Marty Prehn's Rites of Summer

Great news, CoMmies - Michigan's own personal pilonidal cyst is at it again!

With the un-official start of summer last weekend, everyone here knew it was now the prime time for Marty to start up all of his great imaginary summer events. Every time the temperature breaks 60°, the Mongoose announces his yearly "I Need A Hero" (aka; Mongoosepalooza) fake event. There are typically other sideshows also announced, but that is usually the anchor event.

With Marty's newly formed MVP Productions, it was only a matter of time until the scams would start. While on his visit to heaven this week, Marty promised to set off more of his incredible "fireworks" this past Thursday. His original claim stated the fireworks would be RICO related. After this latest Elder D.A.W.G. threat was laughed at, I can only guess Marty had to alter his course. Based on the following comment, it appears Marty has returned to his money scamming roots. Here is the latest complete idiocy from the world's biggest liar:

"Marty Prehn

August 15. 2015 is Detroit Tigers retirement day up at Houghton Lake for number 17 Cy Young Award Winner and 2 time MVP Denny McLain and number 11 and 11 time gold glove award winning catcher Bill Freehan and 1968 MLB World Series Champions. And then on May 18, 2016 I NEED A HERO / LET FREEDOM RING BIKE RALLY for the remaining members of the L 10 POW's that are incarcerated at Fort Leavenworth as war criminals and Welcome Home to those that have been SET FREE and the birthday party that was promised to one of my boys and HEROES Michael Behenna. He won his freedom on March 14, 2014 and a black tie dinner with

no fewer than 50 of people that I consider to also be my HEROES and they will each have there own tables and people can buy tickets via MVP Productions for 50.00 apiece and all 3 events will be sponsored by one of the American car companies and be nationally televised by a 3 letter tv network. More details to follow but I am not allowed to drop any names as this upsets my cyber stalkers Flem Shady n RHW."

And there it is, CoMmies, the first great Mongoose lie of the season! As is our signature style, allow your humble correspondent to break this utter lunacy down into a few parts in order to highlight Marty's stupidity:

"August 15. 2015 is Detroit Tigers retirement day up at Houghton Lake for number 17 Cy Young Award Winner and 2 time MVP Denny McLain and number 11 and 11 time gold glove award winning catcher Bill Freehan and 1968 MLB World Series Champions"

So Marty is throwing a retirement party for the 1968 Detroit Tigers with an emphasis on these two players. How long have they been retired now? Was Marty on a deep undercover CIA assignment when they originally retired? And is this great party being held at the lake cottage Marty inherited from his parents? The same cottage that hasn't been occupied or even had utilities for several years? I'm sure that would be a great location for a huge party for ex professional (some wheelchair bound) athletes. Will this party include Marty's claims he's having the Tigers retire these players numbers? The number retirement claim just highlights how out of touch with reality Marty really is. Denny was disgraced when he was arrested and convicted. And it's a little late for Marty to retire #11. The Tigers retired that number several years ago, but not in honor of Marty's hero:

Catch up Marty, you're way behind again, you huge idiot. And you and Denny sitting at a card table on the front lawn of your parent's cottage doesn't qualify as a Detroit Tiger's retirement party. 

The next part of this latest lie is so Martyesque©. He's once again rolling out his "I Need A Hero" event. This time, he's announcing it almost a year in advance - and selling tickets! Could that be because he's attaching his name to the front of a real event and he already missed it this year? The Mongoose has once again run out of scams so he is recycling one of his old ones. We're now back to the Leavenworth 10 Marty? Find a new scam already, you lazy, worthless moron.

It appears Mongoosepalooza has now become a black tie affair to honor whatever "heros" Marty can dream up. He says there will be 50 present, each with their own table. Unfortunately, Marty won't say who any of them are because he's afraid that if he does, Flemshady and Robin will be upset. It's good to see Marty is finally attempting to keep those two happy. I do wonder if Marty is planning on inviting Bill Windsor to sit at one of the hero tables. That's if Bill is out of prison by then, of course. Based on Marty's past hero worship, this event should be attended by more parole officers than anyone else.

