Happy Memorial Day Weekend to all of our loyal readers. As we honor the brave souls who made the decision to serve our country, unlike the cowardly Mongoose, we thought we would bring you the latest update on the dumbest human to ever pose as a veteran: Marty Prehn.
As I'm sure everyone here knows, great resources go into seeking the latest information on the very public figure, Elder D.A.W.G. Now that that RC3 is gone and half of our budget doesn't end up in G-strings or spent on alcohol, we've added a new weapon in our battle to save Michigan from the disease we call the Mongoose. I felt that if Marty was going to use a drone to gather information on Saint Clair Shores residents, it must be a great investigative tool. A drone would allow us to search the area for signs that the Mongoose had been on the prowl. A drone was purchased with the optional ammonia (piss) detection sensor to try to sniff out Marty. It worked better than planned.
It didn't take long for this new investment to pay off. It appears the latest dump, I mean Mongoose Lair, has been located. Marty likes to believe that he's a master of deception by telling the SCS council that he lives in Eastpointe, but the truth is that he's just a liar who squats his fat ass in Roseville, probably with Jr.
After our drone zeroed in on the incredible odor coming from this location, an operative was sent to confirm the presence of the Mongoose. Look what was found parked in the driveway.
I would speculate about how or why Marty ended up as Jr's roommate but the possibilities are endless. Did Linda finally figure out Marty was a worthless liar? Did the apartment management get tired of the complaints about the smell coming from Linda's apartment? Did Linda discover all the sexting Marty was doing with Carla? Did the debt load that occurs when trying to feed Marty finally become more than Linda could take? Did Marty eat the last Twinkie? We might never know the answers to these important questions, but we do know that Roseville's loss is Saint Clair Shores gain! Eastpointe seems to have been spared. For now....
From the appearance of this latest Lair, MVP Productions better hurry up and start organizing fundraisers. I can't imagine Jr will be able to tolerate being in such tight quarters with his "best friend", daddy Marty. After Jr kicks him out, maybe Marty can move in with one of his new business associates, Jamie or Denny. That could really help get their new production company off the ground.
Who are we kidding? Denny has already lived with con men in the joint and Jamie, well, he's probably way too intelligent to live with the likes of Marty...
