Greetings, faithful readers. Thanks again for joining us in covering the unbelievable stupidity of Marty Prehn. The entire staff here at CoM decided we needed a vacation from the stress that reporting on the Mongoose can cause. The sifting through the lies and abject stupidity had jaded us all and we took a corporate training sabbatical in Vegas, so the timing couldn't have been better for Marty's latest Facebook timeout. The break was needed and well deserved. That being said, I'll use one of Marty's catch phrases, "now is the time and the time is now!"
The much anticipated end of Elder Dawg's suspension is Monday July 20th. Every reader here knows what is sure to come on Monday - lies and stupidity of Mongoose proportions! Marty will have plenty of pent up rage to spew all over Facebook and threats galore will be flying as the idiot makes up for lost time. I can only imagine how many 20 year prison sentences Marty will personally guarantee are coming soon. Numerous PPO's waiting to be served. And the always soon to come "fireworks"! Let the idiocy commence!
After Marty finishes threatening half of the country with investigations by every law enforcement agency that has a badge, he'll then be able to resume his fantasy Facebook life. These suspensions must be really hard on the Mongoose. Marty spends 30 days stuck in the reality of his meaningless, lonely existence. Now he will once again be free to dream of recognition, respect, and importance! The one-man hype machine will crank up and get busy promoting his fake advocacy, imaginary events, and new friendships with anyone who has been in the news lately. Will Marty's return make the front page of USA Today, or will Marty have to settle for page three?
Marty is also really way behind in his promotion of MVP Productions. Isn't there supposed to be a Marty organized "Unity Night" at a Detroit Tiger's game soon? What about the Tiger's retirement party at the lake cottage in August? How many $50 tickets have been purchased so far? I also wonder about all the MVP summer camps with every pro sports league that Marty announced were coming. Summer is half way over Marty, don't you need to tell us when and where these camps will be taking place? My kids were really looking forward to those!
I have so many unanswered questions that Marty can address as soon as his suspension is over. When will the Tigers retire Denny's number? Are they going to un-retire Sparky Anderson's number so that they can retire it again under one of your favorite players name? How many of your events will the Ilitch family be funding, in spite of your previous attacks on them? Will Marty be able to suppress his hatred of Muslims in order to get on the news while supporting a Muslim activist? Is Pete Lucido's office you set up on the floor of your parent's cottage up and running? I can't wait to hear about Marty's progress in all of these areas, including his surveillance of the evil Flemshady.
I'll close this brief report now because I'll be working all weekend preparing for the dump truck full of Mongoose droppings that will be spread over Facebook starting on Monday. I'm sure Marty will be in classic Mongoose lying form.
Brace yourselves, CoMmies, the Bullshit Tsunami is heading our way!
*** No disrespect intended to the actually developmentally disabled.
