Marty Makes An Ass Of Himself, Again

The world's biggest idiot just can't stop himself!

Fraser Prepares for a Mongoose Infestation!

A hearty CoM welcome to all of our new readers!

As the foremost authority on all things Marty,  it's somewhat humbling to see so many people taking an interest in this blundering idiot.  I'm willing to bet that you've never encountered another rodent anywhere near as moronic or nasty as this one. Today I'll do my best to point out the known tactics of this nuisance and how to best rid yourself of a Mongoose Infestation. Trust me, you don't want one in your town. Kinda like pubic lice, but without the glitz and glamour!  

And you people thought that the sinkhole was the worst that could happen. Tsk tsk...

I've seen many residents of Fraser asking how they were unfortunate enough to suffer a Mongoose infestation. There's a simple explanation for the arrival of this disgusting and odoriferous vermin. It's naturally drawn to television news crews or reporters. I'm sure everyone noticed Marty standing in the background while people were being interviewed for the local nightly news. That's the burning instinct of the Mongoose. Make sure you're in camera view at all cost! The lure of the news crew is so strong on the Mongoose, he once chased a news van all over Metro Detroit after a storm so he could be interviewed as a storm damage expert, calling every station to try to give an on-air report! No one answered and he went back home to his hotplate and Dinty Moore. Hell, that's how this asshole found you in the first place. Having no family or friends to celebrate Christmas Eve with, the loser went sewer hopping in hopes of being on the news! 

There are several sure signs your town has become a nesting area for the Mongoose. Speaking in front of your city council talking more about his own delusions of self importance than the issue he's supposedly interested in. Hanging around as close to news crews as possible. Spewing baseless crap about people involved in the issue that brought the media there in the first place. Claiming he's an expert on the subject even though it's obvious he's absolutely clueless on the subject. Dropping as many names of elected official and celebrities as possible while claiming to be "good friends" with them. And most importantly, taking credit for things he had absolutely nothing to do with. Here's a recent example:

Once you realize your city hall has been infested by this vile creature,

 the most important rule to remember is this: Never, under any circumstance, do you feed the Mongoose. I promise you, not only will he bite the hand that fed him, he'll include their children, distant relatives, friends, and employers.

I'm sure by now you're thinking: "Oh No! We're infested, now what do we do?" Fear not, my new friends in Fraser, hope is not lost. Even though your embattled mayor is providing plenty of food for this rodent, he can still be stamped out. Just like a cockroach in your kitchen, the Mongoose will flee when you turn the light on and expose him. And with Marty, there is plenty to expose. The truth about him is the brightest light of all. Marty has told so many lies that he can't possibly back up, picking them apart is child's play.

As an experience Mongoose Elimination Expert, I'll try to arm you with the tactics needed to run this rodent off. You must shine the light on  him at the place he's most strongly drawn to, televised city council meetings. Marty can't resist the urge to speak in front of cameras so this is where he's most vulnerable. You have to use stealth when getting ready to expose him. Marty will attempt to wait until he's going to be the last speaker so no one can follow him and point out his idiocy. So, be patient! Don't get in position to speak until after Marty has committed himself and gone to the podium before you. If he doesn't know who else might be speaking, he also can't make a preemptive strike before they get the chance.

Arm yourselves with the truth about this rodent. If he claims to be an elder advocate, point out his treatment of his mother. Also a good time to mention Florence Iverson - trust me. If he claims Reagan had the Berlin Wall torn down as a favor to Marty for his father, point out no U.S. official would go out of their way to appease a former Nazi soldier. If he calls for a "forensic audit", ask why when the probate court that was handling his mother's case asked him for financial records of where his parent's money went, he took a contempt of court charge instead of complying. 

When he claims to be an experienced, but non-specific 

"Special Agent" of some sort with a yet to be named three letter agency, ask him where he bought that ratty hat. "Good friends" with government officials? Ask what proof he has other than campaign rally photo bomb pictures posted on Facebook. Maybe ask Carey "Hot N Ready" Torrice about Marty claiming that "being her bodyguard was the best job he ever had", with the requisite sexual innuendo. Ask other city councils and mayors about the times he infested their city hall. Ask all of his "media friends" if he's the reason they are covering the news in your town. Better yet, ask Peter Lucido if Marty is helping him draft legislation in Michigan and why he allows Marty to post his crap on his Facebook page.

