Reality/Fact Check on Marty

As a public service to residents of Fraser, and any other metro Detroit city, here is a partial list of people you should contact about Marty Prehn. Most people on this list Marty has claimed he works closely with on a regular basis. Contact them and see if they'll give you a reference or their opinion about him. 

Michigan Attorney General Bill Schuette

Secretary of State Ruth Johnson

Oakland County Sheriff Michael Bouchard

Oakland County Prosecutor Jessica Cooper

Macomb County Sheriff Anthony Wickersham

Every Police Department in the Detroit area

US Attorney Daniel Lemisch

Michigan FBI

Michigan State Police

Representative Peter Lucido

Michigan Senator Steve Bieda

Eastpointe Mayor Suzanne Pixley

Fraser Mayor Joe Nichols

POTUS Donald Trump

Reverend Jessie Jackson

"Hot-N-Ready" Private Investigator Carey Torrice 

Kerri Kasem and the Kasem Cares Foundation 

NASGA

Jamie Cook, Macomb Daily


Americans Against Abusive Probate Guardianship

Dr Sam Sugar

Rich Black

That's just a few that come to mind. This list could take all day if I continue. It might also be very interesting to see what either of Marty's ex wives might have to say about him. Or I'm sure siblings would give you an earful about his various lies. Perhaps you could also send a letter to his son c/o Michigan Department of Corrections, Prisoner #719487.

Happy Hunting to all the new CoMmies out there!

"And that's why we love Fraser... "

P.S.  I have a new favorite drink CoMmies, it's BOURBON ON THE ROCKS! You really should give it a try. 

Bourbon on the Rocks

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE!

Work that case, Mongoose!

Unbridled Stupidity.

Hard to believe that this idiot can sit up and take nourishment several times a day.

Marty Makes An Ass Of Himself, Again

The world's biggest idiot just can't stop himself!

Fraser Prepares for a Mongoose Infestation!

A hearty CoM welcome to all of our new readers!

As the foremost authority on all things Marty,  it's somewhat humbling to see so many people taking an interest in this blundering idiot.  I'm willing to bet that you've never encountered another rodent anywhere near as moronic or nasty as this one. Today I'll do my best to point out the known tactics of this nuisance and how to best rid yourself of a Mongoose Infestation. Trust me, you don't want one in your town. Kinda like pubic lice, but without the glitz and glamour!  

And you people thought that the sinkhole was the worst that could happen. Tsk tsk...

I've seen many residents of Fraser asking how they were unfortunate enough to suffer a Mongoose infestation. There's a simple explanation for the arrival of this disgusting and odoriferous vermin. It's naturally drawn to television news crews or reporters. I'm sure everyone noticed Marty standing in the background while people were being interviewed for the local nightly news. That's the burning instinct of the Mongoose. Make sure you're in camera view at all cost! The lure of the news crew is so strong on the Mongoose, he once chased a news van all over Metro Detroit after a storm so he could be interviewed as a storm damage expert, calling every station to try to give an on-air report! No one answered and he went back home to his hotplate and Dinty Moore. Hell, that's how this asshole found you in the first place. Having no family or friends to celebrate Christmas Eve with, the loser went sewer hopping in hopes of being on the news! 

There are several sure signs your town has become a nesting area for the Mongoose. Speaking in front of your city council talking more about his own delusions of self importance than the issue he's supposedly interested in. Hanging around as close to news crews as possible. Spewing baseless crap about people involved in the issue that brought the media there in the first place. Claiming he's an expert on the subject even though it's obvious he's absolutely clueless on the subject. Dropping as many names of elected official and celebrities as possible while claiming to be "good friends" with them. And most importantly, taking credit for things he had absolutely nothing to do with. Here's a recent example:

Once you realize your city hall has been infested by this vile creature,

 the most important rule to remember is this: Never, under any circumstance, do you feed the Mongoose. I promise you, not only will he bite the hand that fed him, he'll include their children, distant relatives, friends, and employers.

I'm sure by now you're thinking: "Oh No! We're infested, now what do we do?" Fear not, my new friends in Fraser, hope is not lost. Even though your embattled mayor is providing plenty of food for this rodent, he can still be stamped out. Just like a cockroach in your kitchen, the Mongoose will flee when you turn the light on and expose him. And with Marty, there is plenty to expose. The truth about him is the brightest light of all. Marty has told so many lies that he can't possibly back up, picking them apart is child's play.

As an experience Mongoose Elimination Expert, I'll try to arm you with the tactics needed to run this rodent off. You must shine the light on  him at the place he's most strongly drawn to, televised city council meetings. Marty can't resist the urge to speak in front of cameras so this is where he's most vulnerable. You have to use stealth when getting ready to expose him. Marty will attempt to wait until he's going to be the last speaker so no one can follow him and point out his idiocy. So, be patient! Don't get in position to speak until after Marty has committed himself and gone to the podium before you. If he doesn't know who else might be speaking, he also can't make a preemptive strike before they get the chance.

