Marty Wow Commemorative Lunchbox - Just Add Food!

Now is the time, the time is now - for a big announcement from everyone here at CoM!

As we continue to watch Marty rename and change the content of whatever he's calling his great weekend of fake events, all of us here decided we'd go to Happy Hour for a little team building and brainstorming session. After a few adult beverages, some bright intern, who shall remain nameless, found some inspiration and came up with a great idea. Why not have a competing weekend extravaganza to honor the biggest lying fraud the world has ever seen?

As the drinks flowed during our meeting, so did the great ideas for various events we could hold during our Moronic Mongoose tribute weekend. Unfortunately, these ideas were scribbled on a cocktail napkin that became unreadable when Cookout vomitted on himself and the table. I can't remember all the great ideas now but, as our staffers remember them, I'll release the details. For now I'll just use the go-to delay tactic our hero Marty uses when announcing his great upcoming events.

"Details to follow. Watch for the upcoming event page!"

One idea that did manage to survive this historic night was a merchandising idea that will be available to all of our loyal readers for purchase during the various weekend events. I sent the order to begin production to our factory this morning. Other items are "in the works" but here is our first official item to commemorate this historical weekend:

Order now, CoMmies, quantities are going to be limited to preserve the collector's value. These won't last long, so don't hesitate. Order now!

Stay tuned to the Internet's foremost authority on "All Things Marty" as we get approval from our legal department to release certain correspondence sent to the former Eastpointe Cruise Committee member. Nice work, Bob. Now go apologize to that waitress from our meeting...

"Marty WOW!"

Stay tuned, CoMmies. It'll be historic...

Marty Prehn's Grizzly Fantasy Weekend Orgy Exposed!

Now is the time, the time is now... for Marty to dramatically twist his latest fake event to catch up with the changing scenery in his pathetic life. 

As predicted by this blog just a short time ago that Marty's latest fantasy event would inevitably revert back to his once a year hero scam, I'm considering changing the focus of this blog to move into sports betting. However, if I'm using Marty's life as a template, it would only amount to playing the favorite, and there's little challenge in that. The outcome is always a forgone conclusion.

Here is the latest iteration of the farce to be held on June 16th:

There it is friends and neighbors, "I Need A Hero 2016". I didn't include all of Marty's announcement because, frankly, what he's now claiming his dinner will be all about is pointless. We all know there will be no dinner so why bother with his latest batch of lies about it. Today, I'd rather focus on what has already been forgotten about the great Dan Haggerty Memorial Weekend. Trust me, that list is long enough that I'm able to provide enough idiot fodder with this update.

Marty's great Dan weekend was originally scheduled to begin Thursday night June 15th. Marty mentioned a big luau was being held at the hotel that all of the "left coast, Hollywood stars" we're staying at. Then suddenly, after Marty enjoyed Easter Dinner with Dan Haggerty and Robin Williams (yes, Marty claimed he not only talks to dead people, he has dinner with them as well) at a wilderness themed restaurant, the Thursday night event turned into a Dan Haggerty roast. Marty posted pictures of this restaurant and went on about following bear tracks into the woods to find it, despite the fact the restaurant is located in a strip mall in a Detroit suburb. Marty claimed to have a private room reserved that would hold 60 people, plus room for 200 more in the main dinning area. As usual, when the restaurant was called and asked about this big roast they replied with the standard "Marty Who?"

Next up on Marty's great fantasy Dan weekend schedule was the High Chaparral reunion picnic. This event was supposed to take place at "high noon" on Friday June 16th. Marty claimed he was holding a western style round-up picnic at the same location he first waited in line for Dan's autograph then wet himself while getting a picture with him. All of the "Special Agent to the Stars" famous cowboy friends would be there. Marty was even planning a fundraiser to do some repairs to the property so it would be in top notch shape for the incredible event at the now historic site. After the Mongoose couldn't even get a Facebook hello from his famous cowboy friend aka "The Gang", much less any public acknowledgement they were attending, Marty just stopped mentioning it. This event was supposed to be included in the $73 ticket price but, I never saw a price reduction when he just dropped that event from the schedule without another mention of it. Imagine that!

The previous two fantasies were just the lead-in to what was to be the greatest event ever put on by MVP Productions. It would have to be when you consider MVP has yet to produce anything other than Mongoose Facebook droppings. Friday night would be the red/black carpet, academy awards type, star studded, historic Dan Haggerty Memorial Dinner and Dan Haggerty Humanitarian Award presentation! Marty really let his imagination run wild with this delusion. As with all of Marty's dream world events, this one had major corporations sponsoring, was to to be televised nationally, and live streamed worldwide so Marty's international fans would get a chance to witness history. I hear the Mongoose is really popular in Sri Lanka. But that could be related to all of his talk about masturbation and small "ding a dings". Just sayin'.