In order to save enough bandwidth for comments, I'll wrap this report up. In short, my Fraser friends, be aware of the Mongoose but don't be afraid. Marty can be very ferocious and there is no depth he won't sink to, as he knows no shame. But there is no need to fear him. His below average intelligence, along with his constant grandiose delusions about himself, makes it easy to expose him as the worthless, powerless loser he really is. Educate yourselves and you'll have no problems pointing out what a lying ass he really is. Actually, most of the time, he points it out himself. Read just about any random page of this blog - it's Mongoose Kryptonite!

"Now the healing needs to begin."

God speed.

Tuttle

PS: Be sure to stop by the CoM booth at this weekend's fair and browse our gift shop, featuring CoM T-shirts and Mongoose Signature Collection© Lunchboxes!

Mongoose on the Loose in Fraser!

Greetings to all of our new readers from Fraser, Michigan, the latest city to have a rodent infestation!

Saint Clair Shores - √
Eastpointe - √
Berkley - √
Roseville - √
Fraser - Welcome!

We haven't had so many new readers since people actually lined up at the podium to complain about Marty Prehn at a Saint Clair Shores Council Meeting!

By all means, review our previous articles if you're looking to immerse yourself in the complete Mongoose Experience! It's a wild ride...

Meanwhile, you can look forward to seeing Marty at every council meeting until they carry him out, kicking and screaming about his constitutional rights and dropping names of every elected official in the country!

Enjoy!

Your humble tour guide,

John Tuttle

Marty Where? Eh, Who Gives a Shit.

Happy Slurpee Day, fellow CoMmies! 

Thanks for your continued support of this blog, especially the paying members of our exclusive Chronicles of Marty - Insider page.

Even as Marty reports us to Google on a daily basis, we're still here laughing at the idiocy that is Marty "The Mongoose" Prehn. 

Sorry, Marty. As long as you're a lying dumb ass, we'll be here! You can also keep reporting us to Yahoo, Facebook and AT&T, too! Damn, are you stupid.

There hasn't been much to report about Elder Dawg lately because honestly, Marty hasn't done anything worth mentioning. He's been so busy posing as an advocate of whatever is trending in the news to his adoring fake friends on Facebook who've never met him, he hasn't had time for worthless threats or fake events. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before we see more of what we've become accustomed to with Marty: Complete bullshit and grandiose lies. "It's coming, Boy!"

Other than Marty's tearful address to the Fraser City Council, complete with framed picture of an idiot photo bombing

How indeed. Retard.

a presidential candidate in the early 80's and a ratty, lice-infested Special Agent hat dropped on the podium, the only news to report is the deactivation of Marty's Facebook page. I honestly don't know why Marty deactivated his Facebook page but, just like everyone else in the world, I don't care and neither does his adoptive mother nor the Notorious Chism Brat Gang. The best part is that if anyone wonders where he went, they take to the search engines and, like magic, a new CoMmie is born! Thanks, Mongoose!

Maybe Marty finally found something to live for other than Facebook. Nah.

Is Marty trying to hide from someone? Like Flo's relatives or Wells Fargo?

Did Mayor Joe or Pete Lucido finally tell Marty to get his lies off their page and it was easier to remove the entire account because of the overwhelming amount of crap he's lied about?

Is Marty just trying out a new Special Ed Agent tactic in an attempt to throw us off his trail? Until he does something about his smell, he's still fairly easy to track. Hell, just follow the McTrash.

I'll wrap this up so our readers will be free to post their own theories in the comments below. Happy Catfish Hunting, CoMmies!

JT

PS: Kasem Cares - about everyone except that repulsive retard in Detroit.

Visually Offensive, Profoundly Stupid and Overwhelmingly Pungent Mongoose

Unreal. Just friggin unreal.

Elder Dawg Rides Again

Greetings CoMmies.

This report is going to be short, sweet and to the point. You don't really need me to point out that Marty Prehn is a lying, worthless, pathetic idiot - that's already a well established fact. The latest Marty crap is just more of the same lies we've seen hundreds of times.

Yes, I saw his long post claiming he's been invited to speak in front of the Michigan legislative house judiciary committee. We all saw it and I'm sure we simultaneously thought the same thing: "Ha! What a load of bullshit!" There is a good reason for that, it's a load of bullshit.

