Marty Prehn's Triumphant Return

Attention citizens of Saint Clair Shores: You're no longer wandering aimlessly without leadership. 

Marty Prehn was able to return all the way from Berkley in time to speak at the August 18th city council meeting. You can again rest easy knowing the greatest man to ever squat in someone's apartment located within your city has finally returned.

Marty made his usual trip to city hall to "say a few words" during the public comment portion of the city council meeting - a couple of minutes reserved for taxpayers to complain about timely garbage collection and such. Apparently he could sense the relief felt throughout the chambers as he stepped to the podium. He began his address of the council by stating "It was good to be back." Expounding on his 20 minute trip, he goes on: "I want to bring to your attention that I've been tied up in the city of Berkley working with an issue dealing with deed restrictions."  As the council members sat there with that collective gaze of befuddlement, Marty then proceeds to let them know that the Michigan legislature will be addressing the laws concerning deed restrictions and city zoning. He assures them this will happen by stating: "I've asked the legislature to look at the issue...". 

We're not certain exactly what "the issue" is. A small city had a beef with a restaurant expanding their parking lot and it was resolved amicably. But past experience tells us that if Marty asked them to look at an issue, they dropped everything and immediately started debating what could be done to please the Mongoose. The people of Michigan, nay the entire country, should be honored that they have the greatness of Martin Erwin Prehn to keep their elected officials on the right track.

Marty then moves on to what I can only guess will be his next fundraising scam. He informs the council that the class of '74 at Lakeview High had a class song: Evergreen by Barbara Streisand. While at the reunion picnic, Marty noticed there wasn't an evergreen tree anywhere in the park. He must have had plenty of alone time to survey what type of trees the park had. This got Marty's Mongoose donation senses twitching. He asks the council for permission to plant an evergreen tree in the park to honor all of the people from the class of '74 who have passed away. This tree will be paid for by, you guessed it, donations. I can't wait to see who heads up this project and collects the donations. That has "buy Marty pizza and beer" written all over it.

Marty closes out his official address to the city by bringing up the suicide of Robin Williams. This is the lead in to the next great event to be coordinated by MTM productions. On Sept 21st there will be a walk for suicide prevention. People will have the incredible opportunity to donate and walk 3 or 5 miles, we're not sure which, with the legendary Elder Dawg himself, huffing and puffing down Jefferson Avenue.  But this is only the culmination of the weekend extravaganza. Marty announced he's planning "additional activities" for the 19th and 20th. There is no mention of what these activities might be but that's not important. You know if Marty is the driving force behind it, it'll be something spectacular with Hollywood stars and national media coverage. Perhaps Babs Streisand herself will be performing. Why the hell not?

Marty also lets the council know, he's working with all the businesses along Nautical Mile to get this tribute to Robin Williams rolling. "Fat guy waddling around bothering stores, restaurants and marinas with his insane idea? Unanimously approved." Why does Marty need to address the council about this great event you ask? He wants their permission to change the Nautical Mile name to Nautical Smile for the weekend in honor of the late comedian. Another brilliant catchy name created by Marty just for this event. Be sure you mark your calendar now, you won't want to miss it.

This pattern should sound very familiar to readers. Marty will embrace and act passionate about whatever topic is hot. Returning army veterans, elderly couple abused in a hotel, beloved comedian's death - it's all good as long as it gets him attention and hopefully donations.  Does anyone recall him ever presenting a check to any cause?

It appears Marty has been busy and will remain that way for the next month. Between fundraising for a tree and organizing his "Nautical Smile" tribute, not to mention those 10 hours a week he pretends to work while stalking people, Marty's days will be booked solid. How will he ever find the time to spew hatred and threats on Facebook while keeping Linda both happy and in the dark about this blog?