Miscellaneous Mongoose Musings - and a Close Encounter of the Idiot Kind

Welcome back loyal readers. Thanks for once again tuning in for the latest update on the biggest idiot I've ever witnessed. Marty, as usual, has come through with more stupidity for our entertainment. Actually, it seems that's the only thing the Mongoose is capable of delivering - except, of course, brake pads, wiper blades, etc. With an unending stream of idiocy for us to laugh at on a regular basis, today I'll cover some random stupidity supplied by Elder Hawg.

I'll start by first covering Marty's latest attempt to somehow get his unbelievably large head - complete with more Chins than a Chineese phonebook - on television. As we've learned by watching Marty, nothing is off limits when it comes to his desperation to appear on TV. Any cause will be exploited, any lie will be told and any sucker dumb enough to let themselves be associated with Marty will be used. Once again, it's Denny McLain who Marty thinks will be his ticket to a TV appearance. The following link is to a press release issued by Denny's lawyer:

http://www.scribd.com/mobile/doc/273641511/McLain-Press-Release-08-15-15

According to this release, Denny has not only been unable to walk, but couldn't appear in court because he was incapacitated mentally from the medication he's forced to take to deal with the intense pain. We at the Chronicles wish him a speedy recovery. However, these little details couldn't possibly prevent Marty from trying to catch a ride to a TV appearance on Denny's coat tails. We saw this comment from the Mongoose this past weekend:

"Marty Prehn

Malik please have Steve Hood give me a call so we can set up a tv time with Denny McLain."

There you have it CoMmies, another great example of how moronic Marty is. Denny was unable to appear in court because of the various side effects resulting from his accident, yet Marty is still trying to schedule a TV appearance for Denny that would also include HIMSELF! Injuries be damned, Denny, Marty needs some camera love!

Another interesting part of that press release; it gives Denny's lawyer's name and number as the person to contact if you want to interview his client. I've looked that release over many times now, and I can't find Marty's (that's P-R-E-H-N for members of the media) name anywhere. If Minister Malik Shabazz wants Denny on his TV show, why would he need to contact Marty or include him in the interview in any way? This is just a lame attempt by Marty to use someone else as a way to get himself media coverage of any kind. Sound familiar, Erica and Wyatt?

Sticking with the theme of why people should never associate with Martin E Prehn, we'll move to our next example that proves this fact. Most readers here are very familiar with one of Marty's cronies, Helen Childers. Not only did she supply financing for the idiot Mongoose, she became his go to "sleuth". Not to mention her enjoying his infatuation with a few of her enhanced body parts. She attempted to pose as a friend to many people in order to get info Marty could then use in his attacks on them. A few days ago, we saw this little nugget from Marty:

"Marty Prehn
Bill Windsor please add the name of Helen Childers to your list of a anonymous contributors. She is from Hawaii. Maui I believe."

Based on this comment, I'm betting Hula Helen is about to experience the karma that is attached to being Marty's stooge. I can't help but wonder what happened to create the now obvious problems in their great friendship. Did Helen kill Marty's access to her credit card? Did she finally stop sending Marty sexy photos that highlighted her "assets"? Did sexting with Marty get boring? Things that make you say "hmmm?"

Moving on, I'll touch on one more ongoing problem with the Mongoose. Marty has become so delusional with his fantasy life on Facebook, it destroys him when real life suddenly hits him in the face. It seems that when any negative spillover from his Facebook life appears, it shakes and stirs Marty to the core. Here is another Mongoose dropping we read over the past weekend:

"Marty Prehn

Time to file a complaint against one of PRIMO'S goons. Today between 4:40 pm and 4:45 pm while I was at work a scarecrow by the name of Dave Wilson trespasses onto private property in Eastpointe while on his piece of crap motorcycle and confronted me and started to make verbal threats against me to leave Guy Moceri alone or this alcoholic scarecrow was going to beat me the FUCK up. As usual this painter and bump guy who can't hold down a job was either drunk or higher than a kite. He may weigh at the most 130 lbs and wears dentures and has a police record. He is operating an illegal business out of his garage and has a really big mouth for a scarecrow. The owner of the property was informed of the confrontation and,was tokd by me that I would be filing a police report and complaint against this idiot. If he is not already on probation he will be. I ignored his verbal threats against me and went inside. He won't be as lucky the next time. Mr. ALCOHOLIC TOUGH GUY. Remember his name it it Dave "the drunk" Wilson and he lives on Eleanor street in Warren. He can't hold his mouth and sure as he'll can't hold a job. A b oozer and a loser."