Arm yourselves with the truth about this rodent. If he claims to be an elder advocate, point out his treatment of his mother. Also a good time to mention Florence Iverson - trust me. If he claims Reagan had the Berlin Wall torn down as a favor to Marty for his father, point out no U.S. official would go out of their way to appease a former Nazi soldier. If he calls for a "forensic audit", ask why when the probate court that was handling his mother's case asked him for financial records of where his parent's money went, he took a contempt of court charge instead of complying. 

When he claims to be an experienced, but non-specific 

"Special Agent" of some sort with a yet to be named three letter agency, ask him where he bought that ratty hat. "Good friends" with government officials? Ask what proof he has other than campaign rally photo bomb pictures posted on Facebook. Maybe ask Carey "Hot N Ready" Torrice about Marty claiming that "being her bodyguard was the best job he ever had", with the requisite sexual innuendo. Ask other city councils and mayors about the times he infested their city hall. Ask all of his "media friends" if he's the reason they are covering the news in your town. Better yet, ask Peter Lucido if Marty is helping him draft legislation in Michigan and why he allows Marty to post his crap on his Facebook page.

In order to save enough bandwidth for comments, I'll wrap this report up. In short, my Fraser friends, be aware of the Mongoose but don't be afraid. Marty can be very ferocious and there is no depth he won't sink to, as he knows no shame. But there is no need to fear him. His below average intelligence, along with his constant grandiose delusions about himself, makes it easy to expose him as the worthless, powerless loser he really is. Educate yourselves and you'll have no problems pointing out what a lying ass he really is. Actually, most of the time, he points it out himself. Read just about any random page of this blog - it's Mongoose Kryptonite!

"Now the healing needs to begin."

God speed.

Tuttle

PS: Be sure to stop by the CoM booth at this weekend's fair and browse our gift shop, featuring CoM T-shirts and Mongoose Signature Collection© Lunchboxes!

Mongoose on the Loose in Fraser!

Greetings to all of our new readers from Fraser, Michigan, the latest city to have a rodent infestation!

Saint Clair Shores - √
Eastpointe - √
Berkley - √
Roseville - √
Fraser - Welcome!

We haven't had so many new readers since people actually lined up at the podium to complain about Marty Prehn at a Saint Clair Shores Council Meeting!

By all means, review our previous articles if you're looking to immerse yourself in the complete Mongoose Experience! It's a wild ride...

Meanwhile, you can look forward to seeing Marty at every council meeting until they carry him out, kicking and screaming about his constitutional rights and dropping names of every elected official in the country!

Enjoy!

Your humble tour guide,

John Tuttle

Marty Where? Eh, Who Gives a Shit.

Happy Slurpee Day, fellow CoMmies! 

Thanks for your continued support of this blog, especially the paying members of our exclusive Chronicles of Marty - Insider page.

Even as Marty reports us to Google on a daily basis, we're still here laughing at the idiocy that is Marty "The Mongoose" Prehn. 

Sorry, Marty. As long as you're a lying dumb ass, we'll be here! You can also keep reporting us to Yahoo, Facebook and AT&T, too! Damn, are you stupid.

There hasn't been much to report about Elder Dawg lately because honestly, Marty hasn't done anything worth mentioning. He's been so busy posing as an advocate of whatever is trending in the news to his adoring fake friends on Facebook who've never met him, he hasn't had time for worthless threats or fake events. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before we see more of what we've become accustomed to with Marty: Complete bullshit and grandiose lies. "It's coming, Boy!"

Other than Marty's tearful address to the Fraser City Council, complete with framed picture of an idiot photo bombing

How indeed. Retard.

a presidential candidate in the early 80's and a ratty, lice-infested Special Agent hat dropped on the podium, the only news to report is the deactivation of Marty's Facebook page. I honestly don't know why Marty deactivated his Facebook page but, just like everyone else in the world, I don't care and neither does his adoptive mother nor the Notorious Chism Brat Gang. The best part is that if anyone wonders where he went, they take to the search engines and, like magic, a new CoMmie is born! Thanks, Mongoose!

Maybe Marty finally found something to live for other than Facebook. Nah.

Is Marty trying to hide from someone? Like Flo's relatives or Wells Fargo?

Did Mayor Joe or Pete Lucido finally tell Marty to get his lies off their page and it was easier to remove the entire account because of the overwhelming amount of crap he's lied about?

Is Marty just trying out a new Special Ed Agent tactic in an attempt to throw us off his trail? Until he does something about his smell, he's still fairly easy to track. Hell, just follow the McTrash.

I'll wrap this up so our readers will be free to post their own theories in the comments below. Happy Catfish Hunting, CoMmies!

JT

PS: Kasem Cares - about everyone except that repulsive retard in Detroit.