Harley Davidson, one of the corporate sponsors, was going to have a motorcycle on display because Marty saw a picture on the Internet of Dan riding one. There was even going to be a classic ambulance on display to make a certain Hollywood legend feel at home. And who could forget the veritable Dan Haggerty Gift Shop? Coffee mugs with the Griz on them, and hooded sweat shirts with the photoshopped picture of Marty and Dan that the Mongoose stole from this blog. After Marty saw a Grizzly Adams lunchbox on eBay, he announced he was having some produced to sell at his dinner as well. I guess now that Dan has been dropped from the dinner, I'll be on the lookout for people wearing their Mongoose/Dan hoodie as they walk from the homeless shelter to the soup kitchen so they can have coffee served in a Grizzly Adams mug! Marty is always thinking of others, you know. Good works in action.

Originally, the entertainment for this historic dinner was going to be provided by "legendary Nashville singers" and such. After Marty was exposed as a fake advocate in Tennessee, he hit the bars in the Detroit suburbs and suddenly became the agent for a local Rod Stewart impersonator. Danny D and the Vagabonds were then announced as the musical guest for the gala. I see in the newest dinner version, they are still the scheduled entertainment. I guess the deposit check for the band isn't due yet because once it is, Danny D will be forgotten as well.

As the size of this report grows, I'll just skip over the Saturday Mongoose hijack of the Eastpointe Cruise that he's likely banned from. I guess the celebrity meet and greet tents, along with Marty's church youth group reunion pot luck and the Lakeview High reunion have just been forgotten as well. This entire fiasco has continued to follow the same path that Marty's real life is on. A slow swirl down a half clogged toilet. It's not surprising that Marty needs funds for a new one at the cottage.

I'll close this report by mentioning the latest Mongoose catch phrase. I've seen Marty post an Elder Dawg spin on our very own catchphrase "Marty Who?" Marty has adapted this and now he says:

"Marty Who
Marty Where
Marty WOW!"

I really couldn't agree more with this new line from the idiot. He just forgot the end of the last line in the new catchy quip. Since Marty loves to steal intellectual property from this blog, I'll borrow a little of his.

Marty Who?
Marty Where?
Marty, WOW, YOU'RE A DUMB ASS!

Dan Haggerty Memorial; Post Mortem

You know it's coming, God love ya and Hello...

The Mongoose Challenge: Just Name One, Marty...

We continue to see nonsense like this posted day after day after day by the idiot fraud, Marty Prehn. 

On and on about left coast Hollywood stars. Red carpet and, based on this comment, some black carpet as well, academy awards blah blah blah ad nauseum. After seeing at least a dozen of these same lie filled comments, I though I would issue a challenge to Marty:

Give us one name Marty! Just one person who any normal human could even remotely consider a star. Any D-list celebrity, commercial actor or famous singer. Washed up SovCit stuntmen and lonely old maids do not qualify as celebrities. You should be embarrassed to keep posting crap like the comment above. Your own event page has only four people committed to coming and one of them is your stupid ass! Even loony Vivian has found another "way to cope".

One last thing Marty. I'll bet you're wondering why Cody Haggerty and Darby Hinton decided to un-friend you. I'll make a deal with you - give us a celebrity name that you can prove is coming to Saint Clair Shores on June 17th to attend your fake, delusional Dan circle-jerk and I'll show you why Dan's friends and relatives are dropping you like a Mongoose who just shit in their hand.

Everything you touch turns out bad, including Jr...

Marty Prehn's $73.00 Séance

BREAKING NEWS!

In my nicotine stained fingers, I'm holding a lucky ticket to Marty's Great Red Carpet, Star Studded, Black Tie Dan Haggerty Memorial Dinner and Humanitarian Awards Weekend Orgy!

I was a little nervous that Marty might sniff out our operative and refuse to sell us a ticket but, as usual, the Mongoose's investigative skills were lacking. 

Without further ado, I present you with our ticket to Marty's renamed and recycled, I Need a Hero event:

This ticket was produced on Marty's most abundant paper source, an empty Del Taco wrapper. I guess the Mongoose decided to save a few bucks by recycling paper. Thank God he didn't use discarded tissues from his MVZ surveillance days.  Or maybe he's next going to become an environmental advocate. Either way, I have my ticket and look forward to posting all of my pictures photo bombing Hollywood stars and country music legends. June won't be here soon enough!

God love ya and Hello...

He Has Risen!

Happy Easter to everyone. I'm going to post the latest Marty lie fest just in case anyone needs a good laugh. I'm not going to review it because, it's just to moronic to bother. 

Marty Prehn's Spring Break

Marty Prehn's Historic Wet Dream!

