Happy Marty Prehn Day!

Thanks, Mongoose!

Goofy, Stupid, Lying Marty Prehn

Then, quite suddenly, the dream is dead.

Always starts the same. Always ends the same.

Shameless Mongoose.

Perpetual Victim, Marty Prehn

In preparation for our annual Mongoose Year in Review Holiday Supplement, a CoMmie favorite, I came across a nugget that was worthy of immediate discussion. With the abundance of stupidity the Mongoose spews, the entertainment never seems to stop.

While browsing Facebook yesterday, I happened across another hilarious example of how irony is completely lost on Marty. Watching him accuse and complain about people doing the exact things he does 20 times a day on Facebook amuses us all. How does this idiot not see how stupid he makes himself look every time he posts his accusations about others? Here is a good example of what I'm referring to:

"Flem Shady admits to HATE speech and has made a number of threats to a number of people as has the Grim Healer and her ball less fiance. Yesterday at 1:25pm"

Am I the only person who sees how ironic this post is? The undisputed king of the Facebook threat is complaining about some imaginary threats he claims were made. How stupid can Marty be to cry about someone making a "threat" to someone when he does it several times a day? That one part of this post is enough to review alone. I'm just going to skip over his hate speech claim. Apparently what Marty says about Muslims isn't considered hate speech in the book of Mongoose etiquette. I also won't bother pointing out what a coward Marty is to post his crap to fake friends only or his fear of using his target's real names. Today, I'll just stick to his threat whine.

Marty's constant crying about his fabrication that Sean Fleming threatened someone has become quite laughable. He's always claiming threats were made and he has the proof. Yet, despite the fact that Marty's entire fantasy life is posted all day on Facebook, not once has he ever shown a threat. EVER! Where are these numerous threats, Marty? Just more of your constant lies on display. Show us a threat Marty!!

Anyway, even if some sort of threat had been made, what right does Marty have to complain about it? He posts numerous threats toward a multitude of people all day long. For example, his lame ass made up threats were flying towards a recent widow before she could even bury her deceased husband. Here is one of several threat filled comments Marty made after the death of Dr Chism:

That's right, Marty, your little "change the group settings" plan to hide your utter stupidity worked out just like everything you attempt - complete failure. 

We saw everything posted in your little group and I chose not to publish it because several people who had actual grief over a family member's passing read here. Your new whining about threats made me change my mind. How in your twisted little pea brain is it somehow acceptable to post that type of crap all over the Internet, even though you tried to hide it like the true coward you are, then complain about some made up threat by someone else that doesn't actually exist? Typical stupidity from the absolute dumbest person I've ever encountered. The worst part of this bullshit threat is the fact you're most likely guilty of everything you claim this person will be charged with, upon information and belief, of course.

In a recent comment exchange, even one of Marty's "friends" pointed out that he complains about things people are supposedly doing to him, then proceeds to do that exact thing himself. Of course, after he insulted that person for pointing out his hypocrisy, they realized he was an idiot and removed him as a friend. That seems to be the regular result anytime someone pays attention to what he's saying. No matter how hard Marty tries, he can't seem to hide being an asshole. They all figure it out eventually. Except maybe old senile polish women. 

I'll close this article with a few words directed to our biggest reader: You're an idiot Marty. When you spend all day posting threats on Facebook, it's really stupid to cry about someone making a threat. Even though no threats were made and you just lie out your fat ass in another attempt to paint someone in a bad light, it's very ironic to see you whine about it. Maybe you should look up the word "irony", Marty. 

On second thought, just look up "imbecile."

The Secret Double Life of Agent Prehn

Welcome back loyal readers, and a special shout out to the new readers that responded to our handouts at Camp Patriot!

While watching TV a few days ago, I saw a commercial that made me think of Marty Prehn. I know I shouldn't bring my work home with me, but it happened. In the commercial there is a famous person featured comparing himself to another version of himself. This is so true to life for the Moronic Mongoose. There are actually two versions of Marty: Facebook Marty and real life Marty. Today, I'll juxtapose the differences between the two.

In Marty's fantasy life on Facebook, he is a superhero. Marty has given himself a couple of superhero names that he uses like he came straight out of a comic book. The Elder Avenger or Elder D.A.W.G. are the two most used. Marty once claimed an auto company was going to supply him with a tricked out car, similar to the Batmobile, to drive around the country performing his "good works". There was even a time recently where Marty posted a picture of the Batmobile and added the comment "Elder Avenger?" to it. His superhero personas are constantly coming to the rescue or promising to right some injustice.

