Showing posts with label Fat is the New Black. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fat is the New Black. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Marty Prehn's Life Doesn't Really Matter...

Thanks for tuning in for our latest Marty the Moron update. And before you twist that caption into a death threat, Marty, it's a commentary on your entire pathetic existence. 

Throughout our coverage of the Moronic Mongoose, one thing has always stood out. Marty is willing to support any cause or person he thinks might bring him some attention. We are now in the middle of Marty's latest transformation. Forget elder abuse, suicide, bullying, or kissing Denny McLain's injured foot. After having both the suburbs and the entire Caucasian population tell him to go to hell, Marty is undergoing his greatest fake advocacy yet; He's now become a black activist.


If it worked for Rachel Dolezal, a skinny white chick in Spokane, think of what it could do for a fat white dude in Detroit!

After years of being rejected by any member of his own race, except for elderly polish women suffering dementia, Marty has decided a change was needed. I can only speculate as to why Marty has decided to become African American instead of maybe Asian or American Eskimo. I have to believe it's because of a couple of different factors. Black protestors have been in the news recently with catchy slogans printed on signs marching in protest. Marty, being the desperate media hound he is, couldn't help but notice who was on the nightly news. When you add that to him getting a pat on the head from a black Muslim activist, with his own TV SHOW, plus Marty's ban from appearing on the public TV broadcast of city council meetings, you can see why Marty chose to change his race and join the Black Panthers. It's all about the TV camera, brutha!

A quick glance at Marty's latest Facebook posts can see his latest pathetic attempts to insert himself into a cause that might get him in front of a camera. Things like calling for the release of a jailed black activist, posting links to a black owned business that paid for a billboard message to the black community. News articles about events at historic black churches in the Detroit area. These are just a few of the latest examples of just how fake the Mongoose really is. Marty is too damn stupid to see how his ever changing new advocate roles conflict with his previous ones. 

As is my nature, I can't help but think of the many questions Marty's latest change brings up.


Now that Marty is throwing his powerful support behind a Muslim activist, which side of the street will he appear on if Terry Jones returns to burn some Korans in Michigan? I'll give you a hint, whatever side gives him the best odds of getting in the news camera's view. 

How will Marty's BFF Carla feel about his support of African American causes? Who, besides Marty, can forget her comments about blacks being monkeys, swinging from trees, or her telling Flo to "suck Obama's black monkey phallus'? I think this could be a deal breaker, Marty. Your new Facebook "friends" may not pay attention to your page, but this blog is getting more hits from within the city of Detroit than ever!

Did Marty leave Linda's apartment and move in with Jr in the ghetto because Linda was "too white" and he needed to be closer to his new "people"? Nobody can deny Jr is a hood rat. Seems about right, as Jr's previous roommate sits in the Macomb County Jail on armed robbery charges - with a five month old baby, no less!  Now there's a celebrity for you, Marty. She's famous worldwide for her touching "What Would Jesus Do?" tattoo, complete with an artist's rendition of "The Human Centipede" across her chest.  Stay classy, Ronnie Moore. We're rooting for you, girlfriend!

Will Marty's hero worship of Denny be transferred to Al Sharpton? They are both guilty of financial crimes, so the transition would be easy. 

Who will be in probate court to team up with greedy kids trying to get their elderly parents estates before they are "wasted" on caring for the elderly person's needs late in life if the Elder Dawg is busy protesting against Whirlpool on behalf of a black activist?

Will Marty get new business cards to pass out in the black community? What will his snappy new title be? I'd go with "Cracker for the Cause!"

I could go on and on but, I want Marty to be able to read this without having to rest before he's done. I'll close with this thought: Marty will read this article and then pronounce we are racist. That is far from the truth. In fact, many key contributors here are black. We here at CoM are not prejudiced against any race - only fat idiots who will become anything in order to get media attention and scam money. This one isn't going to work either, Marty. You're still a transparent idiot!