This black tie affair is also supposed to include a birthday party Marty promised Michael Behenna awhile ago. If my memory serves, Marty made several promises regarding this man. Wasn't the Mongoose supposed to escort Michael back home when he was released? Didn't the Behenna family tell Marty to shut up and go away? Have they changed their minds about Marty and are now going to allow this birthday party? I'm sure we'll know soon enough, as our crack investigative reporters are on the case.

Of course, Marty also has to throw in his usual lies about an event he dreamed up while sitting on the couch in the dump he shares with Jr. This event is being sponsored by an American car company and being broadcast by a "three letter national broadcast co". I have to assume he didn't say which ones because he's still trying to keep the "cyber stalkers" happy. Either that, or he is trying to avoid the cease and desist that would be sure to follow if he actual included the names in his lie. I will make Marty this promise: If he has a sponsored event, and it's broadcast on national television, I'll fly to Detroit and kiss his entire ass on TV. Based on the size of Marty's ass, the time it would take me to cover the entire thing would fill the entire broadcast - with no commercial breaks for the car ads!

I've saved my favorite part of this lie for last:

"people can buy tickets via MVP Productions for 50.00 apiece"

This comment is hilarious in so many ways. First, people are asked to buy a $50 ticket that include events that are almost a year apart. Having Denny hanging out at a lake cottage this August might be doable for Marty, then he has 10 months to give the various excuses to "cancel" the other two events. No refunds, of course. Take it up with PayPal, suckers! Second, where is the big black tie event being held so I can confirm its actually scheduled before I send MVP my money? And, when Marty announced MVP Productions, he announced that it was not only incorporated, but as an LLC, presumably to protect the shareholders of McClain, Jamie Victory and Marty from liabilities and other claims. That makes it a for profit enterprise, not Marty's usual charity claim. Accordingly, all income must be reported for tax purposes. I hope Marty has all the business filings in order for this company because I'm sure his attempted ticket sales will be reported to various business regulatory agencies in Michigan. Oh, that's right. He's tight with the Attorney General and Secretary of State...

I'll close this article with a brief thought. Anyone wishing to buy tickets to Marty's latest extravaganza should contact Denny McClain instead of the Mongoose. I'm sure Denny's lawyer would know more about the legal issues that will arise from his client being a named participant in this for profit business venture with his partners Prehn and Victory. People might want to also contact Michael Behenna's mother to see how she feels about the idiot in Michigan selling tickets to her son's birthday party. Maybe she'll ask Marty where the American car company and national broadcast money went as well. Like I said, just a thought.

Editorial change:

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Hold the presses!  Last minute Mongoosapalooza update!

"Marty Prehn shared Denny McLain's post.

57 mins · 

Please remember my friend and soon to be Hall of Famer Denny McLain. He had a very serious truck crash and trailer accident yesterday. He broke his left leg and foot in several places and is in a lot of pain. Get well cards can be sent to my post office box and I will see to it that he gets them. Time will tell if he will be well enough for a trip to the Houghton Lake / Prudenville area the weekend of Aug 15th for a special ceremony that will honor the dynamic duo of number 17 Pitcher Denny McLain and number 11 Catcher Bill Freehan both who played on the Detroit Tigers 1968 World Series Championship team. Several other Detroit Tigers from the 68 and 84 World Championship teams are also expected to attend this MVP Production event. My PO Box is DENNY McLAIN c/o Marty Prehn PO Box 80732 St. Clair Shores, MI 48080.

Denny McLain

12 hrs · 

Man I had a bad day................ I broke ,my foot today-4 or 5 places today and its a truck crash, the injured area on my leg, foot and toes looks like the map of Italy"

So, don't use ink when you add the August 15th event to your calendar. Things move quickly in the fast paced imaginary world that Marty has created. Even Marty didn't realize that August might not happen until he checked Denny's Facebook page 11 hours later. Close friends and business partners are always the last to know. But rumour has it that Jamie Victory was mentioning Denny's bum leg at Kroger a full day before Marty found out? Go figure.

But feel free to include cash gifts in those Denny get well cards. Marty will make sure he gets that, too!

See everyone in August and next May! Or not...