Yes, I saw his great celebratory post claiming Pete Lucido introduced a visitation bill just to fulfill a promise he made Marty. I saw Marty already claiming he would consult Pete and the committee about amendments to this bill. Of course, Marty wasn't smart enough to read that it's not a bill, just an amendment to an existing bill. I guess Marty will be amending the amendment. Marty Wow, you're a lying moron.

Yes, I also saw his claims that he would be inviting Ms. Kasem to speak during the Chism hearing (the same one the dumb ass must have forgotten he wasn't allowed to speak at), and to speak with him in front of a joint session of the Michigan house and senate. Will you be speaking in front of the joint session the same day as your committee testimony, or is that scheduled for another day, Marty? If it's different days, does that mean two separate fundraisers for gas money?

By now, I'm sure all of our usual readers have picked up on the different attitude I have while doing this latest report. Let me attempt to explain my obvious indifference. I've often wondered why people let him continue with his obvious lies. Why don't our new readers in Minnesota speak up about what Marty did to Florence? Why don't the various organizations Marty has attached himself to, that figured out he was a fraud, speak up? Why does Pete Lucido let Marty continue to use his name in his lies? The answer is pretty obvious in my opinion. It doesn't really affect them negatively because they know most people just ignore the village idiot. They aren't concerned about Marty's past and future scam victims because it doesn't reflect badly on them. They really just don't care.

Bottom line is this, CoMmies:

No matter what Marty claims, what lies he tells, who's name he drops, one thing will never change. Marty will be the same worthless, pathetic, attention starved, vindictive, loser tomorrow that he is today and has been for many years. No amount of grandiose lies and claims will ever change that. When Marty dies, he will be alone. No patriot guard escort, no twenty one gun salute, no long eulogy given by celebrities or elected officials, nothing. No one will even notice he is gone. That's because his entire life is nothing more than a Facebook lie.

In Marty's own words:

"I AM WHAT I AM!"

I couldn't agree more, you lying and worthless loser.

Marty Prehn: "Master Baiter" Extraordinaire!

Oh, he's good. A Master, in fact:

Nice to see that he hasn't lost his "touch"...

Justice is a fickle bitch.

Having made zero traction with four years of threats of RICO lawsuits, immediate arrests and lengthy prison terms, the Special Agent has taken matters "into his own hands", as it were, and the hunter has now become the hunted.

That's right, Flem Ling, you are now officially being hunted, stalked, harassed or whatever the hell Marty does in his abundant spare time.

As is par, this moron can't even use the jargon correctly:

I can assure you, Marty, no one on earth is interested in any romantic relationship with you - even deceptively - online or in the real world.

While we all celebrated the greatest birthday in the world since the first Christmas, Marty went into stupidity overload, sitting in the Boarding House of the Stars alone and miserable like every other Saturday night. He decided he needed to lash out at Sean Fleming in an attempt to equalize his pain. The bitter realization that there is still nobody in this world that gives a rat's ass about his birthday, or any other day in his life for that matter, must have pushed the Special Ed Agent over the cliff. You're a pathetic, immature loser, Marty.

Most of the posts Marty made during his great day of birth were his same old cyberstalker empty threats aimed at Flem Ling. There is no point in reposting them here because we've seen them all before. For some reason, Marty seemed to think posting the transcript from his big PPO hearing bothered Flem because he kept doing it over and over. It was fun watching him tag Pete Lucido and all of the lawyers on his friends list. That should really scare the crap out of Fleming.

News Flash, Marty: Those lawyers couldn't care less about your pissing match with Sean. At least not until you pony up what they call a retainer. And no, Special Agent, I don't mean one of those things kids get after they get their braces removed. Pay up or shut up, you idiot. Besides, who in their right mind would even consider representing you?

The most exciting part of Marty's day of posting was the debut of his latest superhero persona - CATFISH HUNTER now joins the ranks of Marty the Mongoose, Elder Avenger and Elder DAWG! In reality, he's really only known as that fat, retarded guy who wanders up and down Gratiot bothering people.

Judge "Corsica" will be interested in hearing about Marty's new, aggressive identity and mission in life.

Marty Wow!

Hijack Alert - Saint Clair Shores Memorial Day Parade!

Code Red!

"Everyone is welcome" is Mongoosespeak for "Personal invitation".

Restraining order or not, Marty is going to march in that damn parade if it kills him.  Free candy and a new shirt seals the deal.

"Bite me, Rubello!"

Happy Birthday, Flo!