"It's Coming, Boy..."

Patience. We're eating dinner and swapping stories with the locals...

JT

8:15 PM Update:

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

"How does he do that?"

Looking at that chair, Marty could be looking at a FELONY charge of his own for destruction of public property...

jt

Life's Special Sauce from the Special Agent

Great news, CoMmies!

You too can live a bountiful and spiritually fulfilling life, just like the Mongoose!

Welcome back everyone. As I'm sure anyone who reads here knows, our guilty pleasure is making fun of the idiot known as the Mongoose, aka Martin E. Prehn. While taking a quick glance at the many recent worthless Facebook posts by Marty, I noticed one that made me chuckle a little more than the others. This was posted by Marty just a few days ago:

I couldn't help but think it would be rather entertaining to examine this list and compare it to Marty's real life. As pathetic as the loser Elder Avenger is, there's no way Marty could follow this "Simple Formula for Living".

1. Live beneath your means:

Let's face it, an abandoned resale shop on Gratiot in Roseville is pretty, umm, humbling. Perhaps he should turn his back on this glamorous lifestyle, trading in the Mongoosemobile for a shopping cart and live under a bridge at Gratiot and Rosemary in Detroit. Nah, even the ghetto has it's standards.

2. Return everything you borrow:

Does this include stolen change for gas money or donations received under false pretenses? How about ticket sale funds for fake events? Money from accounts? Slim Jims?

3. Stop blaming other people:

Like blaming your siblings for getting foreclosed on every mortgage you were paying with your parents life savings?

4. Admit when you make mistakes: 

Or just claim you were hacked and someone else made the comment. Phone calls in the middle of the night? Must be an AT&T employee cloned your phone again.

5. Give clothes not worn to charity:

Oh, please. Your average street hobo has newer and certainly cleaner clothes. Don't insult them.

6. Do something nice and try not to get caught:

Or try not to get caught with collection jars that you claim go to charity, but really just finance your beer and pizza.

7. Listen more; talk less:

Really?

8. Every day take a 30 min walk:

If Marty could find a parade or demonstration march with press coverage every day, no problem. Otherwise.....

9. Strive for excellence not perfection:

Just take credit for other's excellence. Next!

10. Be on time, don't make excuses:

The lunch buffet ends at 2:00. I promise you, Marty will be on time. 

11. Don't argue, get organized:

Look at the pictures of his room, he'll never be organized. He's not smart enough to argue with anyone over 7 years old.

12. Be kind to unkind people:

Or, refer to them all as "my cyberstalker from Madison Heights" and threaten them with government investigations, imaginary signed verbal court orders, and federal prison sentences.

13. Let someone cut ahead of you in line:

"Hell no. The obituary said there's a buffet and the family should be mingling with the other mourners!"

14. Take time to be alone:

Naked. With paper towels and Jessica's Facebook page.

15. Cultivate good manners:

Better idea - cultivate some good hygiene.

16. Be Humble:

Even while you are appearing on Ellen, Jimmy Fallon, Dr Phil, Let it Rip, all three television networks simultaneously, or being live-streamed worldwide.

17. Realize and accept life isn't fair:

F.A.I.R.? Accept that you are a loser, idiot, nobody, worthless piece of shit and nobody is ever going to attend your birthday party at Comerica Park no matter how cheap the tickets are. 

18. Know when to keep your mouth shut:

Keep the flies in.

19. Go an entire day without criticizing someone:

Marty is far too bitter to ever be able to do that.

20. Learn from the past. Plan for the future:

If Marty hasn't learned by now that people just laugh at the same old threats he's been using for years, he never will. He plans for the future with every elected official he gets a picture with. "This will prove I'm somebody!" It doesn't and just gives us something to write about.

21. Live in the present:

Is a fantasy Facebook life considered the present?

22. Don't sweat the small stuff:

Based on recent pictures, Marty sweats buckets all the time. Doesn't matter the size of the stuff.

23. It's all small stuff:

I could make a penis joke, but I haven't seen it and doubt Marty has in years. Maybe I'll check with the hobos...

Farewell to a Friend...

Rest in peace, Bob.

John

Marty Prehn Gets Fed His Dirty Diaper!

