2016 Presidential election? This way Republican candidate for President Donald J Trump can come and thank Corey Clagett personally for his service and sacrifice and PROMISE when President of these UNITED STATES that one of his 1st Presidential Executive Orders will be to grant full and unconditional pardons to those AMERICAN HERO'S known as the LEAVENWORTH 10 and publically vow to be the BEST DAMN COMMANDER-IN-CHIEFS this Country has seen since my friend Ronald Reagan was in the White House. Florence Iverson turned 94 on April 15, 2016. And June 15th is the day recognized as the US and International Elder Abuse Awareness Day. Alot to celebrate for. Tickets for this UNITY and REBIRTH of America birthday celebrations are only $50 and can be purchased by contacting my by friending me on fb or calling my cell number which Scott Haggerstrom now has which is 1 586 563 0989 to get your tickets for this historic event. For security reasons and for a head count tickets must be purchased by June 12th at the latest. Democrats and Independents are invited as well as this is a UNITY dinner and a CALL 2 ALL for GOD TO BLESS AMERICA and return AMERICA to being GREAT and respected by the rest of the western civilization. The celebrity and METRO DETROIT HOMETOWN HERO'S red carpet arrivals begin at 5pm dinner served from 6:30-7:30pm and the announcements of the 22 METRO DETROIT HOMETOWN HERO'S who will be the recipients of the Dan Haggerty Humanitarian Award will be announced after the 8pm program. Music will be provided by my friend DANNY D and there will be a cash bar and drinks and dancing and birthday celebrations going on until 1:45am and REMEMBER TO NEVER HIDE YOUR AMERICAN PRIDE.
16 minutes ago ·"

After reading this comment I feel there  is just no way I can recap all the implications it presents in one article. Instead of trying, I'm just going to let everyone here notate what they notice about the latest changes in the comments below. Thanks in advance for your participation.

God love ya and hello...

Tut

It's coming.......

Marty Prehn's Dinner Deathwatch

It's crunch time in Mongooseville!


With only 48 hours left to pay Barrister Gardens for a minimum of 55 dinners, National Fake Advocate Marty Prehn has once again reinvented the whole event to serve his most pressing need - cash. 

As updates from the idiot come more frequently, each one different from the last, I can't help but think Marty Wow!

"Marty Prehn
This is why, my friend, Oakland County Sheriff Mike Bouchard, along with Michigan Asst. Attorney General Mike Goetz and Asst. US ATTORNEY of the EASTERN DISTRICT for the DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE Barbara McQuade aka "MIGHTY MOUSE" have been selected as 3 of the 22 METRO DETROIT'S HOMETOWN HERO'S and are recipients of the 1st annual Dan Haggerty Humanitarian Award at the METRO DETROIT HOMETOWN HERO'S & UNITY DINNER that will take place in my hometown of St. Clair Shores on June 17th at the beautiful Barrister Gardens Banquet facility on Harper Avenue. The celebrity and Hometown HERO'S red carpet and limo arrivals will take place starting at 5pm. Doors open for ticket holders at 6pm. A buffet dinner will be served from 6:30-7:30pm and the HOMETOWN HERO'S & UNITY program starts at 8pm. Music will be provided by Metro Detroit's own DANNY D and his band the VAGABONDS. There will be a cash bar and a birthday cake to celebrate my 60th birthday that took place on May 20th. I will be your host along with the St. Clair Shores Legend and the original SPIRIT OF METRO DETROIT Mr. Detroit Tiger himself Jamie Victory and DETROIT'S own QUEEN OF SOULS and U C.O.A. co-founder Pastor Ovella Davis of CODE 22. This will be a terrific time for the STARS 2 SHINE in between the RED, WHITE and BLUE. Tickets are $50 and must be purchased in advance. This is a pay forward event so call me to secure your free ticket and pass it on to someone else who may not be able to afford a ticket but wants to learn how to be a HERO and a MERO. Messenger me on fb or call or text me a message on my cell phone at 1 586 563 0989. And don't forget that this is a HERO'S convention so bring you black tie, tux or evening gown or dress up as your favorite SUPER HERO or if you think a Hollywood Legend looks like you then come dressed up like them and any HOMETOWN DETROIT SPORTS LEGENDS and MOTOWN SINGING LEGENDS are invited to attend as well and see which tv station WDIV, WXYZ OR FOX 2 NEWS DETROIT will be the winner of the CELEBRITY CHALLENGE and get the most HOLLYWOOD and NASHVILLE LEGENDS to come to this event. My cell number again is 1 586 563 0989. This will also be a GRAND RIVER BALL challenge to see who can get the most local and national corporate sponsors to donate a minimum of $1,000 for this 501c3 U.C.O.A. fundraiser event and who can get the largest single donation. I hope that Scott Haggerstrom, Donald Trump and Hilliary Clinton will take on this HOMETOWN HERO'S & CELEBRITY CHALLENGE as they are invited to attend this UNITY DINNER as well. WHICH ONE WILL ANSWER THE CALL TO MAKE AMERICA GREAT ONCE AGAIN?