Unfortunately for Marty, his real life is nothing like that of a superhero. He drives a POS SUV that's constantly in danger of breaking down every time it's used. The Mongoose is so broke, he can't afford a superhero costume either. You won't be seeing the Elder Avenger running around Detroit wearing a cape and tights. That is unless he ties his one stained sheet around his neck and stole some of Linda's XXXL pantyhose. Then he'd still have to steal spare change just to put gas in the Mongoosemobile. Regardless, it'll still be same old Marty waddling around in his thrift store jeans and shirt that is way too small. On a good day, you might catch him in that same ratty sports coat and sweat soaked shirt. And, of course, his Walmart "Special Agent" hat. I won't even mention how hard it is to be a superhero when the location of your secret lair changes according to who will let you flop on their couch or living room floor.

The left is Marty's Facebook bedroom, actual is on the right...

Facebook Marty is also a mover/shaker in the entertainment industry. He's friends with any Hollywood star that is in the news. He's worked as a voice coach for Sly Stallone in the Rocky movies. Marty is also a screen writer, having written a movie script for the Lifetime or Hallmark channels - I was never sure which because it changed by the day. He was also to star in his movie. There was another script supposedly floating around where Marty was a prize fighter. All of this makes Marty a sought out guest on daytime talk shows. He's announced several times he'll soon be appearing with whoever he's currently lying to on Ellen, Dr Phil and so on. Same story with the late night shows, including Leno, Letterman and Fallon. Marty's original production company, MTM Productions, was even producing a TV show similar to America's Most Wanted and Marty proclaimed "Hollywood here I come".

Of course, real life is much different for the complete idiot. We've all seen his pathetic Facebook messages begging Ellen and Dr Phil to have him on their shows. The moron showed up at fundraisers where celebrities were appearing, carrying his own version of an Oscar (dumpster-bound souvenir statue) trying to get in a picture with them. Marty posted a picture several months ago of him with his "close personal friend" Dan (Grizzly Adams) Haggerty. With the announcement a few days ago that Griz has cancer, Marty posted a couple of other pictures he took that day. They were taken while he was standing in an autograph line. Why would Marty need to stand in line for an autograph from a close friend? Why not get the autograph the next time you're "hanging out" with him. Of course, he recalled personal, intimate stories the two had shared and spoke of him in the past sense, as if he's already dead. Idiot. If and when Haggerty passes, Marty will likely learn from reading this blog 25 times a day.

Another part of Marty's Facebook life he's really proud of is his political power. He's friends with more elected officials than I have the bandwidth to list here. The Mongoose is constantly instructing the Michigan legislature to pass laws, have senators intervene on other's behalf, heading up national tasks forces, going to Washington D.C. to twist arms. Lunch with Sarah Palin, the Governor coming to Saint Clair Shores to meet with him. Pete Lucido setting up an office in Marty's inherited lake cottage. The political clout this man has is incredible. A real powerhouse, that delivery boy is.

Of course, reality is again a slap in the face to Marty. His continued crying for laws to protect the lying idiot from "cyber stalkers" go unanswered. His non stop emails to the Michigan AG go straight into the spam folder. He's never gotten close enough to Sarah Palin to get her picture. He was recently slapped down by the mayor of Eastpoint over his cruise hijack attempts. He's even been banned from speaking at the SCS city council meetings. You'd think the mayors and councils of these local cities would fear offending someone with the ability to get them voted out of office the next election. Well, they do, but that just isn't Marty. He's considered the village idiot in both of those cities, plus several others I'm sure. How's the love coming from Berkley these days, Marty?

No article about the incredible Facebook life Marty leads would be complete without covering Marty's many associations with government and law enforcement agencies. Marty works for the FBI, CIA, Secret Service, DOJ, Michigan State Police, and various sheriff's departments, just to name a few. His

original self-given nickname, Mongoose, was his code name while guarding the life of candidate Reagan and continued when working deep undercover for the CIA many years ago. He's a Secret Agent, Undercover Agent, informant, Special Agent and so on and so on. It was only a few months ago that Marty was riding in the protection detail for the President's visit to Michigan. Marty is even ranked high enough in the Michigan State Police that he personally arraigned for his friend Carla to have a police escort from the airport to the Oakland County courthouse so she could file an affidavit and make it back in time for her connecting flight. That can't be a small undertaking. The Mongoose was the agent in charge of the hidden camera bedroom surveillance of a woman in Texas that he claimed he was going to personally slap the cuffs on. You have to be a really high ranking member of the FBI to have multi-state agent in charge status, I would think. Marty is continuously having people investigated by all of the agencies listed above. As he's bragged, he has put many people behind bars himself!