CoMmies, Citizens of Fraser and Law Enforcement personnel throughout the Metro Detroit area (and a special shout-out to Charlie Langton and Simon Shaykhet), welcome back to the Internet's premier and most accurate source of information on the biggest loser on the planet, Marty "The Mongoose" Prehn.

Today is starting to bring back memories of what we here at CoM used to call FunFriday. You see, gentle readers, Marty had a habit of having meltdowns on Friday after he cashed his $80 paycheck at the liquor store and started drinking his Milwaukee's Best. Talk about your Mongoose on the Loose! Idiot.

I have high hopes of a classic Marty Meltdown as Erica Hammel revisits Marty's attempted hijack of her crusade to establish Wyatt's Law, tonight on Bourbon After Dark at 10:00 PM EST. 

For a primer, watch how it went down at the SCS City Council meeting a few years back. Oh, the memories... Good times.

In preparation for Marty's latest exposure as a worthless piece of shit, I encourage everyone to read this past article (red link below) for a little background. 

Be sure to read the comments because they are full of Marty quotes and a few hilarious observations, including from the Wife of the Legendary Doc Chism! Maybe even a Mongoose dropping here and there. 

At the end of the day, Marty was essentially banned from showing his fat, greasy face at any SCS City Council meeting. "Hello, Fraser!"

Enjoy!

Marty Prehn's Waterloo!

Parting laugh: Sarcasm and satire apparently isn't entirely wasted on Marty. Then again, he is pretty delusional...

Oh, that Mongoose.

"Piece of Shit!"

Gotta love those folks in the Hamlet!

Marty's Latest Sinkhole is Revolting! (pun intended)

Image Courtesy of F.A.I.R. ©

Welcome back both old and new CoMmies!

It's an exciting time here at CoM as Marty continues to make an ass out of himself on an hourly basis in Fraser. Even after four years I'm still amazed at just how stupid Marty Prehn really is. I've really come to appreciate Elder Dawg's own little catch phrase: "MARTY WOW". Unfortunately for Marty, his own saying does a wonderful job of summarizing his complete idiocy. Marty Wow, indeed!

As the "Fracas in Fraser" really starts to heat up, it's becoming more and more unpleasant for a fat imbecile to wake up in Roseville every morning with the name Marty Prehn. The Fraser sinkhole is tiny in comparison to the hole Marty is digging for himself. The Special Ed Agent just keeps exposing himself as the idiot, fraud, and morally corrupt loser we've come to love here at CoM. The Mongoose loves to say we are liars or we defame, slander, and intimidate him on this site but, damn Marty, who could seriously make this crap up? Other than maybe you of course.

As a literal dump truck load of skeletons are uncovered in all the closets of the Boarding House of the Stars, Marty still can't make himself shut up and go away. I guess the lure of free food is so strong for him, no amount of embarrassment can suppress his superhero appetite. I guess there is no mental price too high to pay for free pasta and unlimited bread sticks at Olive Garden or a burger at the Ram's Horn. Marty, for all of the shame this is bringing you, I sure hope that burger came with cheese ($.50 extra for the idiots who bought it for you).

Now it appears that The People's Mayor has arraigned for the next proverbial kick to the sweaty groin of the Mongoose. Thomas LaDuke has invited a previous Marty scam target to appear on his wildly popular and entertaining show, Bourbon on the Rocks. Not only did Erica Hammel agree to be on the program, she immediately began to expose Marty the liar on the F.A.I.R. Facebook page. The screen shots of Marty's lie filled messages to Erica where absolutely priceless!  You just can't buy a ticket to entertainment like this.

The Fracas in Fraser has now spun out of control for Marty and it's really just getting started. Can the promise of dinner at the Green Lantern keep Elder Avenger coming back for more? The short answer is yes. Honestly, Marty would endure the embarrassment he's getting for a can of Vienna sausage's and a box of Twinkies.

The Seduction

His life really couldn't get much worse and he's really that hungry. Marty has no shame, conscious, morals or any other trait that might make him think twice about what he does. The world hates Marty and he hates it right back so he might as well get some free food in the deal.