MARTY WHO?
MARTY WHERE?
MARTY WOW!

WHO IS YOUR HERO AND EVEN MORE IMPORTANTLY WHOSE HERO ARE YOU?"

Marty starts his latest with yet another of his "friends" he graciously upgraded to an official award winner.  Mongoose math is very complicated, as he's now made almost 40 people one of the 22 (up from the original 21) award winners. What's the idiot going to do if they all show up to claim an award? My guess is they'll stand outside the locked doors at Barrister Gardens with anyone else who was dumb enough to have believed this lying moron.

Marty then goes through the standard dinner announcement. Location (balance due), band (still not on their schedule because they haven't been paid), cash bar, and his leftover birthday cake from Comerica Park last month with Denny and other dignitaries.

The next part of Marty's newest lie is the part I find most intriguing. He announced that he's added a third host - Pastor Ovella Davis, a Detroit area pastor with a 501c3 charity. It's not hard to figure out the way his scamming Tinker Toy brain came up with this new twist. Marty has finally learned that local companies and national corporations just don't donate cash (or a new truck) to some fat idiot who walks in off the street and asks you make a charitable donation to an individual. "Cash or Walmart money orders only". Marty needs a registered charity's name to use while begging. He seemed to forget to mention how much, if anything, goes to this charity. So far, all proceeds are planned to go directly to Martin E. Prehn. I wonder if Pastor Davis has her cocktail dress ready or if she even knows she is a host. Is she prepared to join Marty and Jamie with their comedy routine that "had the old folks peeing themselves"?

We then see the next ticket price reduction. Tickets are now a flat $50 instead of a couple or table of ten discount. The part that I'm confused by is his "pay it forward" thing. "Contact me for your free ticket...." Is Marty just giving away tickets now or are they buy one and get one free? Did a donor "pay it forward" and finance tickets for the poor? Is there a screening process for who gets the free tickets or just the first 300 who ask? As with any Marty announcement, so many unanswered questions.

Next, the delusion train starts to veer off the tracks. Marty reminds people to wear their tuxedo or ballgown but then takes this dignified event into a completely different direction. He encourages people to dress up as their favorite superhero, or if they look like a celebrity, dress like them. Has Marty's black tie dinner now become a costume party? Does he need celebrity lookalikes for his hour long red carpet walk because no real celebrities are coming? Personally, I'm going to go dumpster diving in a Salvation Army Dropbox, find a ratty old sports coat, don a stupid hat, stuff a couple of over-ripe cantaloupes under my shirt and go as the Elder Avenger. I suppose I should quit showering for the next few weeks, too.

I'm just going to skim over Marty's attempt to get various TV stations to supply his dinner with Hollywood and Nashville Legends. You know, all those people Marty claims to be friends with that he already promised would be there. I'll also skip his dropping of the name of the charity to use while people try to get the corporate donations he's already bragged about getting, as well. I do wonder if those donations are also supposed to be cash or Walmart person-to-person money orders. That's P-R-E-H-N for all those $1,000 money orders. I guess the liquor store doesn't cash personal checks.

I'll close this latest report by saying what everyone here already knows. There will be no dinner, no red carpet, no superhero costumes, no Hollywood stars or look-a-likes, no band, no charitable donations or for that matter, no Marty. June 17th will come and go unceremoniously, just like the previous Mongoosapaloozas.

Damn you, Flem Ling!

Detroit Reopens S.T.R.E.S.S. Unit

Dateline Detroit: Decades after Coleman Young disbanded the controversial police S.T.R.E.S.S. (Stop The Robberies Enjoy Safe Streets) unit, there is a hue and cry from the good citizens of the Motor City to reopen and retool the task force...

Stop This Retard's Endless Stupid Scams!

Stay tuned, CoMmies, as we're just getting started...

Awards Dinner Death Spiral

Stay tuned, CoMmies. Don't miss the "fireworks"...

Marty Prehn's "I Need an Event Name" (aka "Can I get my deposit back?")

From our roving reporter, Robert Cookout, III:

"There is a certain electricity in the air here in Macomb County, Michigan as we enter into the Mongoose Season. Shopping mall traffic is running a brisk pace as the locals prepare for the month-long festivities, starting with Marty's birthday party at Comerica Park Friday and ending in a grand fashion with the Dan Haggerty Awards next month."

When I accepted the job of editor of this blog I thought to myself: "How hard can it be?" I'm now starting to understand why RC3 turned to the bottle in an attempt to cope with the continuous stream of complete and vapid stupidity that comes from Marty 24/7. Elder Dawg is so full of shit even he can't keep up with his constant new lies. I've reached the point where I can no longer keep all of the various claims about Marty's imaginary dinner straight. It's seems that the closer we get to June 16th-18th, the more the weekend events change. This fake event changes by the hour depending on who Marty is lying to at the moment.