Giddyup, CoMmies!

We're back with the next installment of our coverage of the biggest fame hound, lying idiot humanity has ever spawned, Marty Prehn. 

As the Mongoose continues to announce more of his incredible fantasy events, he has actually reached the level of "historic" that he loves to tag everything that he does. The amount of lying and overall stupidity in these announcements is the only thing that is historic, in my opinion. I'm starting to wonder if Marty is still high from the drugs he was taking after his "near death, emergency yet scheduled heart procedure" or if his mental delusions have reached "historic" levels. Either way, it's fun to watch the moron dream bigger and bigger every day.

Here is the next great Marty fantasy event, where he dreams of having friends and endless food:

Marty starts out this latest delusion by asking Terry Bomar to be sure and invite his famous friends to join Marty in Michigan for his imaginary Dan Haggerty Tribute and Awards Dinner. We've given this event some coverage before and it appears Marty is still going with that lie. He still fails to give the location for this star studded gala but I'm sure he'll announce that soon enough. I'm also still wondering if Marty is going to announce a ticket price for this dinner, what's on the menu and other details that all events like this announce in advance. What does Marty expect Terry to tell his friends when he invites them? "Hey guys, plan to come to Michigan for a Dan dinner that I know nothing about other than some idiot on Facebook says is happening June 17th." Certainly sounds like a great plan so far.

Marty also makes sure to ask Terry to include the Eastpointe Cruise the next day. Elder Dawg has the great plan of setting up booths for theses stars at the cruise so they can sign autographs and conduct "meet and greets". Who is responsible for these "booths" Marty wants to set up? Is Marty arraigning that along with all of his dinner plans? How does Marty plan on paying for all of these necessities? Is there once again unnamed corporate sponsors to be announced soon? So many unanswered questions that need to be addressed before these "Hollywood celebrities" have their people book hotel rooms and flights.  "Stop my filming, hold that studio recording session. I'm going to Detroit to hang out with Marty Prehn!"

Marty left this comment on a post made by Terry about a friendly get-together they affectionately called "High Chaparral Reunion" so naturally, Marty also adds a Michigan High "Chapparel" (idiot can't even copy the proper spelling) Reunion in an attempt to catch the interest of this group of actors. This reunion is a western style picnic that suddenly gets added to Marty's Dan Haggerty Invitational Cruise Weekend. It's to be held at "high noon" the same day as the memorial dinner. Marty attempts to let Terry know the location for this picnic without actually giving away the name of the location to his hated cyber stalkers. But, as with everything covert the Mongoose attempts to do, he fails miserably. Anyone who has access to the Internet can easily find the location of Dan's artwork. It's located at The Old Lambert Dairy Farm in Washington Township, Michigan. One quick phone call gets the same results that looking into any of Marty's lies does. When the lady who answered the phone is asked for details about Marty Prehn's upcoming picnic, she gives the standard answer, "MARTY WHO?" The property owners have no clue that they are hosting a picnic that includes Hollywood legends and Nashville country stars. I'm sure everyone who reads here is as shocked as I am.

There is one other claim the Mongoose makes in this pipedream that I have to mention. Marty says he's working to get a Michigan Historical Landmark dedicated to pointing out the history that was made the day he waited in line for an autograph and picture with Dan Haggerty and Pete Lucido. My first reaction was "what history?" but, then I started thinking. What if I'm wrong? What if Marty really is an important and influential person in Michigan? Just to be sure, I sent Bob Cookout undercover to see what he could find out about Marty's historical importance to this location and the entire state of Michigan. While posing as a janitor inside Pete Lucido's office, RC3 uncovered some unbelievable new information. Not only does the State of Michigan feel Marty did make history that day, they are actually erecting a marker to commemorate that historic site. Cookout even managed to get a picture of the marker as it was being installed. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the first public glimpse of the marker notating Marty's place in Michigan history:

At first, I was stunned and confused by the marker and the story it told. I couldn't understand why I'd never heard about Marty pissing himself and why this was so historic. I then did a little digging and found out the whole story. If you look at the picture Marty is so proud of, the same picture he searched for weeks to find so he could post it, you'll see the truth:

That's right CoMmies, look at Marty's pants in the picture. They are indeed soaking wet in the crotch area only. But how can this be considered a historic event, I'm sure you're all asking. It's now makes perfect sense. At no time in the history of the State of Michigan has an elected official been more embarrassed than Pete Lucido is at the exact moment this picture was taken. HISTORY INDEED! Thank God it doesn't show the errection Marty is surely sporting.

So I'll close this report by congratulating Marty "The Mongoose" Prehn:

CONGRATULATIONS, MARTY! YOU ARE FINALLY PART OF MICHIGAN HISTORY!