Back to reality you poor, hapless imbecile. The only agency you've ever been in genuine communication with hands out the food stamps. Law enforcement and government agencies go to great lengths to keep their agents and informants secret. Those informants and agents don't brag about it on Facebook, you moron. You've never worked for any agency or sheriff. You've never instigated an investigation or worked undercover. You're a part-time auto parts delivery boy. You claim to be a law enforcement agent, yet you pissed yourself and ran away when "scarecrow" Dave Wilson threatened to kick your ass. Facebook badass, real life coward. None of the charges you've claimed your enemies were being arrested for have ever come true. No agency has ever investigated anything you claimed they were. Nothing more than empty threats and complete lies. Story of your real life, dumb ass.

Marty's Facebook life is so incredible, I just can't cover it all in one article. I haven't even mentioned all of Marty's advocacy claims or his great influence on the local and national media. Nor can I cover his day spent planning the reunification of Germany with the the Gipper or his recently revealed marching with MLK the day before his assassination. If only Marty had stayed a little longer, Dr King might still be alive today. There is only so much time in the day to cover Marty's lies and as usual, he has greatly exceeded my daily limit.

A man with such an incredible life should be getting hailed and celebrated. He should be living comfortably in retirement while writing his memoirs, not delivering auto parts and squatting in a dump where the house next door had to be burned down because of the infestation problems. His government retirement benefits should include medical coverage to pay for his pacemaker or heart transplant - whichever the latest GoFundMe scam page claims. How sad is it that this incredible American has to depend on the charity/pity of an over ninety year old senile lady to be able to feed himself Big Macs and pay his cell phone bill? 

Wake up, America. Support your local idiot!

Marty and his Silly Fantasies

One of the lessons we've learned here at CoM is this: Marty spews some of his best stupidity on the weekends. Actually, Friday Saturday and Sunday have been the best times to witness Marty at his idiocy peak. It's as if the Mongoose considers lying and attacking people ideal activities for an enjoyable weekend, not to mention, it's the only activity Marty can afford. What a great life ELDER D.A.W.G. has! 

I'm glad to inform everyone that this Saturday, all indications are that Marty will once again supply us with some weekend laughs. I noticed this Saturday morning post earlier: 

"Marty Prehn 1 hr edited This company, PRIMO FRAME AND COLLISION of Eastpointe, Michigan needs to be investigated for tax evasion and operating with out being a registered business with the State of Michigan and insurance claims fraud and fabricated towing bills. Why is the City of Eastpointe taking their police cars there to get repaired? The city manager Steve Duschene needs to check this out as well as Ruth Johnson from the Michigan Secretary of State and the Michigan Department of Treasury for tax evasion and fraud and for paying people under the table and using a computer to commit crimes and title jumping. This business is not located in Warren but is in Eastpointe and needs to be shut down and investigated. No local and state taxes or employment or employee taxes paid for several years now. WHY?" 

On the surface this appears to be an average, run of the mill empty threat from the Mongoose. Marty is continuously calling for investigations into anyone who has figured out that he's a total loser, but this threat is actually another great example of just how full of shit Marty really is. This next comment was posted, along with pictures of Primo's business permits, in an article on this blog June 24th 2014: 

"Marty Prehn 1 hr · Don't forget to attend the 7:30 Berkley Planning Commission Meeting and let your voices be heard. Next up will be the raid on Primo Frame and Collision for failure to pay state and federal taxes and employee payroll taxes. This will be conducted by the Michigan Treasury Department and the Michigan State Police. Cars will be seized including a silver Mercedes and the business padlocked and closed for business for failing to register as a business in the State of Michigan." 

In the top comment that was made Saturday, Marty states this business NEEDS to be investigated. Yet, over a year ago Marty was describing a pending law enforcement raid on this same business. Wouldn't an investigation have to have been completed before the great raid Marty is so happily bragging is imminent? Why is an investigation needed again? Why wasn't Primo's "padlocked and closed for business"? I'm sure the answers to those questions are easy to figure out. No branch or agency of any government, foreign or domestic, takes anything from this "mental patient in waiting" serious.