I have to admit, this is my favorite part of this article. Marty just doesn't seem to realize that the people he regularly attacks on Facebook are real life people with actual friends. Not Marty's "good friends" he's never actually met. This is the part of his delusional life he just doesn't understand. A real friend will defend their friends, a concept that's foreign to Marty because he has no real friends. Real life is so confusing for the Mongoose. Abnormal psychology at its zenith!

Marty reacts to this attack with his standard tactics. First he has to use his childlike mental capacity to attack the person's appearance. He refers to Mr Wilson as a scarecrow. Sorry Marty, any normal size person will appear skinny next to your bloated, oversized tub of lard body. Marty also claims he "ignored his verbal threats and went inside". I take that to mean Marty wet himself while waddling away trying to avoid getting his estimated 400 lb ass kicked by a scarecrow. If you were just "ignoring" him, Marty, why run inside - only to insult him on Facebook, tough guy? Say it to his face, you puss! 

Marty also can't make it through any Facebook threat without claiming he's filing something with the police. Can't you just hear Marty out of breath, calling the police. "Yes officer, a man one quarter my size made me pee myself in the parking lot. Arrest him before he comes back, I'm out of underwear and Linda won't buy me more!"

I'll close the article with a few question for Marty:

Are you going to drag Denny to the cottage August 15th for your big Detroit Tiger's retirement party? If you can get him to a TV studio to get you on the air, why not to the cottage with members of two World Series teams for an event MVP Productions sold tickets for? 

Did you manage to save all the pictures of Helen's breasts that you saved on your flip phone for those private bathroom moments? I sure hope so because, after Windsor sues her, I doubt she'll send any more. 

And my most important question for you Marty: Which of your Facebook friends is going to help defend you when someone shows up to kick your ass for attacking someone they care about or they are loyal to? I think you'd better renew that Depends© endorsement  deal you once claimed you had. You're going to need the free samples!

See you soon Marty, maybe I'll come with Dave!

Marty Prehn Goes on Advocate Hiatus

Dear readers, paid subscribers and corporate sponsors;

As we wait for the next quart of bile to stream out of Marty's mouth, I can't help but wonder what the Mongoose has been up to lately. Is Marty spending his every waking hour preparing for his big court showdown with Flemshady? Has he been tied up researching his next advocacy cause to hijack? Maybe writing more letters on the behalf of others to claim Flemshady is stalking him at places he doesn't live? Or, is he now unable to get off of Linda's couch in his weakened condition while he waits for Jr to raise the money for his heart transplant? Right idea, Jr, but aim for a full brain transplant. I'll bet even his own family and classmates would rally behind that cause.

In reality, Marty has taken his Mongoose laziness to a new level. I would have thought the hype machine would be going full speed ahead for his upcoming Protection Order defense. We all know Marty could never step into a courtroom without a press conference with the national media in attendance. And, of course, he could never be a defendant without predicting fireworks and upcoming courtroom arrests, complete with cuffs being slapped on, for numerous people who aren't involved and won't even be there. I'll admit, I'm a little disappointed in Perry Mason-Prehn's lack of threats and lies. Has Marty finally reached the point were it's now too much work to tell his usual lies? It's almost as if his creativity dried up, like so many discarded tissues found near his bottle of hand lotion last year.

Another sign that Marty has become even more worthless than he already was, he hasn't tried to become an advocate for any new hot media topics. Surely his alleged pilot's license makes him an expert and gives reason to exploit the families of the recent airliner tragedy in France. Is Marty now too lazy to perform his "good works" from the couch or toilet at Linda's? How long has it been since Elder Dawg worked behind the scenes to bring great change to society? There has to be a petition somewhere he needs to sign and take credit for. Is there not a victim somewhere that needs Marty as a guardian angel, despite the fact they have never met him or even heard of him? Maybe if Marty sent Jamie Cook more pictures of himself to put on the front page of the Macomb Daily, that Dr Chism follow up article will finally get written. Come on, Marty. Think out of the box!

