Marty Prehn Hits Laziness Nirvana!

Gentle CoMmies;

Your favorite blog, The Chronicles of Marty, has gone high tech!

That's right. We no longer have to wait on Marty's sausage fingers to type his lies and hate. Thanks to voice recognition and MetroPCS having a sale, we are now tapped directly into Marty's idiotic stream of consciousness, as he can now entertain us by simply blathering every evil thought that pops in his fat head and posting it directly to Facebook.

Laziness of this magnitude does have it's drawbacks. The accuracy of his lies and inaccuracies suffer in the translation, but when has that ever stopped him?:

"Marty Prehn
I am having to get used to talking into this phone to do my text messages but that is the greatest pitcher that there ever was. And then I can always have an ambulance come and pick you up so you could be in the parade just let me know if your got C or if you're in that much pain I understand but I think would be great for you to at least be in the parade with me and people see the greatest baseball pitcher that there ever was. Of course we can always have a parade for you once you're inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame which hopefully will happen in the near future you deserve it so does bill for him I see his son is has been picked up by the by the Detroit Tigers for the farm club that's great news.
Like · 1 · More · Jun 16 at 7:57am"

His unending litany of lies and hate are overwhelming our staff.  There are so many to choose from we've had to hire a couple of temps just to weed through the Gratiot Cruise nonsense. This particular one-sided exchange caught our eye, as it captures the true essence of Marty and his inability to think of anyone but himself, and to a lesser extent, his current man-crush, Denny McLain:

"Minister Malik Shabazz
8 hrs ·
... Lastly but certainly not least August, 2014, 17 year old Aundrea Garland was mudered by criminals with a AK 47, shot 3 times & BLED 2 DEATH ON THE STREET LIKE A HOG ! This 17 year old child was a Honor Student that was Graduated by her School posthumously. She was innocent. We believe that there is a tie-in to the murder of a Rapper & his girlfriend @ East Land Mall last year & possibly 7 other murders r connected.... Aundrea's mom has been recieving DEATH THREATS 4 POSTING UP CRIME STOPPER FLYERS/JUSTICE Sunday, 6-21-2015 @ 2:30 pm 16651 Edmore Btwn Cushing & Shakespeare Det MI 48205. We will Pray, Rally march throughout the neigborhood, go Door 2 Door, hit Intersections & Businesses. We will also have a Love Offering 4 the mother as we MUST FIND A NEW PLACE 4 HER 2 LIVE! Please Instagram, FB, Tweet, Email Text but most of all COME OUT & PARTICIPATE ! For Detroit Love In Action! 313-646-3375, 313-718-6008 1-800-SPEAK-UP ! THE CRIME STOPPERS
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Marty Prehn
Minister Malik Shabazz let's talk tomorrow about a Unity night at Comerica Park on Friday July 17 when the Tigers play the Baltimore Orioles with fireworks afterwards. 1 586 563 0989 and the renaming of Roosevelt Park to the Roosevelt UNITY Park and I have some other ideas to make the city sparkle and get national media attention.
Like · 1 · More · 5 hours ago
Marty Prehn
We need to get John Roach, Alexis Wiley, Mayor Duggan, Tom Wilson and the Illitch family on board to honor 2 Detroit Sports Legends Bill Freehan and Denny McLain. Let's get this done.
Like · 1 · More · 5 hours ago
Marty Prehn
Let's have a press conference and get the media involved and Crime Stoppers.
Like · 1 · More · 5 hours ago
Marty Prehn
And the PEPSI company is already a sponsor that night.
Like · 1 · More · 5 hours ago
Marty Prehn
Looking to get CHEVROLET, FORD, CHRYSLER involved as sponsors as well.
Like · 1 · More · 5 hours ago
Marty Prehn
I will see if I can attend on Sunday my friend.
Like · More · 1 hour ago"

So, we have a black minister, outraged by the violent death of a young woman, attempting to raise money for the decedent's mother and do something positive for the community.  Marty, however, hijacks the Facebook thread and turns it into another one of his circus acts. Four hours later, he realizes that no one took the bait and offers to possibly stop by the original event. Right. Only if he can be assured that a news crew with a camera will be there.  Same story, different day. If nothing else, Marty is predictable.

This is one of maybe thousands of similar inappropriate posts by Marty - just this week! And he does it without being burdened by a pesky keyboard to deal with. He just sits there and spews like Teddy Ruxpin on crack!  Picture Stephen Hawkings, but void of anything resembling intelligence.

A fat, stupid, incredibly lazy, hate filled liar.