"How stupid can one man be?" is the real head scratcher. Marty was obviously lying in the earlier comment because no raid ever took place. The legal business permits were posted on this blog. Yet a year later, Marty is calling for an investigation into the exact same allegations. Marty, you've really got to create a system that will help you keep track of your lies so you'll quit exposing yourself because you can't remember your previous Mongoose droppings. It's easy. All of our employees use our massive database of your bullshit. 

I'll close this article by pointing out another Marty lie that was supposed to be happening today. Who, other than Marty, could forget this comment: 

"Marty Prehn August 15. 2015 is Detroit Tigers retirement day up at Houghton Lake for number 17 Cy Young Award Winner and 2 time MVP Denny McLain and number 11 and 11 time gold glove award winning catcher Bill Freehan and 1968 MLB World Series Champions." 

I would think Marty would be hyping this event on his Facebook page, or even be busy with last minute setup and preparation for this great party. Instead, the idiot has been posting silly Facebook memes nonstop all day. Did you forget about this lie too, Marty? If the party was rescheduled, as I'm sure you'll claim after reading this - probably because of Denny's foot, shouldn't MVP Productions have announced this? How many poor Tiger's fans will show up at the lake looking for the party? I'll answer that one for you Marty, NONE. That's because everyone knows you are a complete fraud and liar, and, like everything else, a complete failure.

Silly Mongoose. Silly, stupid, fat Mongoose.

The Anticipated Return of The Mongoose

Greetings, faithful readers. Thanks again for joining us in covering the unbelievable stupidity of Marty Prehn. The entire staff here at CoM decided we needed a vacation from the stress that reporting on the Mongoose can cause. The sifting through the lies and abject stupidity had jaded us all and we took a corporate training sabbatical in Vegas, so the timing couldn't have been better for Marty's latest Facebook timeout. The break was needed and well deserved. That being said, I'll use one of Marty's catch phrases, "now is the time and the time is now!"

The much anticipated end of Elder Dawg's suspension is  Monday July 20th. Every reader here knows what is sure to come on Monday - lies and stupidity of Mongoose proportions! Marty will have plenty of pent up rage to spew all over Facebook and threats galore will be flying as the idiot makes up for lost time. I can only imagine how many 20 year prison sentences Marty will personally guarantee are coming soon. Numerous PPO's waiting to be served. And the always soon to come "fireworks"! Let the idiocy commence!

After Marty finishes threatening half of the country with investigations by every law enforcement agency that has a badge, he'll then be able to resume his fantasy Facebook life. These suspensions must be really hard on the Mongoose. Marty spends 30 days stuck in the reality of his meaningless, lonely existence. Now he will once again be free to dream of recognition, respect, and importance! The one-man hype machine will crank up and get busy promoting his fake advocacy, imaginary events, and new friendships with anyone who has been in the news lately. Will Marty's return make the front page of USA Today, or will Marty have to settle for page three?

Marty is also really way behind in his promotion of MVP Productions. Isn't there supposed to be a Marty organized "Unity Night" at a Detroit Tiger's game soon? What about the Tiger's retirement party at the lake cottage in August? How many $50 tickets have been purchased so far? I also wonder about all the MVP summer camps with every pro sports league that Marty announced were coming. Summer is half way over Marty, don't you need to tell us when and where these camps will be taking place? My kids were really looking forward to those!

I have so many unanswered questions that Marty can address as soon as his suspension is over. When will the Tigers retire Denny's number? Are they going to un-retire Sparky Anderson's number so that they can retire it again under one of your favorite players name? How many of your events will the Ilitch family be funding, in spite of your previous attacks on them? Will Marty be able to suppress his hatred of Muslims in order to get on the news while supporting a Muslim activist? Is Pete Lucido's office you set up on the floor of your parent's cottage up and running? I can't wait to hear about Marty's progress in all of these areas, including his surveillance of the evil Flemshady.

I'll close this brief report now because I'll be working all weekend preparing for the dump truck full of Mongoose droppings that will be spread over Facebook starting on Monday. I'm sure Marty will be in classic Mongoose lying form.

Brace yourselves, CoMmies, the Bullshit Tsunami is heading our way!

*** No disrespect intended to the actually developmentally disabled.