I may just be selfish but, I really look forward to the days ahead because I know Marty will continue to supply us with entertainment. Let's all hope the Fosters keep feeding this idiot because it really does bring out his best stupidity. While the fun continues we would love to hear from everyone who's watching. Marty reads here all day long so feel free to leave him a comment. That's where the real fun is!

Love and kisses,

Johnny

"It's Coming, Boy!"

And you thought that fat bastard was sweating last week...

Stay tuned, CoMmies. Gonna be epic and of Mongoose proportions!

Point of Order: Shup Up, Dumbass!

Good times are here again CoMmies! The quantity of Marty "The Mongoose" Prehn stupidity always seems to peak when that idiot finds a city council meeting to look foolish in front of. Marty is at his idiotic pinnacle when he has a microphone and a captive audience at his disposal. The topic at hand is never important to Marty, it's all about the chance to further his own agenda. Thankfully, the Fraser city council managed to force the Mongoose to stay on topic last night which means, Marty was left with nothing to say.

After Monday's special meeting of the Fraser council, where Marty once again managed to inject his fat head where it didn't belong, I might have been just a little judgmental about the citizens of Fraser. I felt that maybe enough hadn't been done to shut up the worlds biggest idiot. Well, things sure did change at last nights meeting!

Marty arrived at the council meeting so ready to lie, slander, and generally spew complete stupidity, he felt the need to bring a lawyer with him. Although, in my humble opinion and belief, no lawyer that has Marty Prehn and Denny McLain as his top clients should be attempting to practice law anywhere other than traffic court. Hey Barry, did you and Denny get that $7,000 bill for the legal fees of your last target paid yet? But, I digress. Marty was ready to follow the script written for him by various unnamed individuals from Fraser who obviously didn't realize what a moronic loser they were paying to do their dirty work. These people should have known that anyone willing to be their stooge just for the cost of a couple of late night dinners isn't a highly qualified Special Agent. You get what you pay for I guess.

Anyway, as Marty finally was able to take a seat in front of the microphone and begin his latest verbal assault on someone, he was suddenly interrupted by the words "point of order" being called out by a council member. That did not bode well for the imbecile because all of Marty's talking points were way off of the topic of the meeting. Even the cries of Marty's ambulance chaser were cut off by the Fraser city attorney. Marty's own puppet master, Joe Nichols, was even forced to agree with the city attorney and Marty wasn't allowed to veer off the only subject he was legally allowed to speak about. Of course, this left Marty with nothing to say and his public comments ended quickly. Something tells me there was no celebratory dining at the Ram's Horn last night but, the odds there were two burger kings at the White Castle instead are quite high.

Where the Fraser council found a muzzle big enough to fit over Marty's mouth and huge second chin I'll never know but, I don't really care. It worked to perfection. Then it was time for the fun to begin. Using a tactic from the Mongoose extermination guide, the citizens of Fraser began their assault on the repugnant rodent. Several people decided to speak about Marty and point out he really has no business trying to involve himself in the politics of a city he has no interest in. One woman was also nice enough to point out that Marty is a stalker who was seen photographing license plates in the parking lot during the meeting. It's quite telling there was no "point of order" calls while these people were speaking. Funny how that works, huh Marty.

Now that I've rambled on like a Mongoose with cable public access at his disposal, I need to wrap this report up. In closing I need to give KUDOS and credit to the great citizens of Fraser for shutting the Mongoose (and his lawyer) down. It was obvious the sane majority of the Fraser city council had been educated on how to shut Marty up. It's was even better to see people stand up and expose Marty for what he really is. It's also becoming clear that "The People's Mayor" has a few qualified operatives working with him as well. I'm starting to think Mr. LaDuke is a closet CoMmie. There were even a couple of Special Agents in the audience last night. Those hats make them just as much an agent as Marty is!

In closing, once again I commend the people of Fraser. We here at CoM called you out and you responded in force. Great job! The war is not over yet but the end is getting closer.

 DBD!

PS: Forget about Ram's Horn after the meeting. Stick to the credo!

Like a Whore in the Church to the Stars!

The time-lapse is Priceless!

Starts the evening just mildly offensive:

And then it's all downhill...

It's Coming, Boy!

And you Fraser people think that a little sewage water in your basements smells bad. Count your blessings.