Marty Prehn: Serial Photo Bomber/Liar Extraordinaire

Today I'd like to thank Marty Prehn. He continues to supply us all with an endless supply of comedy to laugh at. This is Marty's latest idiotic comment for our entertainment:

Marty Prehn
"So I wonder what Bob Cookout III and his cyber stalkers and cyber terrorists will say now about me not being at Michigan Attorney General Bill Schuette's press conference announcing that he is running for re-election. Let's see if they have are man or woman enough to admit that they were wrong and don't have a clue about what they are talking about. Same goes for their lies about me not graduating from BJU or that I got a pilot's license to fly a real plane when I was in college or that I know US Senator Carl Levin and the list goes on about all the lies that they seem to enjoy telling about me. Oh and the other one is that Bill Windsor is no longer talking to me. Their latest fabrication is that I was not at the Elder Abuse Conference that was held in Troy, Michigan this past Friday that Sean Fleming said that he may attend but failed to deliver with his presence. Interesting too that Troy Mayor Dane Slater was not at this event and the question is why? I know both the Police Chief from Troy and the Sgt that Sean Fleming talked to and left his phone number to make false allegations about me which has caused a file to be open on Sean Fleming and be investigated as a internet hacker, cyber stalker and cyber terrorist and how has made death threats against myself and Bill Windsor. I was so wanting Sean Fleming to be there and have a restraining order served on him at this event and catch it all on video to play it on you tube. Bill Windsor are you still in Madison Heights? Oh and Sean and the JILK loser please note that I am wearing my SPECIAL AGENT hat that just seems to get your panties in a wad. Yeah I know Sean you don't wear panties as you go commando. Using your military training to commit internet crimes is a serious charge Sean and will get you into trouble rregarding your military benefits."

Marty went into lie overload with this one. I'll try to touch on a few of them for our laughing pleasure. 

I'll start with the picture this comment was posted under. Anyone who was willing to wait in line could have their picture taken with the AG candidate. You were literally drooling for the chance to pose with this unsuspecting man, as evidenced by your shirt stain. This picture in no way means Marty is connected to the candidate or special. All it really shows is how desperate this sweat stained idiot is to try to make himself look like more than the real life loser nobody he really is. 

Is this the same attorney general that is putting your sister in federal prison for 20 years for murder? You know, the one you've had open up poor Trish's suicide as a murder committed by MVZ? The same guy who your weirdo group wants to put on trial for treason and assume his position?

Next I'll mention him graduating from BJU. The university has no record that Marty received a degree. Of course Marty would never lie about one of his great achievements in life so I assume the university records must be wrong. Maybe Marty will post a copy of his diploma to help set the record straight and prove that I'm the liar not him. I won't be holding my breath waiting for that to ever happen. 

It has been confirmed several times now that no one in Carl Levin's office, including the Senator himself, have any idea who Marty is. This is just another lie Marty tells to look important to his prospective victims. He'll continue to make this claim until he gets a cease and desist from the Senator. 

Now I'll talk directly to Marty because it's obvious he reads here on a regular basis. Marty, could you please post the death threats against you that you keep referencing? Nobody cares enough about you to threaten you either way. While you're posting your proof maybe you should include the restraining order you claim to have against Sean. You have his address so why not just stop by and give it to him like you did Mr Kraus? I think it's safe to say you haven't done that because this is just one more of your lies. 

Moving on to the next topic, your "please be my daddy" man crush Big Vexi. I never said he stopped talking to you. I said he never talked to you in the first place. After he received the donation from Flo in your name, he was done with you. The fact that you actually believe he was recently in Michigan shows just how out of touch and mentally challenged you are. If Bill were to ever actually read your idiotic spew, he would shake his head at just how stupid you really are. 

Last but certainly not least, your Special Agent hat. It doesn't bother anyone in the least that you wear a hat that any moron can buy at Walmart. The fact that you squeeze that thing onto your incredibly fat head before going anywhere is actually a great source of laughs. I'd have hoped Linda Fergan Bowery would have pointed out just how stupid you look wearing it but maybe she needs the assurance that no other woman would even consider talking to someone that dresses that way. 

Mongoose Abuse: The Silent Struggle

Something you don't read Marty claiming to be a victim of - yet - is the uglier than sin topic of Domestic Violence, a crime ripe for Marty to exploit. It's amazing what information a few drinks at G. Willie's can yield. 

Police and media typically redact the names of domestic violence victims, and we're no exception. For that reason, we're reporting on an incident that occurred three days before Christmas and will only refer to those involved as Smaller Man and Big Fat Slob.

Last month, Big Fat Sob called the police in fear for his safety from Smaller Man after an argument.  It is alleged that Smaller Man got fed up with Big Fat Slob's slobbish housekeeping.  

Smaller Man was arrested and charged with domestic violence. He was forced to pay a $500 bond and was released from jail the next day.  Smaller Man is also now barred from returning to the marital home on Hayes Avenue until after the spat is resolved in court on 2/12/14.

Smaller Man has now been charged with domestic violence, had to hire a lawyer and pay $500 to bond out of jail. He also had to find a new place to live until Big Fat Slob gets his day in court next month.  I guess that's the price a 5'7", 160 lb man pays for yelling at his 6'4", 350 lb body guarding, bounty hunting, process serving, military trained roommate. Luckily, there were no injuries or even physical contact reported. He's also lucky that Big Fat Slob's lightning-fast reflexes and instincts didn't kick in or he would have found himself on the business end of a rolling pin or frying pan!

This is one domestic violence story that may have a happy ending. When Big Fat Slob finally gets evicted for any number of reasons, he'll be able to seek rent-free living in a battered women's shelter, where he'll find entirely new opportunities to play the victim and seek donations!