Could all of this inactivity actually be a sign of real trouble for the Mongoose? Has his alleged heart condition become so bad, it takes every ounce of energy Marty has just to waddle out to the Mongoosemobile and go on a McRun a couple of times a day? Could Jr actually have been honest about his love and concern for his father and best friend needing a heart transplant? In the now famous words of our old friend Bob Cookout, Marty is so full of shit you could unscrew the top of his head and dip it out with a spoon! The only reason for Marty's latest inactivity is nothing more than laziness and lack of motivation. He's even become so worthless, others have to attack his enemies for him. Hi, Carla!

I'm only left to wonder this: Has Marty finally just decided it's no longer worth the effort to be an idiotic ass? Is being a complete idiot now just too much work for the Mongoose? Has Marty gotten so fat that he can no longer lift his arms long enough to post a few threats, hateful comments, and outright lies? Or has Marty just been beaten into submission? Stay tuned to find out and thank you for having more interest in Marty Prehn than everyone he's ever met in his pathetic, miserable life.

Love and kisses,

Tut

Marty Prehn Tamped Down Again

It's been a fortnight since we've seen Marty on the TV and I, your humble correspondent, have mixed emotions.

The common good has been served well by both Facebook and the city of Saint Clair Shores effectively telling Marty to STFU.  However, my 30 day performance review is coming up next week. I hope our board of directors and you readers at least give me some credit for his recent state of tamped down.

As the great Elder Avenger has now been scared away from "Open Mic Night in the Shores" we are left to speculate about what has happened to Marty and what will come next. Has an attention - but certainly not food - starved woman finally made Marty's life so carefree that his scams are no longer necessary? Has desperate Linda's belief in his greatness finally pacified Marty's insane craving for attention? Has Marty finally gotten so lazy it's now become too much work to prop himself up off the couch and do anything?

What should we make of Marty's absence at the most recent Saint Clair Shores city council meeting? This bi-monthly public forum was always Marty's bread and butter. He could wax rhapsodic about his all around greatness, introduce his next scams, tell whatever lies he thought up and feed his addictive need to appear on TV - even if only Public Access. After a tiny housewife with no experience in public speaking made a complete fool out of him at the last meeting, it was expected Marty would be back with a vengeance. Instead, he was a no show. No recap of Nautical Smiles or his great Robin WiWeekend, aka Operation Patch Adams. No updates on the next suicide walk he would be attempting to high jack. Not even an update on the location of his Lakeview High reunion dinner, featuring Dave Coulier. Did Marty's cowardly instincts take over and make him flee when he arrived at city hall and saw Robin's all-too-familiar car in the parking lot? It's safe to say a Robin has caught the worm we know as Marty, promptly spiting him out and kicking him across the council chambers.

On a side note, I have to admit my great disappointment that Marty didn't show. I was looking forward to seeing Marty's latest Homeless Chic© fashion statement.

I'm starting to believe Marty's life of luxury at Linda's is really starting to effect his greatness. Now that he has a free place to stay, a steady source to scam gas money from and only one brute to arm wrestle for fruit cups, his donation needs aren't as great. "Screw all those 'target rich' events to photobomb and eat free food at. Who's on Ellen?" It might just explain the spike in her daytime ratings lately.

Based on Marty's past, after reading this article he will soon be supplying us with his excuses for his absence - perhaps a new FBI/CIA/DOJ stakeout. Is he currently trying to hide behind a palm tree in the Virgin Islands on assignment for the USPS, filming RC3 masturbating with a stuffed alpaca while in a drunken stupor? Are there more code violations on 10 Mile that Marty is busy flying a "quad copter" over while downloading the video to Linda's iPhone 4? Maybe there is a new restaurant in the Detroit area that Marty is putting out of business because of inadequate parking. Perhaps he's preparing for the tearful reunion with Jr as he transitions back into society and the billion dollar lawsuit that is certain to be mindlessly threatened. With the man of many hats (at least two that we know of) the list of possible excuses is endless.

I'm not worried. My review will go fine.  I have complete faith in his narcissistic stupidity and he'll be back before you can say "Marty who?"