Ugly Betty Tells Marty to Go to Hell!
Fans, loyal readers, Meroes and CoMmies worldwide!
Thanks for continuing to tune in for our coverage of the worlds dumbest make-believe super hero, Elder Avenger, aka Marty Prehn.
As Marty continues to drift aimlessly through his fake advocacy without a cause or event to take credit for, it's beginning to look like Elder Dawg has been experiencing some recent financial difficulties. Poor Marty can't seem to get a fundraiser kickstarted to get his few bills paid. Hard times are here again, right Marty? Doesn't look like your MVP partner, Denny, is doing much better with his obligations, either. Jamie always was the brains of that operation, anyway. So the search for a new scam partner is on, with an eye on minority hiring. Al is a natch! Undercover FBI informant brethren, too.
This past week we learned that not only had Marty's phone had been disconnected for a couple of days, the gas at his latest squatting location has been shut off. Everyone that has been within a few feet of Marty knows that having no hot water to shower and wash his clothes with really doesn't change much. Judging from the appearance of his clothes, he doesn't wash them often. And we've all heard about his overpowering smell so taking time away from "working around the clock to save Glen Campbell" for basic hygiene isn't a high priority, anyway. But the disconnection of his phone is probably the worst thing you can do to that idiot. No way to call Flo, lie and threaten on Facebook and such is an absolute nightmare for Marty.
These unpaid bills just provide more proof of Marty's latest scam failures and overall stupidity. We know Marty attacked Linda Fergan's brother, Tom, in the past and now it's come back to bite the Mongoose right in his huge ass. Tom is now in charge at Carquest so you can guess who's hours have taken a drastic cut. It also appears Marty's various undercover assignments with three letter agencies and Sheriff departments aren't paying much. Has the bodyguard business dried up, as well? Veteran escort service, too? There's a joke in there somewhere about him screwing the vets, but I digress.
These service disconnects also highlight the absolute failure of Marty's great dinner. Since the dinner never took place, all the ticket sale money should have been available to pay for at least Marty's precious cell phone bill. The fact he couldn't even get that bill paid on time must mean that tickets weren't "going so fast" after all. Apparently, the dumb ass wasn't able to sell a single ticket. Duh.
All these financial problems, along with Denny McLain being in the news for more shady business deals, also points out that MVP productions must be floundering as well. Apparently Marty's great non profit LLC isn't generating any money to be siphoned off for Marty or Denny. The only person in that company that's living in the black right now is Jamie. Maybe the other two should join him in collecting bottles and cans. Or getting the shopping carts out of the Kroger parking lot.
Our regular readers all know where this is headed. It's not a matter of if, but when. That's right CoMmies, it's time for a fundraiser. The only questions that I can think of are: What cause will Marty latch onto for an excuse to raise money? What type of fundraiser will it be? A walk? GoFundMe? Big event with high priced tickets? Collection jars on counters at the various liquor stores Marty frequents? Facebook group? The possibilities are endless. The only thing that's "chiseled in stone" is the fact it's coming...
And we'll be there.