Normally, when doing these reviews, I post a screen shot of whatever the latest lie is to fall out of Elder Dawg's overworked pie hole. Now that Marty has ramped up his last minute lie fest as he runs short on time, there are just too many to post. Not to mention, the length of these new claims just keeps growing. For example, one of his new updates is so long, it takes three screen shots to cover it all. There really isn't any point in wasting that much bandwidth just for the latest eye roll inducing Mongoose droppings. For this update, I'll just point out the obvious bullshit and assume that our loyal readers know it exists in cyberspace and is shared with 3,800 faceless "friends".

One of the most obvious signs that this entire dinner fiasco is nothing more than a Marty delusion is the constantly changing name. Marty claimed last week that 500 tickets had been printed, but the hall would hold up to 1000. I've seen the dinner called by three different names the last few days alone. I can't even begin to remember the total number of different names this fantasy has had since the beginning. I'd like to know what name is actually printed on these newly produced tickets and why can't Marty use one as a cheat sheet when hyping his event? If all the names he has used recently were printed on the tickets, they would be poster size. No wonder the availability date keeps changing. The print shop must be going crazy with the constant reorders.

Marty's latest great dinner announcement involves one of his previous fake advocacy crusades, the Leavenworth 10. One of these men, Corey Clagett, was released a couple of months ago. Of course this made him a new Marty favorite target. Now Marty not only claims Corey has confirmed he will be attending Marty's red carpet, black tie dinner to be honored, but Marty is also going to present him with a brand new blue truck to reward him for his service to the country. Apparently, Corey needs this truck to use as transportation to his job working for some charity. I guess Marty doesn't think Mr Clagett should have to drive the yellow truck or Corvette that are pictured on his Facebook page. Marty: Make sure his new truck comes with North Carolina plates. We don't need another out-of-state plate scandal like that Shylock Pixley character pulled last November...

Marty also decides to mention the man's mother will also be coming to Detroit to attend Elder Dawg's historical dinner. Here is a screen shot of a small part of Marty's epic announcement;

As usual, Marty can't go more than a day without proclaiming he's having a fundraiser for something. Marty fails to mention what this fundraiser is or where and when it is so, I assume it's another top secret affair. Maybe he's having it at the same location he held his Unity in the Community Task Force press conference. Just think "metro" CoMmies and you'll know as much as Marty about the secret location. Sneaky little retard, eh?

Another part of the constant lies Marty is struggling to remember is the sale of tickets to his dream. His latest announcement claims tickets sales will start on his birthday. I'm a little confused about how tickets were "going fast" over a month ago, and the few remaining tickets would be sold at a Danny D show if the tickets weren't even available? Oh, you moronic imbecile. I can keep up with your lies better than you can, Marty!

Another aspect of the ticket confusion is the price. Originally tickets were on sale for $73.00 but in Marty's latest claims they are now $60.00 in honor if his 60th birthday. I think this might be a case of Marty mixing two of his delusions together. Weren't the tickets to Marty's 60th birthday party/fix the cottage toilet dinner also $60.00? You remember that one right? The dinner complete with a raffle to win a weekend at his parents historical destination of the stars lake cottage. The one with no hot water, rusted pipes, and the previously mentioned broken toilet. Not sure when that event was cancelled but I do wonder if those ticket holders can exchange their tickets for one to his next event.

Marty was nice enough to use his BJU college education to help us all with ticket math. Tickets are now $60 or you can purchase a table of ten for the low price of $500. Thanks for pointing out that equates to $50 a ticket, Marty. I never would have been able to figure it out on Bob's expense report.

Since Marty was kind enough to help us all with some math, I figure I'll return the favor. Barrister Gardens has a 55 person minimum to hold an event. They charge $30 a person. That's works out to $1,650. Danny D wants $1,400 to provide an evening of entertainment. After you subtract the $600 deposit on the banquet hall that Marty conned Flo into putting on her credit card, he has a minimum balance of $2,450 due just for the hall and music. When you start adding up the other expenses involved such as red carpet rental, security, tuxedo rental, and so on, it looks like the Mongoose has some large bills coming due soon. If Marty sells 6 tables of ten at $500 each, that might be enough to cover those costs but then he'll have another problem. That's already 60 people, 5 over the minimum. When you take into consideration all of the award winners and Marty's personal special guests that won't be paying for their ticket, the amount  just keeps rising. I don't think Marty's math skills have worked out all of those details. Maybe Rita Maid can help. She went to accounting school.

I'm not even going to attempt to cover all of the election candidates that Marty invited to attend and set up campaign booths. You know the clueless ass didn't figure any of those people into his math. Do they pay for a ticket? Is there a limit to how many people they can bring to work their booth? Do they get dinner or not?

Looking at both the length of this article, and the pile of Mongoose lies I still haven't mentioned, I've decided it's just too much to cover. I'm not even going to start with all the questions I have for Marty the Moron. I'll just close with this. We all know there will be no dinner, Danny D isn't going to be playing, nobody will be getting an award, no celebrities will be red carpet walking, and most importantly, I'm not going to get a Grizzly Adams coffee mug, hoodie, or lunchbox!

I might never recover from that disappointment. Move over, Cookout. I'll be crying in my beer next to you at the bar.